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Jupiter in Sagittarius - The Asian Women in The Gym
Ask The Collective…
I was telling my coffee date about the Asian women in the gym (18 - 80 years old) who have fascinated me for years. They travel in a pack, coming in early in the morning. They don’t workout that I know of. They just use the steam room.
“I am fascinated with them and have been for a long time,” I said. “And now I finally have the time… I just started having the opportunity to use the steam room and they are just incredible. It’s a real education.”
He was listening.
“For one thing, they rule. My editor is half Asian and he explained they are recreating the baths they enjoyed at home and they certainly are. And it’s very cool. They’ll be ten of them in there and they are all very comfortable with their bodies. For example, no surgery! No breast jobs! They just have their regular bodies, no matter what they are. And they are totally comfortable with them and it’s good to see that. I enjoy it. It makes me feel good. I think it’s the way to be. Love your body.”
He kept listening so I kept talking.
“Anyway, they really take over in there and I try to be respectful. You know. I try to learn from them since they are total pros. They scrub… they exfoliate, they do self massage… they do their whole body and they take their time about it too. It’s a ritual. And further, they scrub each other!”
He was surprised.
“Yeah. They wash each other’s backs and whatever. They take care of each other. It’s very loving. It’s earthy. I like it. And you can see there are certain rules so I try to follow them. Um… like they always clean up after themselves. And the other people do not! And if you think about it, you really ought to clean up. Because what are you going to do? Leave your sweat and your DNA all over the place. It’s gross! So I try to follow their lead. And my editor..”
“Well, you know how around here everyone talks to everyone. All the colors of people, we don’t care. We all mix around here, except the Asians. They keep to themselves. And my editor… my friend HQ said Asian people are very friendly and gracious, but you have to be introduced somehow. Someone has to vouch for you.”
He nodded.
“So anyway, I’ve been going in the steam room for awhile now. And I can’t understand a word they’re saying but I just try to be respectful. I step over them as nicely as I can,” I said, grinning. “Because they sit right on the floor in the showers… scattered all around and scrubbing each other. But anyway, I think they are deciding I am okay. Because the other day I stepped out of the shower and one of them… she reached out and pulled a hair off my back. You know. I have too much hair and it goes all over, so she pulled this hair off my back and showed it to me.”
I smiled and he laughed.
“Right. She wanted me to know what she was up to. Because she was touching me like that and it’s… it was different. It’s not everyday this happens… you get out a shower naked and someone puts their hands on you.”
He nodded. He seemed amused.
“But it was cool. I thanked her. I said, thanks because she was being really sweet. It was a total gesture, and after she did that, she thought a minute and then she decided to introduce herself. I guess this is the thing to do after you’ve touched someone naked,” I said, chuckling. “But anyway, there you go! I’ve cracked the Asian women brigade…er, sort of. It only took about ten years,” I said with a snort.
“They decided to let you in,” he said.
“Yeah, sort of. One of them did, anyway.”
“You’re like that,” he said.
“Huh?” I didn’t know what he meant.
“A person has to work their way… if they want to get near you, or want to know you, they’re going to have to find a way to approach you…”
He sort of put his hands out like he was balancing something off-kilter and he caught me off guard. But a few seconds later I could see he was right. If there was ever an “inner circle” type person, so I decided to concede. You’re right,” I said, thinking out loud. “That is what I do. I do want to know who I’m knowing but hey! Maybe all people are like that, do you think? I may be worse than most, harder than most but…”
I stopped talking because he was already nodding.
Do you have an inner circle? How hard is it to crack?
13 Responses to “Jupiter in Sagittarius - The Asian Women in The Gym”
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I used to go to Moroccan steam baths in the Netherlands. The Moroccan women take care of each other too - and so did my friends and I copying them. I had a scrub session with a professional: she nearly took my skin off!! Concerning friends, I am extremely inner circle. Outgoing and open to meet people, but picky when it comes to who I let in to the core circle. It does mean I have a relatively large circle of very intimate friendships, all special in their own way.
I definitely have an inner circle, and it takes a long time to crack. It also takes a long time for me to form a new circle if I move to a new town.
This story was deeply heartwarming. I’m still glowing from it. It made me feel good.
I’m glad you post these kinds of stories too. They counterbalance ‘the others’.
I mean, I know that this is an advice column and by its nature, the people who write in have problems — that’s the point. The people with healthy, happy lives, relationships, etc. aren’t the ones writing in. So sometimes, it gets depressing reading about all the relationships that aren’t working, etc.
The fact that you throw in these other, brighter glimpses into human nature, I really appreciate that.
I remember you said once: “I exist to compensate.” (or something to that effect)
You do it brilliantly on this blog.
You provide a forum where people can be witnessed in both all their flaws and all their glory.
Thank you for that.
