Dear Scared,

No, I don’t think people randomly turn gay. I think sexuality falls on a continuum, pure heterosexual on one end, pure homosexual on the other and everyone including you falls somewhere in between. So I don’t think this is so much about where you fall in that range, as it is about your fear over where you fall in that range.

Fear is Saturn-ruled and the antidote for Saturn is Jupiter. So I think this would be best addressed by facing your fear (Saturn) and the best way to do that is to expand or adopt a new perspective (Jupiter). So how about I give you one of those and hopefully you can hitchhike on some of my ideas and this will ease for you in some way.

Now as far as I am concerned, a person’s sexuality is about as important as their hair color and in the grand scheme of things… do we care if a person has blonde hair or brown? It is the quality of person that counts, not the color of their hair or their sexual preference. When the house sells next door, what I want is a “good neighbor”. I want a kind, considerate person to buy that house and I don’t care who they sleep with. I also don’t care what color hair they have. Can you see the logic of this? Can you see how sane this is?

Now here’s where you make a leap. If your neighbor’s sexuality is irrelevant to the quality of person they are, why would your situation be any different?

And what if your neighbor (a woman) decided to sleep with a man one night and a woman the next, but she’s a great neighbor? What if she feeds and walks your dog when you go on vacation. What if she brings you soup when you’re sick and you just in general, like her? Considering this, how much time do you think you should spend trying to figure out if she’s a LESBIAN? I mean, who cares!

And here’s the point, in case it’s not obvious. Right now you think if you’re a lesbian, this means the sky is going to fall. But in reality it’s a non-event. It is your FEAR that is causing all the grief. So how about you just face it head on?

I have no idea if you are a lesbian - but if you are, then what is going to happen? Nothing is going to happen that you do not allow and consent to. There may be people out there who devalue homosexuals but guess what? I am a heterosexual and I am “devalued” every day of my life! People have all kinds of trouble with me but it’s only relevant if I make it relevant and I don’t make it relevant.

I figure anyone who doesn’t want a good neighbor because of their hair color or their sexuality is a stone cold idiot, so this is one thing this crisis could do for you. You may delve into this lesbian thing, and find out you’re in fact heterosexual but also find out it doesn’t matter. Because you know what? It doesn’t matter. Just be a person you’re proud to be and the rest will fall into place.

Good luck.

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