This is how a Cardinal Grand Cross acts in synastry… with Saturn involved. Control and do the right thing… for good or ill.

“Well I wouldn’t have done that! I would not have gotten violent if you told me people were saying things like that to you.”

“No?”

“No! I’d have gone and talked to them, though. I’d have let them know how I felt about you. P, I didn’t have any kind of ulterior motive with you. I loved you, and that was all. So yeah. I’d have gone down there and told those people to knock it off. Quit giving you a hard time about being in love with me. And I’d have convinced them… I’d have tried to convince them that I was sincerely in love you.”

“Really? That’s what you’d have done?”

“Well yeah! What do you think I’m going to do? Go in there and kill people?” He laughed.

“I had no idea. I figured you wouldn’t be too happy, that’s for sure. And this was my job. These people… they were my customers. I needed them. It was my job, that’s all I can say.”

“Well I wouldn’t have been happy, I admit. But just think about it, P. Think about how I was raised. Where I come from if you want to marry a girl, or if you want to go out with a girl, you go talk to her father! That’s what you do. And if you won’t do that, then there is no girl for you! You don’t get a girl unless you talk to her father! You better go talk to him and you better let him know… you have to let him know, and promise him that you are not going to mess her up. You’re not going to mess with her head… mess with her heart or any of that crap.”

“I see.”

“So I wanted to be with you and I wanted to marry you. And if I am going to do that, I’m going to want the blessing of everyone in your life. And I’m not going to that… get their blessing, by beating them up. I am going to get their blessing by talking to them, right?”

“Right.”

“So if I have to talk to 100 people… if you have 100 fathers, or people who think that they are your father, then I am going to talk to every single one of them. All of them! However many there are, I would make it my business to go see them, in person, and face to face. Like a man! I am a man, P.”

“True. I know that.”

“So if I knew this was going on… that you had all these people who were worried about you, I would have visited each of them and asked them for the right and permission to be with you. I would have asked if I could be your boyfriend. If that would be all right with them. And later asked I’d have asked them if I could be your husband.”

“Uh huh.”

“Yes! I would sit down with each of them one by one. Or all at once or however they wanted it done, or you wanted it done and I’d have told them how I felt about you and what my intentions were. I would have told them I was treating you right and I was going to continue to treat you right and I’d have sworn to all of this on a stack of bibles with no question or qualm about it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes! I’d have done this without question because this is how I felt and this is how I was raised. I don’t know any other way. This is the only way I know how to handle circumstances like this. This is how things are… how they are supposed to be done.”

“I see.”

“And then after I did all that. After I’d talked to everybody and told them where my heart was, and if we were in love and I wanted to be with you and you wanted to be with me…”

“Yeah?”

“Well if after all that, if they still wanted to give you… to give us a hard time? Well, okay. Then I might have to go kick someone’s ass. I might have to knock some people’s heads together. I might have gotten pissed. Because you know what I think, P?”

“What?”

“I think when two people are in love you ought to support them. You ought to help them be in love not the other way around. Not hurt them. Or if you’re not going to help them, at least get out of their way. They’re in love! Leave ‘em alone. Life is hard enough. Two people love each other, I think everyone in the world should support them.”

“I agree. It makes sense.”

“Yeah, it makes sense. And yeah, I admit it. I might have gotten violent. But only as a last resort. And only if people wanted to talk shit about me and give you a hard time after all of this… after everything in the world had been done to show them that I was sincere.”

“I see.”

“And that we were sincere! After we had both told them together and separately that we wanted to be together and if they still wanted to interfere, I can see there could come a point I might have lost my temper. So, I guess you’re right.”

“Yeah.”

“And knowing me… and knowing you… this probably would have happened. I don’t know what it is about us, P, but we both draw fire like crazy. Especially me, but you too. You draw plenty of fire on your own. You’re no stranger to being fired upon. It’s like people just want to have a go at either one of us, or both of us, or at me or at you or they just want to come at us in any way they can.”

“That’s true.”

“So yeah. I bet someone would have been stubborn. I just betcha. I bet that after all of that and in spite of the fact that we obviously loved each other… we were deeply in love with each other and we suited each other completely, you know. But still. After all that and knowing all that, I bet there would have been some son of a bitch would have wanted to challenge me. He’d have wanted to stand in our way… he’d have wanted to get between you and me, stand between people who love each other, and you’re right. I’d have moved that motherfucker for sure. And probably not been very nice about it, you’re right. I’d have hurt him. He’d have gotten hurt.”

I didn’t say anything.

“And you wouldn’t have liked that, right P?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“I know. You don’t want me hitting anyone. Well I’d have done it when you weren’t around.”

I didn’t say anything.

“And I wouldn’t have done it at or around your job. P. I’d have tried to be considerate but you’re right. I would not have let someone do that… treat us like that over the long term. I’d have tried to resolve it…”

I didn’t say anything.

“But you already know all this, don’t you? You knew this is what would happen if you told me. You knew someone would have gotten hurt? I’d have had to punch someone? Messed someone up for being a dick?”

“Yes.”

“Well then that’s why you didn’t tell me,” he said resignedly. “Now I see. You’re not going to do anything that is going to result in someone getting hurt. Even if they deserve it. Even if they have it coming because they are a total trouble-making jackass.”

“Right. I don’t want someone getting hit on my account. I could never…. I don’t want to be a conduit… I don’t want to be the cause of anyone getting hit. Or having their jaw broken or any other kind of thing.”

“I know. I know this about you, P.”

“So consequently, I kept my mouth shut and just tried to deal with it the best I could.”

He just sighed.

skip to “The Art History Professor”

What would you have done if you were me?