I don’t know where to start when it comes to the astrology in this. Our personalities are so apparent. It just seems there is no question who these people are even though we were both teenagers.

So after that, I healed,” I said. “I just slowly healed and eventually I met another man who I loved very much. So it was slow and it was awful but I did get over you and never told anyone anything. As a matter of fact I pretty much never talked about you for the rest of my life.”

“Well I sure talked about you.”

“Yeah, well I used to say I knew some dashing guy from you know where, once in awhile. I would say that much, but talk about it? No. Because look at the story here. I knew some dashing guy… we had all this sizzle but then he found someone he liked better than me.”

“I never like anyone better than you.”

“I didn’t know that. I just assumed you were enormously happy. I thought you found someone phenomenal and I never thought I was much, anyway. So get a load of this story. He found someone he liked better than me and he married her. Then they had a baby and soon after he was killed. What kind of story is that? Does that sound like the kind of story something I need to bother people with? That’s not a story, that’s an abortion. There is nothing good there. I’m not with you and you’re dead. Sounds to me like something you don’t burden people with.”

“You didn’t think I’d make it in Special Forces?”

“Oh no. I thought you’d make it. I pretty much knew you’d make it, you wouldn’t have it go any other way, which was part of the problem. I thought you’d make it and then you’d get killed.”

“Oh.”

“To me, the fact you would get killed in Special Forces was a certainty. It never occurred to me you would survive. I seriously never considered this could ever happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because you take risks and there was nothing in this world you wouldn’t do. So I figured you would just go out and out and out and out to the edge until you went too far one day and that’d be it. You’d be dead. I didn’t think it would take long either. But there was nothing I was going to say or do about it. It’s against my beliefs. You have to live your life and this is what you wanted, there was never a question. If there were a question, I’d have tried to talk you out of it for sure. I’d have begged and pleaded and implored.”

“There was never a question.”

“I know. So as far as I was concerned, when you went off, you went off to die. And this other women… the gal you married? Wells she was going to get to be your widow and I have to say, I didn’t envy that.”

“You didn’t want to be a widow, P?”

“No, hell no. Absolutely not. I know some of the women who hook up with Special Forces men, I assume… well, I am pretty sure they probably get some kind if status or vicarious thing off what their men do.”

“Yeah, some of them do. A lot of them do actually.”

“Well you know I’m not like that. I was a live husband! I don’t want to be married to someone who gets shot in the head. I don’t want anyone pulling up in front of my house to tell me my husband is dead.”

“Yeah, that happens and it happens a lot.”

“I figured. So I want low odds of that. It’s not my thrill that my husband is out almost getting killed each day. Which is exactly what I thought would happen to you. In fact I don’t think I even spent one second considering the possibility you would survive. I just figured you would go, go, go until you were killed and actually this is pretty much what you did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well what did you put in? 16 years? That’s a hell of a lot of time to be in Special Forces. I can’t imagine how many people have tried to kill you over the years.”

“Lots of them.”

“No doubt. So why didn’t one of them succeed?”

“Don’t know.”

“Me neither. But apparently it’s spectacularly hard to kill you.”

“I guess.”

“And I’m glad, but did I ever think it could turn out like this? Absolutely not.”

“What’d you think? I’d get killed on my first mission or something?”

“Yeah. Sorry, but yeah, I did think that. Or that you would come back someone I didn’t recognize, and then get killed on your second mission. You get the idea. I thought you would get in, die and I was supposed to just stand there and witness it. No one, including you ever told me it was possible to survive.”

“Well I did survive, P.”

“Yes, and it’s surprising isn’t it? I don’t think this could have been anticipated.”

“Nope, probably not.”

skip to “Faith-Based Leaky Holograms…”

Have you ever made a life decision based on missing or incomplete information and found about it?