I spent quite some time enjoying the Japanese Onsen in Japan. I’d say that your view is accurate. I learned, after I got over the stares at my body, to love the baths because I got to see the little old woman who was 80 and still dipping herself into the hot hot waters. It taught me a lot about how our bodies change as we age. I am much more concious of valuing my body now and knowing that all parts will sag with time….
Hey, I just realized that the picture is NOT representative of the women’s side of the baths!!
Elsa - ya did it again. Thanks for the smile!!!
I have an inner circle. It is hard to crack, because those in it are far-flung. Although all of my friends know of, like, and respect each other (A is always asking about B, though they may see each other only once every two years) they never seem to *meet*.
I guess it’s kinda like some people’s families, right? You always send greetings to A’s Aunty Pat, though she lives across the country and you haven’t a hope in hell of gettng to know her!
Oh I forgot to add that I love this story!!!
I love the comraderie of the communal baths.
Ummmm… they are recreating the baths at home. Hm. Okay, which home? Because I don’t think this is really representative of all Asian women. Japanese women (in your picture) don’t represent all Asian women. I mean, you could make generalizations, but I don’t think that it is representative. You’ve got to be clear what culture these women are coming from. Or else you’ll make sweeping Jupiter in Sagittarius generalizations. I know that this is your blog, but it is also a culture-conception maker. I guess I’m feeling responsibility to clarify something important to me.
That’s cute though haha. Maybe she was like an Asian (Japanese? Korean? Vietnamese? Chinese? Taiwanese?) version of Italian Elsa! Meaning… reaching out and wanting to help you out. Even though they don’t know you. (Blog advice!)
Still, I would never want group scrubbing or whatever! Note some of the Asian and Asian-American differences? =P But, I do find that someone does usually have to vouch for you if you’re trying to approach a *group*; that’s true. Usually. There are always exceptions though.
The thing is there’s this idea of non-mixing Asians. That Asian are non-mixing. Was it language-ability? Were they Asian American (2nd gen)? Were they college student age? Were they older moms? How did they meet? Through family? Through other close friends? Sometimes, this explanation of them being Asian doesn’t explain everything. Maybe, there’s safety of not being picked out for their race by friends by hanging out w/ people of the same background? They don’t feel like the “quiet Asian” amongst these friends or that they have to defend some part themselves. They feel like themselves. Hm.. Fascination may get you to want to expand one’s knowledge, but it doesn’t mean that one will get the facts straight about cultures.
Sorry Elsa! =/ I just really care about this stuff. I do apologize. It’s cause this is exactly what I’m specializing in college.
- Mars and Moon in 9th house.
I like the way that your editor pointed this out:
Instead of you cracking the Asian brigade, it’s the nice woman cracking the ice w/ our Elsa, haha =). *shrug*
In other Jupiter in Sagittarius news,
Astrology + (a group version? of) Dating Game + the shameless daring of Fear Factor + MTV youth mentality = this TV show.
Well, just take a look. I can’t believe some of the stuff they make them do! TV people are insane! I feel terribly sorry for them!
12 Corazones.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Corazones
http://www.telemundo47.com/12corazones/index.html
I caught a segment on Canadian TV recently (I’m in Canada)… where the show’s black male co-host was explaining how he finds it offensive and frustrating and tiresome to be lumped into this category called “Blacks” and to be asked “what does the Black community think” and included in other such references.
I forget, I think he said he was born and raised in Wherever and that THAT was his culture. That he had nothing in common with a black-skinned person from Jamaica or the American Deep South or South Africa or England — and that all those were different from each other, and that people with black skin living in Canada might have been born here and so may 4 generations before them, or anywhere else in the world, and therefore he did not feel “brotherhood” with somebody just because of his “blackness”.
I spent some time in Turkey many years ago and loved the baths there. I loved that women were so open with their bodies around each other. I loved the old women who demanded I scrub them! I am a really physically affectionate person, and as wacked as this may seem to some people, I loved doing it. Caring for old women (they were over 70) especially!
When my friend and I were 15 and 14 respectively, we decided the best way to stop feeling bad about our bodies was to make a point to walk around the community pool’s change room naked. Not prancing, just normal from-the-shower-to-the-bath stuff.
I grew up around a lot of women with a lot of body shame, and the experience with my girlfriends and then these Turkish women was really self-affirming.
Hehe. I know this is an old blog but it makes me so happy, I had to comment. I love your stories.
I think the inner circle takes length of time for me. I have six “best friends” and that is my criteria. I’ve known them each for 19 years, 11 years, 10 years, 9 years, four years, and two years respectively… and I’m only 24, so the length of time is somewhat remarkable.
maybe it’s uranus in the 11th, i can navigate from one circle to another easily & in any direction, cracking it is rarely what it’s cracked to be. it’s ironic that i am both a loner and yet be can be also super connected.
i love this bath story. tribal love.