“I wouldn’t marry you, right?”

“No. You said no.”

“I did. And I gave you no explanation whatsoever. I didn’t say no, you’re too ugly. Or no, I don’t love you. I didn’t say no, I don’t want to marry you because I want to marry someone else.”

“No, you just said no, man. No. That was all you said.”

“Unbelievable. And you didn’t ask me why?”

“No. I asked you if you wanted to get married, you said no and I figured I had to accept it. So after that I left and went and did what any normal man would do.”

“What’s that?”

“I got drunk and fell asleep in a bathtub.”

“Oh.”

“What else am I going to do? I was distraught. I had a bad night, P. My friends still talk about it. To this day, they bring that up. They all know about Elsa P, that’s for sure. My family too. They were there. They all saw the whole thing. Me crying in my beer because you won’t marry me.”

I laughed. ‘What did they say?’

“Well they felt sorry for me, I’m sure. Poor soldier. But they also thought it was funny. I mean they know me as well as you do. They know I’m a pain in the ass. They know how arrogant I am. You aren’t telling them anything new. And I’m sure they thought it was somewhat funny to have some girl kick my ass like that. They must have. Because after that they all wanted to meet you. In fact they insisted upon meeting you and they wouldn’t take no for an answer. Some family I’ve got, huh?”

How do you handle rejection?

skip to - Astrology, Fame… Nosy People

“And then you want to get married. Well golly gee. I would love to marry you, but how’s that supposed to work, when I can’t talk to you?” I asked.

“I don’t know, P. I just wish you could have found a way. I wish I’d have listened to you more or something.”

“Well don’t worry. Water under the bridge. And I still had a fine time with you, as you know. We had all kinds of fun. We had a blast, but just don’t think we can get married because we can’t. There was no way.”

“See, that’s what I don’t understand. Why couldn’t we have gotten married? We were in love! All this stuff… we could have worked it out, P. Whatever it was, we could have been dealt with it. I was in love with you and you loved me too. I know you did. And I’d have done anything for you. I’d have done anything so I could be with you and have you for a wife. For my wife.” Continue reading The Soldier and P - Part 11: Goin’ To The Cathedral And They’re Going To Get Married… Venus Neptune Strikes!

As for people thinking I’m not real, this is my sister on the subject. This dialogue is real, circa 1994. She is talking about men (in general) that I date.

“Well no one thinks you are real, Elsa. You tell them exactly who you are but they don’t believe you.”

“Why? Why is that?”

“I don’t know exactly. Because in this case, these men are right there in the room with you. You sleep with them and stuff so I don’t know how they don’t know, but I do know that none of my friends think you are real. You know. I talk about you and most of them don’t think you exist.” Continue reading Saturn and Neptune Mashed Up In Your Chart? Reality Is A Hologram - This is Hard-Wired

Dear Husband,

I feel bad for you and can’t imagine a stickier problem. Because although I think your wife has utter rights to do (or not do) whatever she wants with her body, the consequences for you are so painful it made me wince to read this. And I sure don’t have a trick to make this go away, but perhaps I can offer some reinforcement and encouragement.

You have love and that’s the main thing. And all kinds of things can happen when the love is there, so this is the first thing I would say. Just keep loving her. It sounds like this is easy for you and outside of that, since you aren’t a woman and I am, let me tell you that eating disorders are about controlling the body.

And I know you know this but what you don’t know is how incredibly out of control your body is when it is pregnant. Point being, I think your wife’s fear is justified. If she gets pregnant, the odds she is going to wig are sky high. It will be dangerous for her, so I wouldn’t try it without proper support in place. Just as if she had any other issue… if she were diabetic or whatever, some women need extra monitoring when they have a baby and she would be one of them.

Now on the odds of her ever becoming agreeable to becoming pregnant, I don’t know. I appreciate the situation with the money, and also your willingness to look into this kind of workaround… but I think the universe has put this out of reach for a very good reason. Your wife is ill and this is how that is coming to the front. But obviously you can’t take her to the water and make her drink, so what to do?

Well, I don’t think you have a lot of choices here which is good. Because once you see there is only one path, you’ll just go down it. So let’s see…

You love your wife so dumping her and getting another woman is not an option. Adoption and surrogacy? Not an option.

