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Isolated Single Mother - Will This Ever End? Aquarius Sun, Scorpio Moon
Dear Elsa,
I am the single mother of a 16 month old beautiful boy. He’s all I could have ever hoped for and more; however, I’m totally isolated. I’ve lost contact with all my friends and my love life is non existent. I used to go out a lot and was never without any number of men to date. Until now I had no desire for my old life, but lately I’ve been missing the friendships and an old boyfriend whom I haven’t spoken to in almost four years. He was the love of my life and since then I have not met anyone who I feel slightly attracted to.
Will this loneliness ever end or is this it for me, a single mother for life?
Single Mother
Dear Single Mother,
No, of course it’s not going to last. And the separation from friends when you have your first baby is so common, it may be universal. Having a baby is all consuming and when the baby is born, you’re so busy and tired and obsessed with your child it makes it very difficult to relate to your old single, child-free friends.
And it’s easy to see why! They’re going out. You’re wondering when you’re going to be able to sleep through the night. They’re playing around. Your baby is vomiting and you’re scared to death, overwhelmed and not sure you’re equipped to take care of this little human being.
And if you stand back and look at this, you can see that friends who can make this kind of transition with you would be so exceedingly rare, they may not exist. So I hope this gives you some perspective. The old you died to give birth to this baby, but now it’s time for you to resurrect yourself. It’s time for you to rise from the ashes and can you do this? Of course you can!! You have a Scorpio Moon!
So on the guy… call him up if you can. I mean, I don’t know the situation. If he’s married or something, then forget about it. But if you think he’s out there floating around and he’s someone you could connect with, reach out because you’ve got to start somewhere. You’re an Aquarian with Venus in Sagittarius and you know how to be friend with old lovers. And if that won’t work, take another tack. But you do need to get out there in some form.
As for meeting people, if you’ve been isolated it can sometime be daunting but you can start online. Look for message boards. Hang out on the Elsa blog! Because you have energy and if you put it out there, eventually you will be spotted. What you say will resonate with someone and this is how relationships begin.
As for dating, you need to do that too. Do you have a baby-sitter? You need one. If you are loathe to leave your baby alone… well, as new parents we all go through that. You’ve just got to sit through dinner with your heart pounding in your chest the first few times, but it gets better, I promise. Just get out of the house. And be ready to offer your phone number to anyone you might meet who seems appealing. You get the idea. Wake up and venture out. It’s time.
Good luck.
~~
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9 Responses to “Isolated Single Mother - Will This Ever End? Aquarius Sun, Scorpio Moon”
Christine, that’s a good question! That book has been on ice for 2.5 years! But I actually think we’re going to do something about it here pretty quick. When I know something definitive, I’ll speak up but right now it’s pretty swirly. Er… I think it’s going to be all foggy like this and then all the sudden, REAL. Because there is a 660 page book, I swear.
Oh my, 660 pages?? I can’t read that in the bathtub without getting it wet. Can you sell it as two books? either as a set or something? Or, hold on, maybe three. That’d be just over 200 pages each. That might be easier on my wrist and arm holding it up all night reading it…
Boy, selfish, I say selfish. Truth is 660 pages never sells well. Something smaller, in series, as a set will sell much better. People will feel like they’re getting more for their money. Oh, and PLEASE get it indexed. Books without indexes are useless unless they’re ONE big story. Which I suspect yours is not. I suspect it’s a series of stories with some hard-core useful information in it… in which case an index would be a gift! Let me know if you need an index. You might get a volunteer on that! 
or atleast the first 300 pages
C, it’s not an astrology book, it’s a book, book. And it’s as long as it is. And I don’t really care if it sells well. The more it sells, the more my life will be ruined so it’s hard to root for that.
I say write it however the heck you want. I am going to buy it!
*laughs* yeah, I’m already sold too. And I -hate- installments when it could’ve just been one big book, so I’m all for the 660 pages too.
Now my only reason to whine is that it’s not published yet! Wahh! *grins*
well, I’ve read her book and it’s riveting. 600 pages isn’t long enough… actually, I recant: it’s perfect.
From one (kinda) single mom to another… I’ve taken to recommending dating men who are already fathers. GOOD fathers! None of that deadbeat shit, and none of that ‘raising kids is women’s work’ shit. Good, loving, hardworking dads make excellent dates/boyfriends for a single mom. They already know that the kids may interfere, that they’ll never be #1 in your life, and that they will never have your complete and undivided attention. Also, if they already have the warm fuzzies for their own kids, it’s just that much easier for them to have them over yours.
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I'm available for consultations! You can schedule a consultation by phone or a consultation by email. You can also read what clients have to say about my consultations. Thanks, I look forward to working with you. :) - Elsa P
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Elsa,
I love how you always encourage people to get out there and meet people, make friends, etc. I know you’ve got Libra…can you make some posts up about houses, transits through the houses, etc? I think I’d like to hear some stuff about friendships in another way: we have details on the friends in your life, but how do you really FEEL about how those relationships provoked your being??? Or do I have to wait for the goddmamn book! When the fuck are you going to promote YOUR EFFEN BOOK, LADY???