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Body Language: Watching People Be Themselves
Ask The Collective…
From my coffee date. He’s a Libra (polite) with a Pisces Moon (intuitive). His mother is a shrink. That’s his word, not mine.
“Yeah, I’ve been watching you for awhile. And one day I was standing with this other guy and you were walking… you were headed for the locker room and you were walking all straight, with your head up.” He straitened out his posture. I listened.
“But then you saw us. And as soon as you did, your body language changed. You closed in like this,” he said, rounding his shoulder to his center.
I nodded.
“And I thought, I don’t know. Either she’s really shy or… I just don’t know. What’s that about? I wondered, because you’re usually so confident.”
“Uh huh.”
“And you stayed like that a couple seconds and then you straightened back up and you said hi to us,” he waved. “You said hi in your usual friendly way.”
“I see.”
“And I had no idea what to make of it. See, I notice things like that and besides it was pronounced. You couldn’t miss it. And I thought, hmm. I wonder what that was.”
“Well I know what it was,” I said. “And I’ll tell you if you want.”
“Go ahead.”
“Well I love the gym. That’s why I am walking tall like that. I feel great when I am there. But as I told you, I am trying to dodge men. I am trying to dodge them in general, but I am especially trying to dodge you.”
“Because I’m trouble?” he asked. He was smiling, I’d explained this earlier.
“Yeah. Exactly. You’re a problem. You’re a particularly special problem for me so I’m not surprised my body would react like that when I am about to collide with you. Here I am done with my workout. I’m feeling good and about to get out of there free and clear and next thing you know, there you are and I am walkin’ straight into the fire!”
He laughed.
“Yikes!” I said, smiling. “So anyway, that’s it. That’s what was going on that day because as I told you I am trying not to meet any men. Especially men who are attractive. Because right now, I have no idea what to do with them or about them so basically… I guess you could say I am terrified.” I hesitated. “And ambivalent,” I said with a smirky grin.
He smiled.
“Yeah. So you can see it’s a mess. It’s a true mess and I don’t know what else to say about it beyond what I already have. Except I am glad to be here. I am very glad, so thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
How much mind do you pay other people’s body language?
12 Responses to “Body Language: Watching People Be Themselves”
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A lot. Except I don’t read body language the way ‘all those books’ tell you to. I have my own interpretation of what body language cues mean and it generally goes beyond the stereotypical definitions.
What one person ‘does’ can mean one thing in one situation and another thing in another situation, for the same person, and it can be entirely different for another person.
My therapist and I used to wrangle playfully about this all the time. For example, I have a back problem. Which means a bunch of things happen, which people who don’t know me misinterpret all the time. (I have actually been taught to do these things in physiotherapy.) There are three things that help keep my back in top shape and not hurting: one is shifting my weight around regularly, especially when sitting. Another is crossing my legs. A third is crossing my arms. You can imagine how those ’signals’ are perceived by armchair ‘body languagists’!
A lot. The body never lies.
Interesting image. Thanks for sharing!
Good point, Strawberry Fields. Sometimes there are also cultural differences on body language to take into account.
Hardly any. I am famously oblivious to non-verbal cues.
I usually pay close attention to body language. People give off SO much information but we’ve been trained to ignore most of that information.
WHAT IS LIBRAS’ ATTRACTION TO THE WORD AMBIVALENT?! I had a shrink that was a Libra (unmarried and I kept unsuccessfully trying to find out whether she was a lesbian because I assumed she was) and she would always assume or call me ambivalent. “You are a bit ambivalent about this, eh?” “Uhh, I suppose.” And the attraction is obvious to me. I just didn’t know any other Libras that used it.
I liken the interpretation of body language to that of dreams. I don’t believe in ‘universal’ interpretations. Dreaming of a snake may sometimes yes perhaps maybe refer to some common archetypal motif. But it can also be a reference to something personal and unique to the dreamer.
Dani, do you think I’m a Libra? I am not a Libra.
I give off ‘aloof’…and I am not at all like that inwardly. My moon is conjunct saturn…but my asc is aries; mars conj sun/merc in leo. It would figure…’cool’ is just how I project no matter how much I want to pounce.:-)
yes! lol. i’m always watching, analyzing.. not in a bad way.. i guess i’m just really interested in other people. how the feel, what they think, etc.
i guess it’s the cancer sun/scorpio moon combo
also - people always catch my leo rising! they say i walk really straight, looking up, very confident. several have told me i seemed intimidating…but that’s so far from the truth..i’m as mushy and sensitive as it gets..