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Jupiter in Sagittarius - Good Things Come From Mashing the Cultures
Astrology In Real Life…
I was in New York this weekend to visit my editor, HQ and his wife who is Korean. Though I met her at their wedding, I’d never spent time with her otherwise and the weekend was an ultra-pleasurable education on many levels. And perhaps I’ll have a chance to write about some of the subtleties… she’s a Scorpio with five planets in the sign but this blog is going to be a cilantro.
We went out for Korean BBQ… she took the time to find a restaurant that still uses wood-burning grill. She likes to cook and so do I. Italians use a lot garlic and I was surprised to learn Koreans do as well… as we chatted over dinner both of us crunching on whole cloves of garlic I had to pick up with chopsticks, which is a challenge for me.
I told her I could cook anything but Asian and had become committed to learning, so after dinner we went to a Korean grocery in K-Town so she could show me around and pick up a few things she needed… this, that and cilantro, but guess what? No cilantro. The store was sold out.
The next day we walked to brunch and then to various places around the city before stopping in another grocery store to get the cilantro and various other sundries. I followed her through the produce section… watching her carefully select a few apples. She peels and sections them before she eats them… I’d just chomp, I had noticed this the night I got into town. Her apple-peeling actually looked artful to me, but anyway she went for the cilantro but no luck. There was only one bunch and it was wilted.
She shook her head and looked dejected. “I need cilantro,” she said. “I need cilantro.”
I followed her down the aisles wondering if I should speak up because watching her was painful and since I am me, obviously I did.
“Um… do you ever… did you ever… do you know you can just ask the produce guy to look in the back for some cilantro that is fresh? They probably have it. Chances are.”
She just looked at me.
“Koreans don’t do that.” HQ explained. He was there, pushing the cart.
“They don’t? You don’t?”
“I wouldn’t do that,” she said. “I would never ask something like that.”
“You wouldn’t? Well I would. I do it all the time. Look, produce people know their produce. And they know when it’s lousy and actually appreciate someone who appreciates good produce. Seriously. You can get to know them. They just know you are someone who doesn’t like to eat junk.”
She seemed interested. Like I made sense.
“I can ask, if you want. Would that bother you? Would you mind if I as because you can’t use what they’ve got out there and you’ve got to have some.”
She said she didn’t mind. I made a beeline for the produce man.
“Hey there, hi,” I said smiling. “We need some cilantro and the bunch you have out there looks pretty sorry. Do you have any more in the back? Would you mind looking for us?”
A couple minutes later, he came back with several bunches of cilantro.
“Thank you,” I said, as she shopped them and picked the finest. “Thank you very much for that.”
Later that evening we talked about this. She reiterated she would have never asked something like this. She said she’d have walked 6 blocks to the next store and hoped they had some.
“But would you ask now?” I wondered.
“Yes.”
“Good. Well that’s good. You can just pretend you’re Italian, get away with stuff like this and save yourself all kinds of time!”
And I felt so good about this. I hope she easy access to fresh produce for the rest of life. Wouldn’t that be cool? Meantime I’m going to make some soybean paste…
Would you have asked for the cilantro or walked the six blocks?
24 Responses to “Jupiter in Sagittarius - Good Things Come From Mashing the Cultures”
i would ask and i would check with anyone else in produce to see if they needed something while i was asking.
Well I learned something new. Makes sense they’d have more in the back. Had I known, I would have asked because I’m too damn lazy to walk six more blocks 
Waves down at Marly in NYC ~ I’m in CT.
I would definitely walk the six blocks… 
That is so much easier than gathering the nerve to ask the produce guy to look in the back for what I want, although it makes sense and everything. It’s even better for the produce man himself because he gets paid for the cilantro rather than the guy six blocks from him, so it’s for the best interest of us both, but it’s still going to be so hard to bring myself to do it that I’d prefer do the walking. Mars in Cancer squares Saturn in Aries - assertion is not my strongest suit
I have no problems asking for fresh produce, have done it many a times with the last time being for swiss chard. The produce guy was absolutely wonderful about it too. I do have a strong Italian lineage but never thought it would pop out in the produce department. Thanks for the insight Elsa.
HI, Laura Elizabeth!! You let me know,too, if you’re coming down to NYC and we’ll have tea or coffee together. Just post it here on Elsa’s site and I should get it. I’m always checking for comments anyway.
I ask for produce.
I ask for meat.
I ask for ~anything~.
Ditto in other kinds of stores.
Depending on my mood, and how badly I need/want an item…
I *love* cilantro, btw. Yum!!
Mrs. Cilantro here. 
Looks like you have a ton of fans here in nyc!
Asking for cilantro never would have crossed my mind in a million uears. I definitely would have walked the 6 blocks to the next market if it weren’t for you!
