As I think about doing this show, a few things come to mind. Riding a motorcycle for one. The first bike I ever rode was a dirt bike, I was 13. I worked at a Taco place and had saved my money… I bought this bike for $60.

I had no idea how to ride it. The guy who sold it to me showed me how the gas was on the handle or whatever and as soon as he was out of sight, I started that thing and took off. I was in the desert and wearing a tank top.

Well I don’t know what happened. I am sure I opened the throttle full blast, but I went flying over the handle bars, landed in the dirt and slid, pulling my top down in the process and scraping my breasts… especially one of them.

One of them was pretty tore but so? I looked around (to make sure no one saw that because I have Capricorn and it was embarrassing), then pulled my shirt up planning to worry about the blood later and got back on the bike.

Ten minutes later I was ripping through the desert and the rest is history.

Two years later, I was 15 and I decided I was going to tend bar. My exact thought was, “Rum and Coke. How hard can it be?”

Hired by the first bar I walked into, three hours later I was working the night shift, telling jokes with my co-bartender, a 400 pound Pisces with severe astigmatism and again, the rest is history.

Now I am going to do this show and I have no idea how other than I’m just going to do it. There will likely be some blood and follies but I can’t see how that matters can you?

Are you prone to take flying leaps off cliffs? Where is your Jupiter?

pictured… yeah, thats’ me jumping off a cliff.

“Did you even get coffee this morning?” I asked the soldier.

“Yeah, I got some coffee but it was garlic coffee.”

“Garlic coffee?”

“Yeah. I dumped what I thought was creamer into my coffee but turns out it was garlic.”

“Oh my God. You drank it?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m lucky, lucky, lucky!” he said. He’s been chanting this all week after one thing after another befalls him. ‘Yep, I’m lucky all right. Must be that Mercury is flying.”

“Retrograde,” I said. “Mercury is retrograde.”

“Yeah. Mercury is flyin’ all right. But that coffee wasn’t that bad. Garlicky but not bad,” he said.

~~
“Yeah, well they say that about us in Special Forces. They say we’ll eat anything and it’s pretty much true. We will.”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah. What choice do we have. It’s not like you can pack enough food on one of these missions. It’s not like you can bring a suitcase. So we learn to live on what’s there. We learn about plant life. We learn about which bugs you can eat. Which are good for you. Which you probably shouldn’t eat… unless you have to. If you have to, you have to.”

I laughed.

“Well people may not eat this stuff all the time but that doesn’t mean it tastes bad. And that doesn’t mean it’s not nutritious either.”

“Hmm. Okay. So you’re telling me you crawled through the jungle on your belly for umpteenth miles, eating bugs?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I did. And I loved doing it too. I love to sneak up on people and surprise them. They aren’t expecting me at all. They think they are going to be able to keep doing what they’re doing but they’re not once I get there.”

Well I’m excited! I am going to have a live show here pretty quick. TV, on the internet, this is, except it will be interactive! Which means I’ll be able to talk to you and you to me.

We can talk about anything we want. You will also be able to each other (live) and eventually I will be able to bring some of the characters I have written about for years and you can talk to them as well.

For example today and last night there has been talk of the soldier in the comments. I have gotten email as well, so how about he comes on and you guys ask him questions directly, hmm? He would never get on camera, however I am pretty sure he would sit next to me off-camera and answer your questions with his TWANG! He loves to provoke, right? And he has Venus in Gemini you know. He is positively glib.

And cf can come on. Get her going and there is nothing like it in the world. And what about quirky Albert? You guys want to meet him? Well you’re going to be able to.

I have no idea exactly how this is going to work, but with a little luck we’re going to have a super quirky fun and funny show… pure entertainment but with depth and the substance and totally ad-libbed!

So today, I am pretty sure I am going to get to see how this works and from what I gather we should be up and running very soon. So what should I call this? ElsaElsa - The Astrology Show? What do you guys think?

The Moon is full in Capricorn. Venus is conjunct Saturn. Do what you have to do.

Oh! And it’s another opportunity to define (Saturn) your creative self (Leo). With Venus involved, ask yourself this:

How can I aspire to be appealing… and therefore attractive?

“Yeah, it’ll be nice in the desert, P,” the soldier said. We can get out there and build ourselves some machine gun nests.”

