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Astrology and Etiquette In the 21st Century: Libra Man Collides With My Mars Mercury Conjunction in Libra
Astrology in Real Life…
Speaking of Libra (known for their manners), I was talking to a friend last night about a man she’s been seeing.
“He asked me why I didn’t come in (to his house) and I told him I wasn’t invited. If I’m dropping someone off, I don’t just walk into their house.”
“Me neither,” I said.
“I just wouldn’t do that. I’m not going to just assume, and follow someone into their house, unless it’s been discussed or I’ve been invited…”
“Sounds right to me,” I said, “Sound like grace.”
But as soon as I said that I thought of my coffee date with the Libra who notes body language. Both gym rats who pay attention, we were trading notes on our impressions of things we see in the gym as well as how we felt about each other…
“And then one day I held the door for you,” he said. “And you went by me and I thought, now that’s something. I thought you had “IT”.”
“Really?” I thought backwards as fast as I could. This door opening is a big deal to me. It’s significant. I could almost remember this specific day. “Well I like that. I like men to open the door for me. So I’m sure I was glad about it.”
“You must have been. Because you stood there and waited for me to get the next door, too.” He smiled.
“I did? Good. That sounds like me. But I would not have done that if you weren’t the way you are. Super manly. Because do you know this door-opening… well men are no longer expected to open doors for women.”
He looked unconvinced.
“Seriously. I’ve written about this. Last year. (Blogcritics: Etiquette In the 21st Century - Can Someone Please Clue Me In?) Because this happens all the time at the gym. Men don’t get the door. I think men should get the door, but others think differently and it turns out they’re right. Because when I wrote about this, several people who teach etiquette showed up to say men opening doors for women is antiquated. It’s over. People are supposed to get doors for people,” I said.
He looked unconvinced.
“I know. I don’t like it. I teach my son (Libra Moon, Libra rising) to get the door. He’s seven and I have him hold the elevator door until all the women are in, or out. And he’s does it. He looks good doing it too, but he’s like a throwback to some other era.”
“I would always get the door for you. For a woman.”
“Well, thank you. And I would always let you. But I better know about this, because if you were a 23-year-old man and I stood there waiting for you to get the door, I’d be standing there until I am blue. This is just not what they teach anymore. The professional manners people say otherwise. I know because I asked them. But anyway, I remember that day now. Because it was rare. You’re rare. And it was sure nice to meet one of my own kind. That was classy. It made me feel good. To be recognized as a women, I guess.”
“You’re definitely a woman.”
“Yes. Yes, I am. I can’t help it. And I appreciate you being a man. I don’t really like men who don’t get doors for women. I just think they’re fools. It just seems wrong to me. Sad. It’s almost an affront when a man passes in front of a woman, but I am just telling you this is what we think, but we are out of the loop. We’re old, I guess. It’s just not what is taught anymore and I have had to come to terms with this. But it sure made me feel good when you did that. You were classy, the way you did that. I have “IT”? I think you have “IT”. Because I am telling you the men around here do not hold the door. It almost never happens and that day when you did… you held both doors, I liked it. It helped my day. It was as if something were right in the world.”
“Well that’s exactly how it felt to me. It sure made an impression on me, I’ll tell you that. I I have not forgotten it at all. I thought you were something else. It made me want to know you.”
So what do you think? Should men hold doors for women, or should people hold doors for people? Do you have Libra in your chart? And roughly how old are you?
43 Responses to “Astrology and Etiquette In the 21st Century: Libra Man Collides With My Mars Mercury Conjunction in Libra”
I’m on board with Elsa and Amber. It’s not about helplessness or not, either. It’s about graciousness and paying attention.
Oh, I forgot. I also do think that people should hold doors for people. I have Jupiter and Uranus in Libra. I am 37 but I’m also Latin, so you see, it’s not just generational, Elsa, it’s also cultural.
I have a Libra sun and a very Libra chart. I’ve been told by a local astrologer that I have the most Libra in my chart that she’d ever seen. I live in the South, so men still often hold doors for women and are raised to do so. I like it when men hold the door for me on one level, but on another level I like it most when I hold the door for other people–male or female. 
