“Well I sure was glad when you wrote me back! I was pacing. I was worried out of my mind about you. Don’t die, P! Please don’t die!”

We both laughed.

“Because the whole time I was trying to figure out what to do… I was trying to decide it I should write you or just wait and see if you would post, and not be dead, I was beating myself up. What’s the matter with you? P’s over there dying and look at you. What are you doing to stop it? Nothing! You’re pacing around the living room. You’re going to the store. You’re going to work. You’re smoking a cigarette for Godsakes and meantime, P is dying. She could be going right down the drain this very instant and if she does… well who’s fault is that going to be? It’s going to be yours! You know you could save her so what are you doing? What aren’t you… what the hell is the matter with you? Why aren’t you saving, P?” he wailed.

“Oh brother. I am so sorry.”

“And then I’d think, oh stop it. She’s okay. P’s always okay. P is not going to die you dumbass. She has friends. And surely they are there. Surely someone is there. I am sure at least someone will reach out to her. Her friends aren’t going to let her die! There’s no way that’s going to happen so you just calm down and you stay out of this. P has friends and you’re not one of them. Not anymore!”

I winced. Can you tell he has Saturn on his Mars?

“Okay, enough. This makes me feel bad. I’m sorry. I’m not dying. And I’m glad you wrote and you know you could have written anytime. At no time in the entire 3 years would I have been sorry to hear from you, although I do think it might have jacked me up, some.”

“Well that’s what I thought so I didn’t do it.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now can we just stay in touch this time? What do you think? Think we can manage, P?”

“I don’t know. It seems we should be able to do whatever we want.”

“In theory, that’s true. But I’ve been thinking about this and I think you and I are like hot wires. We juggle them, these hot wires fly all over the place. And everything is fine, as long as none of them touches the ground. Because when one does…”

“I see. This is what you think?” I hesitated.

“That’s what I think,” he said with even more twang than usual which told me this was definitive.

‘Well I have no idea what I think,” I said. “I just don’t know. Because you’ve been thinking and as usual, I have not been thinking. So I guess I’m glad you figure this stuff out. Hot wires, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well that sounds right.” I was thinking we both have Mercury in aspect to Mars and it seemed right. “And you want to not let any wire touch the ground?”

“Right. Yes.”

“Okay, then we’ll try that. And it shouldn’t be that hard. If we know they’re hot, we’ll just make sure nothing touches…”

“Oh they’re definitely hot,” he said, interrupting me. “They’re hotter than hell. They’re hot like an inferno, P, you know they are, P.”

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about this I said. But I’m going to take your word for it because you have and I know you can think, so you’re probably right. And I understand what a hot wire is and doubt I would drop one if I knew it was charged.”

“I’m pretty sure I can too.”

“Okay we’re in.”

He sighed. “What a relief.”

skip to part 7 - Past Lives… Future Lives?

Do you beat yourself up like this? Where is your Saturn?

And do you have a pal or an acquaintance where the situation is always highly charged? How do you deal with it?