10 years ago I wouldn’t have even bothered walking the six blocks, I would have decided on a different recipe, but today, I definitely am not wasting precious time and energy not asking for what I need. If they don’t have it, then I can move on, but I’m all up for asking these days. A positive effect of my Pluto transit to my sun.
That depends on the store. Some of our specialty stores are more accomodating. The larger chains usually dont have anyone from produce in the produce aisle.
uh, wouldn’t have thought to ask…
too lazy to walk six blocks…
realistically? I’d have burst into tears and ordered take-out.
and YAY for new friends!!
re: #9 heather
Sometime this summer, there was a period where for some unknown reason eggplant was simply not available anywhere in this town. If I had not asked, I would have wasted precious time driving all over. But I did ask. The first place explained there was some insustry-wide problem with obtaining eggplant of acceptable quality. Just for the hell of it, I went to another store that I knew sourced its produce from a different supply chain. They told me the very same thing. So, like Heather, I didn’t waste time and simply postponed making my eggplant dishes until I saw them resurface in the stores.
I’ve gotten more consistent too about asking in clothing stores. Sometimes they don’t have the color and/or size I want on the racks, but often they do have it in the back, and if they don’t, most of the time they will order it for you or tell you which other store in town has it. I now regularly avail myself of this. I mean, they are HAPPY to help you — they want to make a sale after all!
Hardware store, any store, ditto! Ask! At any store worthy of your business, these folks usually *love* being able to put whatever you are seeking in your hands!
Another example! Freezer tape! The kind you can write on to label the containers in your freezer. I ran out. It had been years, but I knew where it had come from. (It’s hard to find.)
They told me they didn’t carry it anymore because they didn’t sell enough of it. I asked them if it was still in the computer though. They looked and it was. I made them a deal. If they ordered a box, I committed to buying half the box. The guy further figured he could split his half box with a partner-store (it’s a chain), and everybody was happy.
Those two stores now each had a few rolls for oddball customers like me (apparently they did occasionally get requests) and I now have a supply that will last me a good, long time, plus I gave some to some friends.
Win-win.
But Strawberry Fields, the eggplant example and the freezer tape example are completey different. If I can’t get eggplants I have no problem asking what’s up with the eggplant missing lately. Or ask if they don’t have this or that. It’s very different from asking them to do something “out of the ordinary” for me.
The clothing store is also a different example. If I can’t see my size or color I just ask the clerk if they don’t have this size or color. But in the cilantro example I have to tell them something like that: ‘Excuse me, I’m not sure I like the looks of the cilantro you put in the front of your store, can you please go to the back for me and check if there are fresher ones?’… Or something that practically implies that. And also, say I had the nerve to ask that, what if I don’t like the cilantro they have in the back too? How can I not buy it after they went into so much trouble for me?… :-D. And I don’t mind walking anyway, I got used to it :-D. No, seriously, I enojoy walking, I can walk miles to get exactly what I want. Good walkers can afford to be picky
Oh! You mean like… with xmas coming and all those gifts you get that you hate and are all wrong for you — do you say Yuks! or smile politely and say thank you!!
And… can I ~drive~ the six blocks, or do I ~have~ to walk them??!!! 
Strawberry Fields, regarding the stinking gifts - hehe. But unlike the stinking cilantro, at least you don’t have to pay for them stinking gifts
Oh, and if you need good tomatoes? Please do NOT squeeze them! All these mangled piles piss me off to no end. Ask the produce person what’s a good tomato if you have to!
God, Elsa, you obviously hit a nerve with me! And, I would definately ask.
Today’s businesses, especially grocery stores are extremely competitive, and grocery stores have very thin profit margins to begin with. Thus, service usually is something they can, and do, use to try to differentiate themselves from other competitors. To me service is so important and I appreciate more a store with great service. (So says a Rising Virgo!) That said, ask away, sweetly and honestly! Many people truly like being helpful!
As for gifts I am tempted to re-gift, it depends on the giver. If it is someone I know well, I’ll be politely honest. If not, I say thank you.
You can ask for produce?!!! And all this time I’ve been driving to 4 different stores to finish out my shopping list……..damn!
Oh well…..thank God for turbo charged vehicles! Brrrrrrmmmmmm!!! Anybody need a ride to the supermarket?
me me!!! too impaired to drive OR walk right now!!!!
Oh, so sorry to hear that Strawberry Fields. Hope that you don’t have a lengthy recovery.
Okay…..grab your crutches and let’s go! Haha!
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You were in NYC?! I live in NYC! Next time you’re in town, let me know in advance and I’ll show you around.
I didn’t know that you could ask the produce guy for cilantro but if I had known, I would’ve asked. I would’ve been too shy to do so a few years back, though.