If it is a man, I like the moment when they have to shift their perspective of what’s traditional and either make a fuss about how they should be holding the door for *me* (and sometimes they do that) or just accept with grace that tradition isn’t what it was, and let me hold the door for them. I like seeing them assess the situation and I’m not upset with whatever reaction they have. It’s just fun. And, if it is a woman, I like the way holding the door makes us acknowledge each other. It’s a moment of sisterhood in a way. Women too often ignore each other in life, or see each other as obstacles instead of support. Holding the door for another woman allows a moment when that isn’t how we’re operating. It’s nice.
Oh, and I’m 32. 
Well, it’s of course not very fair that men be required to do these sort of things in a society where women demand equal rights. Still, I love it when I come across such a gentleman and am in no way offended as are some other women my age. Libra sun, venus & uranus
I’m 32…I hold doors for people all the time, but if I’m with a man, I expect him to open the door for me. My stepdad spoiled me completely! I’ll stand there in front of a door and wait without even realizing it. Actually I sometimes do this in mixed company too…my best friend teases me because she always has to get the door for me when we go anywhere together.
No, men shouldn’t hold open doors for women just because they’re women. It really is antiquated and reinforces the stereotype that women need to be helped. That said, I do believe that people should be inclined to help people, regardless of their gender. Whether that is a man opening the door for a woman or a woman opening a door for a man, a younger person helping someone older, vice versa, or whatever the situation is. Neptune & Uranus in Libra, 33.
pluto and uranus in libra. early 30’s for age and yes, men should hold, carry, and defer to women including opening doors. I have a general purpose exception to this rule. If I have nothing in my hands and a guy is carrying something bulky or heavy I WILL get the door for him. I will also get the door for anyone my parents age or older, having difficulty walking etc. You get the picture.
Now, I do wonder, how many women defer to the man in the driving of the automobile? Does it make a difference who owns the car?
I work as a delivery person, and i am a woman, and almost no one holds open the door for me. furthermore, some men hold the elevator door for every other woman and man and child and dog, but not me!
why is this? because i am hired help?
I have had people get snitty I don’t hold the door even though my arms are full, and frankly, if I held the door open for everyone all day long my shoulder would pack it in.
people should help anyone who needs it, period.
I have VEnus in Libra and I do like a man to hold open a door for me. Im 39. I also believe that people should open doors for other people.. Its a courtesy. I have a job where my hands are full all day and I am in and out of businesses constantly. It is rare that someone opens a door for me. People are too busy/too self absorbed/ etc.. to care most times. If someone does open a door, I am thrilled. Ill remember that face forever too.
People should hold doors for people. If I get to the door first I will hold it for anyone behind me, and I like it when other people (male or female) hold one for me, though I don’t expect it. It would never occur to me to go through a door being held for me by a man and then WAIT for him to get the next one (or to just sit there in the front seat of a car until the man driving could walk around and open the door for me). I am a 37-year-old woman and have the Sun and four other planets in Libra.
Lol I do affiliate with this post.
I truly dont expect men to hold doors but if one does I am pleasantly surprised and I think what a thoughtful polite person. I think people in general should be kind and polite enough to do that for each other and it shouldnt be a gender thing. However if man does such things, it gives him in my eyes a little special something (probably because its so rare).
And if it wasnt obvious by now I have quite a bit of libra in me, 24 years.
Men should hold doors for women, but women can hold for men if they have packages or small children in tow….and women should keep the door open for the person behind them if a lot of people are entering a building, like preschool or the theater. People should be polite. No Libra, but lots of Virgo and I’m mid 40’s.
I think they should. In a professional setting, the majority do. I’ve also seen more attractive women treated differently than other women. The men seem to do it for their own reasons nowadays. I have Pluto in Libra in the 7th, I’m 28.
I have pluto/uranus in libra, a generational thing at best. Personally, I think it is a beautiful thing when a man opens a door for me. It’s a general nicety and when they have done this for me, it ALWAYS makes me smile. Isn’t that worth it? To just make someone smile irregardless of it being ‘antiquated’?
I open doors for others, give up my seat for elderly/preggers/etc and when they smile at me for doing this, I know I love it.
