Dear Elsa,

I am afraid of my boyfriend getting tired of me and leaving. Before I would always initiate the break up, because I felt like we were both unhappy. We would fight and I would always resort to breaking up, and he’d always tell me not to.

Then one day, he had this strange look on his face and I asked him what was bothering him. He said that he thinks that we are not the same couple that we used to be. We had been dating for a year and a half. He said that he feels like he’s unfair to me, because he used to be jealous and he would have horrible anger issues (he never hit me or abused me in any way).

I feel like I have lost him. I live in his home and as I was packing my clothes up, he did not once try to stop me. We both cried and cried, and he asked why are we so hurt if we love each other so much. I felt like he was giving up on our love. He would always convince me that our relationship is strong and we would get through our little fights. But this time, it seemed as though he was letting me go.

Right now we are fine. But I can’t let this jittery feeling go. I feel like he’s just trying to be happy with me instead of just leaving me, like he wanted to do in the first place. I always told him that he can express his feelings, and once he did, I felt as if I was punishing him and putting him in a corner. But he was going to leave me if I hadn’t made the decision to stop packing my clothes.

He also works with this female coworker who just broke up with her boyfriend. I’m scared that he and her will end up together since they both confide in each other about their problems. I am so scared. I feel like each day he might just tell me that he doesn’t want to be with me. I feel so sad. I know that I took him for granted. He was a good guy but I was a needy person. Now, I know that I regret things that I’ve done. It’s so sad to know that he was a wonderful person, and I was just selfish. I always thought that he would be there for me, but then the other day, I guess it struck me. He was willing to let me go because he felt as if we were both not happy. Please help.

Girlfriend
United States