The comments on the Ugly Pants Fun blog asking what you bring to other people’s lives were freakishly interesting to me. What we offer others is so incredibly unique to each individual.

And I was talking to Denis last night about a third person who I like quite a bit. He doesn’t like the person so much and we wound up defining what it is we want from relationship and finding our requirements are wildly different.

Denis likes things to roll easy. He’s smart and personable. Denis from Cameroon is very upbeat and energetic and he likes people who are pretty much similar. I on the other hand like a little brood in my life.

I also like an edge and a curiosity. I like ups and downs and curves… I even hairpin curves in relationship. And I explained to Denis, I valued these outer edge things so highly there was no question I was going to continue to try to invest and forge a relationship with this person I’ve met who is so challenging.

“It’s worth it to me,” I said. “Or it could be. Do you know my editor, HQ? We’re good friends now but boy it sure wasn’t easy getting there. I thought we’d kill each other for sure. We spent probably a year getting bloodied, just trying to learn how to deal with each other. Believe me, he drove me right up a wall. He drove me out of my mind and it’s not like he had it any easier. In fact, he had it much worse, I think. He’s Japanese, you know. He’s polite. And you know… I was constantly swearing and he just didn’t know what to do.”

Denis laughed.

“Yeah, it’s funny now. But he told me… well, you know. He’s got one heck of a position and he can talk to anyone. But he told me when we first met he had to take like 20 minutes to center and brace himself so he could call me. He had to get his nerve up if you can believe that. Meanwhile, I’d get off the phone with him and I would be just crazed. I would want to bang my head against the wall and not even especially know why.”

“But you muscled through it?” he asked.

“Yeah. And it was worth it, by far. So I’m just saying if you want to know some of these weirdoes… super creative people, artists, eccentrics or whatever they are. Well sometimes you just have to hang in until you can see for sure what is going on. And this is how I feel about this guy,” I said. “I am going to try very hard to forge a relationship with him. And I think he will probably do the same because there is something to glean in both directions, I’m pretty sure. But I can also see why you’d take one look at this and run for the hills.”

“Uh huh.”

And why? Do you have a philosophy when it comes to relationship?