I just cannot help but grin ear to ear when a guy I like does this for me too. I’m 34, fiercely independent and love when my knees get weak to a nicety like this. Yeah, guys should do this. It’s awesome.
I think men should hold doors for women. I guess I’m old fashioned though. . . and a Libra (my birthday is September 29, I’m not sure about the rest of my chart though.)
I make my husband hold the door for me. He doesn’t get the car door though and that irks me.
I think people need all the demonstrations of kindness and caring we can ‘perform’, regardless of the gender of the ‘doer’ or of the ‘beneficiary’.
People should open doors for people.
People should perform all manners of ‘random acts of kindness’ they can, every day, whenever and wherever and for whoever they can.
For me, there is nothing that beats doing something nice for someone (of any sex, age, etc.). Being the recipient feels good for sure, but it comes only second.
Sun, Mars, Merc and North Node stellium in Libra.
Age 47.
Those I admire the most? *Men* who open doors for other *men*. And I’m not talking about gays here.
A man who is a full and evolved enough human being, and secure enough in his own manhood, to open a door for another man, now there’s a human being I admire.
I know some guys like that. I love having them in my life.
Yes, men should hold doors for women and I am teaching my boys this. There are exceptions and I agree with Rkkkggg that it’s cool when people step outside of their normal roles to help each other.
41 and Gemini sun, Mercury and Jupiter in the 7th house.
Yes. i totally agree with C. and Strawberry and the people that said yes.
Men that open doors for whoever needs it and are gentlemen in general are the sexiest thing I can think of.
I have pluto in libra. I think my venus in capricorn values this kind of stuff too, as capricorn has to do with social rules.
I don’t agree with Marc about it reinforcing the idea women need help.
I personally love the idea of women being treated with special care, I don’t care if they need it or not, it’s not about that.
I will open doors to everyone that needs ir, men or women, old or young, and it’s just as nice.
I think gentlemen men are the manliest men of all. And it’s extremely atractive.
I’ll be 28 in a month.
I think everyone should do for everyone else. Actually it’s humorous that this blog is up because just this morning I was commenting to my husband that I hated it when men held doors open out of “obligation” or “chivalry” rather than true compassion or need. In a lot of cases, the awkwardness of the man trying to hold the door open for me after I’ve already held it open for him but refusing to go through because ‘he’s a guy and that’s weird to go through first even though they want you to’…is rather outdated and uncomfortable.
I believe in politeness, but above all I believe in compassion. I guess it’s the Aries and Sag in me not being as keen on the ‘chivalry’, but the Pisces in me being keen on compassion.
P.S. I agree with the role reversals–men helping men, women helping women, etc. That’s always good. Help is help, though, right?
p.s. my husband is a double libra (sun and rising) with mars in libra, and he holds doors for everyone, but he isn’t the “old-fashioned type”…he’s very progressive. I told him the first day I saw him in person (we met on the internet) that I hated chivalry. In fact what I meant to say is that I hated the idea of thoughtless obligation. Kindness and compassion mean more to me. The “a man does this” and a “woman does that” does not turn me on.
re: 24 Uncle H - The “a man does this” and a “woman does that” does not turn me on.
ditto
Also…
I sometimes open doors (or perform other ‘chivalrous’ acts) for reasons other than ‘kindness and caring’…
Like… it can very much be a flirtation or a ‘hmmm, i like you’ (in a sexual way)…
and i think there’s still room for that, and that that’s ok… nothing like two strangers engaging in an ephemeral act of lust and appreciation and then each going on with their day, ho harm no foul, just a little ego (and groin) boost, and a smile on each our face
but the ‘men do this - women do that’ as an obligation or expectation or dictate? no thank you - very repulsive
if i had children, i would teach them to ‘do’ (whatever nice thing) for ~everyone~, regardless of gender, age, ability, color, etc.
imagine what the world would be like
People open doors for people. Its manners. And i’m an equalitist. Uranus at 0′libra, my only planet in air and part of a stellium in virgo in 7th. Nuff said. Age 37.
People should open the door for people. Small acts of kindness always make me feel good. Libra 5th house. Age 40.
hehe…
that’s an interesting form of fliration, Strawberry Fields. I guess it’s as valid as any other.