“Some what?”

“Machine gun nests. Nests to hide your machine gun,” he explained.

I was pretty sure he was kidding but you never know.

“I don’t have a machine gun so I won’t be building a nest of any kind. No. You’re going to be on you own if you want to do that. I’ll fix you lunch though,” I said. “You can come in from the sun and have some lunch if you want. It’s up to you.”

“Now that sounds great.”

“And maybe some Sangria in the evening,” I said. “Why not? Sangria in the desert, I’d like some.”

“That does sound good. Because the field of fire in the desert is incredible, P. It’s hard not to exploit it.”

“Fields of Fire? Some people think Field Of Dreams, do you know that?”

“Yeah, I do know that. But they don’t know what they’re missin’.”

iPhone Mania

Sharita writes:

“You might just want to wait until we see just how operable this new communications product really is. After all, you are all in awareness that it is currently a Mercury Retrograde period, so one can be sure there are some wrinkles in this product to be ironed out first. Now why would one want to initiate a new communication contract under such an astrological transit?”

Read the rest…

I was talking to the soldier…

“By the way,” I said. “I have been thinking about something.”

He was working on something and turned to look at me. ‘What’s that?”

“Well you’re all the time threatening to kill people. Do you know that? At least once a day you threaten to kill someone but more like about three or four times on average,” I said with both a stare and a smile.

“Yeah and I think it a lot more than that,” he said.

“Not surprised. So I decided I should try to figure out if you might actually do it. You threaten this constantly but do you mean it? Might you do it, or are you just blowing off steam?” Continue reading Mercury in Aries vs Mercury in Libra (With Mars Involved): What Are The Odds Someone Gets Killed?

All this book talk is disturbing me! It figures with the Moon in Sagittarius (publishing) in uncomfortable aspect with the outer planets.

But Sagittarius is about your beliefs. The Moon in Sadge would indicate beliefs that are personal and conjunct Pluto, make that your “deeply held” beliefs.

Factor in the aspect to Uranus and perhaps those deeply held beliefs are eccentric, but so?

The fact is I do not believe in pushing the publication of my book. I just don’t! Continue reading Publishing My Book and Today’s Disturbing Jupiter Moon Pluto Conjunction In Sagittarius

The Moon is in Sagittarius today and smushed between Jupiter and Pluto which will form a conjunction with the Galactic Center in December, 2007. If you have planets at the later degrees of the Mutable signs you are probably pretty twitchy today, especially with Uranus in aspect to the Moon as well.

You might say these are exciting times except the Moon (the tummy) does not really like to be excited, does it?

On other fronts, astrologer, Misty Kuceris wrote about today’s release of the iPhone. She feels this is a lousy day for a launch with Mercury, Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto retrograde along with the Moon void-of-course and the Venus Saturn tango with Neptune. Can’t say I disagree. I guess time will tell.

Dear Nineteen,

Yes, I can help. I think love feels different for each of us and your chart gives clues. In your case, you have Venus (love) conjunct Neptune (fantasy, divine discontent) in Capricorn (reality, delay, deprivation)… and there are a number of ways this can manifest.

For example, your crushes on famous people are one scenario. You imagine (Neptune) relationship (Venus) with celebrities who you cannot access in real life (Capricorn).

Your other situation is the same. You imagine (Neptune) that you love (Venus) someone but wonder if it is real (Capricorn). Or perhaps you fear (Capricorn) that it is not real (Neptune) and that love (Venus) is just a figment of your imagination (Neptune).

At 19 years old, you are getting to know yourself and your love nature and as far as I am concerned you should keep doing exactly what you are doing. And though there are an endless number of ways a combination in a person’s chart can play, I can give you an idea of some possible mature versions of your kind of love.

A lasting (Capricorn) transcendent (Neptune) love.
A real (Capricorn) fantasy (Neptune) relationship.
Sacrifice (Neptune) for real (Capricorn) love.
Taking responsibility (Capricorn) for your tendency to romanticize and pine (Neptune) for love that does not exist on this plane.

It is an extremely creative aspect and oh yeah… the guy! Of course you love him. But be aware you can love pretty much anyone you project onto. This is your gift and your curse.

Good luck.

~~
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