It must mean you’re supposed to love her until she gets to the point where she wants to heal. And you can facilitate this by being an excellent, caring, sensitive lover and continuing to let her know how important this is to you. I mean don’t go on and on because that would drive anyone nuts. You just have to be as gentle as you can… make sure she knows you love her no matter what she looks like, and beyond that all you can do is let the love work, and hope with time it will. And for yourself?

I would suggest you let go the “before I’m 30″ thing. If this is the woman you love, you may be 35 before you have a baby. Does it really matter? You’re a Pisces. And somewhere inside, you know a baby is only going to come when it is supposed to come. And that goal of yours feels like pressure to her, you know.

Love, love, love and love. There is really nothing else you can do. I hope this works out and I feel that it will.

Good luck.

~~
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Lois Rodden wrote a book, "The Mercury Method Of Chart Comparison". And with most people interested in love and sex (Venus and Mars), Mercury, it’s aspects in the natal chart as well as how it plays in synastry is downplayed, if not completely dismissed. But Rodden understood that relationships could and would rise and fall on the aspect to Mercury alone and this situation vividly illustrates and validates her belief.

“So I have to get this stuff to you but there’s a lot of it and it’s stuck very deep inside me. I can’t tell you how deep and how stuck. Because I have been choking on it for how long? Almost thirty years! You know how hard it is for me to tell you things. I have never been able to tell you the things. What do you think did us in?”

“This. This did us in.” Continue reading The Soldier and P - Part 10: Lois Rodden, Mercury In Synastry and Frustration That Builds

The Soldier has his Saturn (restriction, oppression, control, etc.) in aspect to my Mars Mercury (communication) which makes it enormously difficult if not impossible for me to transfer information about certain things. It’s incredibly frustrating on my end. It’s like the plague.

And you can see the imagery in this. It is like hitting my head against a rock and it’s not even the rock’s fault! There are things I am afraid to tell him (Saturn). There are things that are hard to tell him (Saturn). But I have a responsibility (Saturn) to force (Mars) myself to persevere (Saturn) and communicate (Mercury) with him and the result of this is intense pressure if you are me… Continue reading The Soldier and P - Part 9 - Difficult Communication: Saturn Square Mars Mercury in Synastry

Dear Single,

Your son is not respecting you and I think that fixing this should be your first order of business. Because if he doesn’t respect you, he is not going to respect women in general and he’s going to grow up to be everybody’s problem.

So how about I tell you a few things and then you can tell him? Things about life, this is.

Ten year olds do not run the show. Mothers are people. They are human beings and they want company… they need company besides their kids.

And I don’t care how this makes the kid feel. The kid does not own the parent any more than the parent owns the kid. The parent is responsible for the kid. But this does not mean the parent does not get to kiss someone when she wants to kiss someone, provided the kid has been fed, clothed and reasonably entertained.

Now I really think you can resolve this. You don’t have a wimpy chart! I imagine you’re just tired. The fact is single parenting is incredibly draining and no one who knows anything about it can blame you for wanting to take the path of least resistance. But this is one of those situations you simply must correct. So that’s what I’d do.

Decide there is going to be a new deal in your house, introduce it to your kid and then enforce it. And the new deal is this:

Mom is a human being with rights who does not take orders from ten year olds. You can take away privileges if your son groans when you kiss your boyfriend goodbye, you know. Ask your son if he wants to hear you groan when he grows up and wants to kiss someone. Mutual respect, see? That’s what you want to shoot for.

Good luck.

~~
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I was talking to satori...

“Well no one dead ever visits me,” I said. “I don’t know why. You’d think they would.”

“Yeah.”

“Well they don’t. Take Henry. Everyone thinks he should visit me. He visits them. This is what I hear! People tell me Henry visits all the time, so what am I supposed to make of that?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t either. From what I hear, he’s a visiting fool. So why is my grandfather visiting them but not me? They sure like it, I’ll tell you that. People like Henry. They love him. But he’s never visited me, even once. The person who visits is *Scott’s sister and she has for fifteen years. I know some things about her I didn’t know before she died I’ll say that. She’s very close. She stays very near, so near there is hardly a line between her and I. This is how it seems sometimes because she’s right there. But that’s it. The rest of the dead people I know want nothing to do with me, I guess. I just don’t know….”

I thought about Scott’s sister and her Good Earth tea. Whenever I smell that tea, she’s around. She took me to the Good Earth restaurant when I was 16. This was before there was such a thing as Good Earth tea. Well, the tea existed but you have to go to the restaurant to get it.