People should hold doors for other people; however, I am never offended when a man does it expressly because I am a woman. I am 35 and half-Southern and half-Californian.
People should open doors for people just for the surprised look and free smile and contact you get–I always hold open doors for for this reason. I think men should show they are considerate and well bred by holding open the doors for women. I SAY so LOUDLY when men push past me on public transportation and the elderly get ignored. I’m SICK of bad manners, any form of good manners is welcome. Sexism is rampant in so many subtle, undermining ways. Good manners are good manners.
I’m 43, 11 and 12th house Libra with all that Capricorn Sun Righteousness!
I think people should hold doors for people, and thank cheese I’m not alone!
There’s actually a few Libra men in my life and they all do this (hold doors, carry heavy things, &c). I’m short and I can always count on one of them to help me get tall things or steady me on big drops. One, my finace, is kind of oblivious about it sometimes (I can’t complain, so am I). The other I fight with constantly over the door issue - he’ll hold the first one in a set, then won’t go through the next when I try to hold it for him.
I’m 28, with Mars, Venus, and Pluto conjunct in
Libra, 4th House.
17. JILL - If you want to look at your chart, try http://www.astro.com. You’ll need the date and exact place and time of your birth to get an accurate result. BTW, my fiance (also Sept. 29) told me recently his birthday is historically considered the day Lucifer fell. I don’t remember which denomination that came from though. . . Catholic, I think.
I’m fast approaching 42, I have no planets in Libra, the only air “object” is my NN in Gemini and, depending on the house style, the chart is intercepted and I have no Libra house!
I expect men to open doors for me. I stand aside and wait and usually, after a few awkward heartbeats, they do so and I say thank you. I don’t make an issue of it, but I make it clear that (though I swear like a sailor from time to time) I am a lady and will be treated as such. Old fashioned and unfeminist? Too freakin’ bad. Men open doors for ladies in my world - end of discussion I’ve taught my nephews this as well.
But that’s not all - I open doors for the elderly or disabled, regardless of sex, because it’s the polite, respectful, thing to do. I get the door for Mom if Dad isn’t there to beat me to it and for the aunts, great-aunts and grandmas - same for uncles, great-uncles and grandpas. Years ago one of my brothers tried sailing through a door ahead of his Mother - I nearly yanked him off his feet and told him off. None of the boys ever made that mistake again!
“Now, I do wonder, how many women defer to the man in the driving of the automobile? Does it make a difference who owns the car?”
Good question C. Unless it’s my Dad, I drive. I have control issues (and warn people about it ahead of time) about driving and no one wants me to be their passenger! Dad’s the same way (probably where I learn it) and it used to be a battle of wills over who drove until I finally gave in.
I start opening the door for myself and prop it for whoever is behind me - but i like it when a man that’s behind me grabs the doorframe and continues the opening so that he’s taking the weight of the door from my hands. I would think it rude if i’m ahead of people to stop for them to open the door for me.
But I like it held when the man is a real gentleman - not just because i’m a female and they have been trained.
I’m 32 and live in Toronto Canada.
Ive got lots of Libra. I told my hubby (when we were dating) that he didnt have to hold doors for me, I had two hands & could get it myself. Not in a mean way or anything, but he was jumping up all over the place opening and closing car doors, shop doors you name it. I thought it was a little silly to have him get out & run around to my car door just to open it for me. However, I do like it when men open doors for women. I think its polite and if I had a son Id be teaching him to open & hold doors for ladies.
