More chat re: the way up there, elevated gal who hit on the soldier…

“So why do you think she did that, P? Do you understand? I mean I guess she’s horny and I don’t blame her for that but why me? We’re friends. We have been very good friends and why would she mess it up like this?”

“Oh, I am sure she’s got a whole fantasy,” I said.

“Fantasy?”

“Yeah. You know how men are visual?”

“Yeah.”

“Well women, we like to dream things up. We like to imagine how things would be, or could be and you are perfect for this.”

“Why? Why am I perfect? What did I do?”

“Nothing. You just have a lot of muscles and you’re… you’re dark. You are dark in all ways actually. I am sorry but this is how people see you. I hope it doesn’t hurt your feelings. They see me in the same way, that’s how I know about this.”

He just listened.

“Yeah, I have dealt with it my whole life so I know it a lot about it. You can think about this in terms of slavery for example,” I said.

“Slavery? What about slavery?” he asked.

“Well say you are the white woman and you are stuck in the house with your husband… he’s this skinny white guy.”

“Uh huh.”

“But there is a black man. He’s is out in the field and he works all day so you can imagine his body. He has this body and you know. He’s probably sweaty,” I said with a chuckle. “So you’re in the house with your husband looking out the window at this other man and you can see how easy a woman can start to fantasize. Hmm… what would that be like?”

He just stared.

“Yes. It’s a different kind of power than what their husband has with his money. And it’s attractive as hell so from there they just start making it up. It’s whatever they want it to be. Sort of like the librarian who gets her glasses ripped off and kissed hard. It is a classic fantasy. Like male strippers. They dress them up like construction workers, right? So a gal like this gal goes walking by the construction worker with his body and ooh la la. He’s looking at her and maybe he whistles and she gets a charge.”

He stared.

“And in your case everything is amplified. You are this total male archetype or at least it is easy to see you that way. Raw and uncivilized. You are actually not like that but I am talking about someone who wants to have a fantasy. So by definition who you are really is irrelevant. In their fantasy you are going to maul them. You’re going to take them and you know. You can figure out the rest. They are going to be ravaged by you.”

He stared.

“Well I’m sorry. But I bet you anything she’s got something like this going on. Plenty of women want Darth Vader not Luke,” I said.

‘What? Everybody loves Luke,” he said.

I snorted. “Are you serious? Luke has no sex appeal whatsoever. Luke is a eunuch. He’s a kid for Godsakes and a whiny one at that. He whines to Uncle Owen,” I said with a sneer. “Who wants to screw that?”

He stared.

“Well this is what I think. And I am sorry but fact is you are taboo. Like that black man in the field. The woman in the house is not supposed to be thinking of him. He’s off limits! So she is attracted and repelled simultaneously. That’s Scorpio by the way and I am pretty sure this explains what is going on with you and this gal in large part.”

“Hmm…”

“Yeah. You are this type fantasy material through and through. You are everything she is not supposed to touch. Wrong look, wrong job, wrong politics, wrong everything. Running with you is a total rebellion but the problem for you, and for me too because this happens to me almost every day of my life is this: We have to figure out why the people who want us want us. Because most times they don’t want us at all. They want a fantasy they have in their mind that has nothing to do with us human beings. We are just supposed to deliver it like some kind of vehicle. We are supposed to deliver their fantasy experience which of course does not take us into consideration at all.”

“I see.”

“So in your case, you could be a man who exploits this. If you wanted to get laid all the time you could be this type figure for women and get laid all day but as it turns out you are not that kind of man, which is what she found out when you responded by shutting her down. Whoops! I bet she fell hard on that.”

He stared.

“Well here is the thing: If she was thinking anything that was at all based in reality she’d have never done this. Because like you say, she knows you. She knows you plenty well enough to know you would never go for this kind of game or this kind of deal. Anyone who knows you even a little would know this and she knows you a lot so obviously she was out of her mind. Apparently she was writhing around about you and it just went too far.”

“She ruined the friendship,” he said.

“Yes, she did. And now she feels worse than ever I am sure. And still horny too! She didn’t even get laid so obviously this did not work out for her at all.”

“I feel sorry for her.”

“So do I. But I feel sorry for you and I as well,” I said.

“Why?”

“Because people are always trying to do things with us when it’s not us they want to do the thing with. Not us as human beings that is. I am just telling you I caught onto this years ago. I had to. I really had no choice and these days I make sure the people I deal with are dealing with me, a human being, my name is Elsa P. And the rest of them can take their jungle fever elsewhere.”

“Jungle Fever?”

“It’s a Spike Lee movie about being attracted to taboo. An Italian gal… she has this fantasy about a black man and they have an affair. You can see the movie. It’s funny, it’s hot. It’s stimulating and it’s also true. People are attracted to anything taboo. They just are whether they are conscious of it or not. And they are often mad as hell about too, and you? Well you’re taboo walkin’ to the uninitiated which in your case is basically everyone.”

Have you ever been desired for your (perceived) undesirability? On the flip have you ever found yourself attracted for the simple fact you’re not supposed to be attracted?