“So tell me about this life you had that I didn’t know about,” he said. “What life was that? Because I remember us being very close and nothing but.”

“Well that’s true. But you were gone 2 days out of every 3. So on the day you were around, we were happy as hell and inseparable. But then you’d go to work and I would go back to my other life that I never could manage to introduce you to.”

“What other life? What life? What were you doing?”

“Well there is more than one thing. Pretty much everything about me… everything I was doing was kept from you.”

“Give me an example.”

“Okay, well you just read (in my book) about one of them. And you should understand this is the tip of the iceberg but if you can stop and think about this, you’ll start to get an idea.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, so one of the things I was doing is suing my boss for sexual harassment. And this was a big deal. I was making history when I did that. Do you realize? I was a teenager and I orchestrated this huge lawsuit. I was 17 years old! How many 17 year olds do you think… anyway, just think about it. I have this scum boss. And he is so bad I am driven to this. I have to put this whole thing together with all these women just to try to get him to leave me alone. And I’m a kid for chrissakes.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about that.”

“I did tell you. I tried to.”

“What did you tell me?”

“Well you know me. I am sure I talked in code. This would have been before the lawsuit. You know. The time leading up to it when this guy is really on me. So do I tell you or what? No telling what you’ll do. Go to my job and kick his ass? Who knows? And you realize there was no such thing as “sexual harassment” back then. The term barely existed. The concept was way out there at the time. It was cutting edge. Would you understand it? But anyway, that aside I did tell you and you did not go kick his ass.”

“What did I do?”

“Oh, I sort of put it out there like tossing a softball. My boss is bothering me. He talks about my ass.”

“What did I say?”

“You said what 99.9% of men would have said in the era. You said, yeah your ass is nice.” I sighed. “So right then, I’m not going to say anymore. Because fact is this guy was killing me. I felt like I was boiling alive and if I could have managed to communicate this to you… if I’d have started crying or something and you saw how badly I was being hurt and impacted… well then the opposite reaction.”

“What? Did you think I’d go kill him?”

“I thought you might. I mean, it occurred to me. If I really let loose and you saw me sobbing, I have no idea what you would have done. I am sure you’d have done something, that’s for sure. And do I want to be responsible for that? It’s not like I could have stopped you. So in a way your reaction was a relief. Oh, well he thinks this is okay. And I wasn’t mad at you. Everybody thought this was okay back then! This was decade before Anita Hill. She’s the one who put sexual harassment on the map. So believe me, you were not alone with your attitude. So when I saw your reaction… well I just decided I would figure it out my own way. Because I wouldn’t have wanted to argue this with you either. You know. Have you tell me it was not a big deal like the rest of the world, when I knew for a fact it was killing me.

“I’m sorry, P.”

“It’s okay. This was my destiny. But that’s another thing that always pissed me off by the way.”

“What’s that?”

“Oh, you were always going on about your destiny, your destiny. Special Forces, it’s your destiny! And here I am 17 years old and setting precedent the way I did. I put the whole thing together, single-handedly without you even knowing it, and I was thinking, you bastard, I think I may have a destiny of my own!”

He laughed.

Do you feel your life destined?

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