When I met the soldier he was 19 and already spoke four or five languages. I am pretty sure at this point he can communicate with anyone in the world, because this is one of the things they teach in Special Forces.

It’s imperative you can communicate the with the locals wherever it is they’re going to send you, so you go to language school when necessary before leaving on a mission. Plus they pay you extra for every language you can speak so he would be inclined to accept missions where language school was required and he stayed in it so long… well at this point, he is pretty much fluent, period.

And he’s taking training right now for a new job. And there is a guy in the class with him who doesn’t speak English very well. The class lasts all day… it’s been going on for about 8 days and these two got caught in the elevator together yesterday.

“He started cussing me in Spanish,” the soldier explained. “He said, why won’t you talk to me in Spanish, you prick. I know you speak it.”

I laughed. I could just picture this and I know the soldier. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him why don’t you learn to speak English! You’re not doing yourself any favors hanging on to that stuff. Where do you think it’s going to get you. And how did you know I spoke Spanish anyway?” he said.

“How did he know?” The soldier looks ethnic but very hard to judge his origin. He is supremely mixed.

“Oh, he said he asked some question in the class. He was trying to ask a question in half Spanish, half English. No one could understand him. And he said I answered it for him.”

I smiled. He can be a jerk, but he does not lack compassion. Eas for me to see how he could have helped the guy subconsciously. “Okay, so you helped him out.”

“Well yeah, I guess.” He talks with a distinct twang. “I wasn’t paying attention but this is what he said. He knew I could speak Spanish because I could understand what he was asking and no one else could.”

“What else?”

“Well I just told him, look. You’re going to have to learn English. Where do you think you are? You’re living here now. This is the South. Nobody speaks Spanish around here, have you noticed? How far to do you think you’re going to get? I told him, I know it’s hard. My father came here and he didn’t speak one word of English. They made him come through the colored door… you know. This is the South and they had that back then. And I came through the colored door too, though I had no idea what it meant. I was like… five. But I told him, hell. I know it isn’t easy, but this is what you’re going to have to do.”

“Yeah. Well it’s probably good… it’s nice you’re explaining this to him.”

“Yeah well it’s not easy. I know that. I know it’s hard. My father explained it to me. He said, people are going to call you things. They are going to call you an asshole. They’re going to call you a bastard. They’re going to call you everything under the sun. And they did. They called me all sorts of things. Everything you can think of, I’ve been called it.”

“Yeah.”

“So I told him, you just have to forget about that and you have to learn English. Want to know the best way to learn English? I’ll tell you. Go get yourself some comic books. You like comics? Read those. They have all the current phrases in them. If you can speak what’s in a comic book, you can communicate with 90% of the people here,” he said. “You can go to a regimented English class if you want. That’s fine. But if you’ll just get some comic books… you know. The pictures will help you out and you will be able to get by around here.”

“Okay, so you helped him out. That’s good. You’re not such a prick as everyone thinks,” I said.

“I’m not a prick at all. They’re the jerks. Other people are jerks. I’m a nice guy,” he said.

We were on the phone, but I could imagine his smirk.

“Hell, you know I’m nice, Els. I’m very nice. Just don’t go telling me how hard it is, like I don’t know anything about that. And don’t tell me what I ought to be doing for you. I’ve done plenty for you already, believe me. What am I supposed to do. Follow him around the rest of his life and speak English for him? I think he ought just leave me alone and go do something for himself. And after he’s done that, then he can come ask me to help him and I may just think about it. But until then… I don’t want to hear it!”

Do you help others, or only those who help themselves?