Hubby still will open doors for me now & again and I let him. He knows I dont expect him to, so when he does do it, its all the nicer.
i find it interesting that many posts here see “door holding” as random acts of kindness. i believe holding a door open for someone else could be considered kind, but from my experience and observations it is anything but.
i would say that door holding as taught me from childhood onwards who and what is valued in the society where i live. doors are not held open for just anyone, you have to be a particular colour, age, sex, economic status to garner its benefit. as a traditional monitor of “gentleman behaviour” i’d say that is dead on, as it shows me who is perceived to be upstairs and who is seen as coming from downstairs because most men hold doors for females whom they consider attractive period! (saggal #15)
recently, two weeks ago, on our way to lunch, a work mate opened a door and just before she could get through a woman who was part of an approaching group of academics waltzed right through not even a glance back to say thanks or even acknowledge the other human being that still had the the door handle in her grasp. i motioned to my colleague to quickly pass through or else she would be stuck there until the rest of the group had exited. as for age, my mate is in her sixties, i am in my mid-forties, and this textpert was probably in her fifties. women can and do treat other women like the shits (yeah yeah i know we have already had this discussion, but it bears repeating since it is so relevant to this topic).
yes i swing doors wide open when there is someone a few steps behind me and i do hold doors for others when i see the other person needing help to get through. i do this based less on what the person looks like or what is even expected from me. i guess i do it because i can and want to.
membership in a particular kind of femininity does have its privileges however, for me it is predicated on the backs of other ways of being a woman and both men and women are at fault here.
i do hope one day that the general daily help we give to each other is more focused on human need (giver/receiver) and less on status. until that time i will continue to watch, experience, and learn.
i guess that was a rant 
I really must have been a man in my last life, b/c I truly enjoy getting the door for people…to the point where I will wait a min for someone walking behind me, and hold the door for them. (Or maybe I was just a doorman?? haha)
I must say tho’, I DO appreciate it greatly when a man gets the door for me. I think it’s sweet, and it shows respect and appreciation. I also think men should handle the car door, but that’s another story.
In either case, people who do not hold the door for the person behind them, and let the door close on the other person? I do not care to be around people like that…They are not very nice people.
Maybe it’s all my Gemini, but I can’t wait for anyone to get the door for me…or do anything for me if I can do it for myself. I can’t relate to this principle at all. Reading this makes me feel I was raised on another planet.
Only NN in Libra.
I’m 44, quadruple Gemini but Libra rising. Men always open the door for me, have since I was a young teen. This morning, the gas jockey, a young guy around 20, opened my car door for me (I had left to pay for the gas inside the store). Have rarely opened a door for a man since he tends to get to the door first. But I open doors for others, mostly women and the elderly.
My SO, who was raised in a traditional European family, opens and closes my car door (even when I’m the driver), opens doors, walks on the street-side of the sidewalk, and generally treats me like a lady…except in bed. He’s Aries rising, Venus in Aries, but a real gentleman when it comes to manners. I could never be with a lout.
men should hold doors open for women with three bags and a small child in tow 
until that point i didn’t really care. thought it was sweet but unnecessary.
everyone should hold doors for the elderly, i think.
my only libra is pluto. and the south node.
I think EVERYBODY should defer to a woman with small children - especially if she’s got a baby. These women ad TIRED and stressed. I also think they should get let in front of you in a grocery line and anything else you can do for them!
I’m a Libra man and I always hold the door for women. It’s the way I was raised and I don’t care if some people think that it’s no longer appropriate. Those who object to it usually give short shrift to manners and civility of any kind and have contributed to the decline of our culture. Of course, if a woman would be offended by having the door held open for her, it’s obvious and I don’t bother. I lift heavy loads for women whether or not they ask and fix things they can’t fix if they sincerely acknowledge my help and remember it. I resent it, however, when a woman thinks I can be ordered around or supervised while I’m doing something my way. And what really irks me are “liberated women” who make snide remarks about how superior they think they are to all men, yet if they have a problem with which they can’t readily deal, they always expect a man to stop everything and render aid. What would be funny were it not so annoying and often downright sad is how so many women actually believe that they are more romantic, more honest, more sentimental, or more considerate than any and all men. It’s utter nonsense, in my experience. And if women really were so much smarter than men, there wouldn’t be so many of them hopelessly incapable of discriminating between a good one and a total flake, jerk, or a**hole. The real turkeys are invariably the ones most adept at playing on a woman’s vanity and prejudices to get past her defenses, after which she means very little to them.
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Men should hold doors for women. And men should help women with their luggage. And men should at least check whether you are alright getting in and out of trains, taxis, cars etc. Of course I can do it by myself, but that is completely besides the point. Mars in libra ontop of venus in scorp, 28.