Anyway, she bought me some Good Earth tea and then she died and these things are associated to me. Every time I smell the tea… well it’s as if it’s her perfume.

~~
This conversation took place last night. And the Saturn Neptune opposition is pretty much exact right now, where Saturn is the grandfather, Neptune the ethereal. And today I stepped out of the shower at the gym and er… what’s that smell.

It was overwhelming. The smell was just intense and I could not place it. What the hell?

I thought to ignore it because what else is there to do? It’s none of my business what products people use in the shower and in fact I have seen some exotic things in there. But then my eye was drawn to someone’s cosmetic bag hanging outside one of the shower stalls and guess what was sticking out?

A big ol’ bottle of Dr. Bronner’s soap! Can you believe this? That’s the soap Henry (a health nut) used for everything. I smelled that soap my whole life, but not since he died more than 20 years ago. So I guess he’s around, eh? I hope he forgives my grammar.

Do dead people visit you?

People got pretty cranky the last time the idea of “old souls” and levels of evolution came up on the blog here, Old Souls, Lightweights, Blank Slates.

And here, Astrology, Energy, Astro-Twins and Levels Of Evolution.

However I still discuss this with one of my friends who thinks in this paradigm. And the things she has to say seem both accurate and simple when she says them, so I still this this is something she knows.

“I don’t know if you remember,” I said. “But you told me once you thought *this person was more (spiritually) evolved than *this other person.”

“I don’t remember saying it, but I agree with that. I think that’s right.”

“I see. And then I’m somewhere in there. And you think *this person is more spiritually evolved than I am, right?”

“Yes, I do. But you have more answers than he does,” she said.

“I don’t know about that, but I agree on the evolution. Personally I don’t think I am evolved at all. I am nearly completely raw. I mean, I was just on my blog and what am I doing? I’m writing about chasing and craving men and iron,” I laughed. “That’s my big thought for the day. I just want to know one thing. Where is the testosterone and how can I lay my hands on some?”

She laughed.

“Yeah. So I can’t be very far along having thoughts like that. However I am very good at being the person I am. And people who are evolved? I support them. I sustain them even.”

She was listening.

“I think I must be a jester, or something. I am the muse to the King. And where would the court be with no jester? I don’t even want to think about it. I don’t think you can have a court with no jester? How can you?”

“You can’t.”

“Well that’s what I think. So people like me are enormously important. You can’t do without us as far as I can see. Good luck to you, living with no muse. Have fun with that. Try to survive if you can! And I don’t know it this is right or not. But whatever I am, I’m a very pure version. You know. I broadcast loud and clear and I am satisfied being this person.”

Do you have any sense of your place in the scheme of things? Who are you in the big picture?

pictured - Jester With A Lute - c. 1620-25, by Frans Hals (1582/83 - 1666) Louvre, Paris

Dear Dissatisfied,

With 7 placements in the Venus-ruled signs of Taurus or Libra, including the major three, your Sun Moon and Ascendant, you are profoundly focused on relationships. And the better you get at being in them, the happier you’ll be. So this is the tack I am going to take with your post.

First, on your guy here: you have to listen to what your partner is saying and always remember he is not you! He is a separate person who parses things in his own way. And when you refuse to accept and acknowledge this, you are not being a very good partner yourself.

For example, he tells you he feels having a girlfriend is too much responsibility and sure enough he’s got Venus (love) conjunct Saturn (burden / responsibility) in his chart. So this is how relationships feel to him and it’s independent of you. By that I mean he is very likely to feel this way in a relationship with anyone, because it’s his nature.

The same with the fear (Saturn), and the lack of being demonstrative. This is also his nature. He is blocked, see? He is limited and I am sure that your frustration and constant disappointment in him only exasperates the situation.

Because when you are constantly express your dissatisfaction, how do you think that feels to him? I am sure it feels like crap! I am sure it leaves him feeling he is not good enough and it you look from his perspective… well I would come to the same conclusion he has. Having a girlfriend is too much trouble! I mean come on. All they do is complain!

So I would think along these lines. Put less focus on how you are going to coerce a person into the position you want them in. Instead listen to your partner, so you can really understand what it is they want and need. Try to deliver some of that and everyone will be much happier.

Good luck.

~~
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