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Learning To Be Comfortable In Your Un-Comfort Zone: Conversations With Ben
Astrology In Real Life…
There has been another thing on my mind… a person’s “un-comfort zone”. About a dozen years ago I was dating a lot of men. There was just this huge stream of them but I was unable to connect, over and over and over and over. And my friend, Ben and I were analyzing the situation.
And if you’re a heterosexual woman it’s very good to talk to a gay man about men, because nobody understands men better than homosexual man. This is just a fact. They know a zillion men, they are a man and they sleep with men. How are you going to top that?
So anyway, I asked him what he thought the problem was and he said I got into a man’s un-comfort zone.
“Yeah?” I said, not sure what the he was talking about.
“Yes. You make people very uncomfortable. You make me uncomfortable.”
“You’re kidding?” I was surprised. Ben and I are very close friends.
“No. You make me very uncomfortable at times.” He went on to elaborate. “Anyway, I think this is the problem with these men. They don’t want to be made uncomfortable. They don’t want to be challenged. Some people are like that. Some men are like that. They don’t want anyone challenging them and this is exactly what you do.”
“Yeah? So what do I do? How am I going to fix this?”
“There is nothing you can do. This is who you are. You challenge everyone. That is who Elsa is. Some people are more comfortable in their un-comfort zones than others. And these are the people who are going to want to be around you…”
So now it’s all these years later. And it’s pretty typical; it takes me ten years or so to understand something. And what I understand now is that I love to be put in my un-comfort zone. Because it forces me to become comfortable there and when that happens, it expands my life. I can now be comfortable in a space I previously had to avoid for whatever reason and the net result of that is increased freedom. My world… the space I get to live in is increased and that makes me ultra-gleeful.
So what about you? How do you react to the stimulation of being challenged?
And where is Jupiter in your chart?
*pictured… that’s my Jupiter necklace. It was a gift from a reader. Thanks, Lilly.
22 Responses to “Learning To Be Comfortable In Your Un-Comfort Zone: Conversations With Ben”
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Jupiter in Sadge in 3rd house. Trine my Pisces Sun. I am rather fond of my Jupiter! It is also the only planet that conjuncts another … Neptune in Sadge! Well, my Aries Merc conjuncts my Sun by 9 degrees, but whatever.
Problem with a Jupiter in the 3rd house: I am a glutton for bits and pieces of info and it can go overboard. No real system to it and I suspect I am just killing time doing that; for example, I surf the Net too much and am addicted to magazines.
On the other hand, I thrive in new situations even though I occasionally would get in hot water.
Elsa, I did’nt vote because usually if someone makes me uncomfortable it is because I am reading their energy….and that can be very scary sometimes. No one makes me uncomfortable(unless they are criminally minded) because of divergent belief systems or opinions. I welcome a different perspective everyday and easily become bored with “sheeple”.
I welcome a debate, and ,as a matter of fact, I don’t think I could live without one!
My Jupiter is in Pisces in the 5th House. It squares my Mercury/Sun conjunction and opposes a Uranus/Pluto conjunction.
Where is your Jupiter, Elsa?
I LOVE the necklace! How nice of Lilly to (make it?) give it to you
This topic is really interesting and I’ll have to give it some thought. Having Cancer rising I think I have a lot of un-comfort zones. (”un-comfort zones” reminds me of un-birthdays for some strange Piscean reason
)
My vote: I fight! Quelle surprise! But not always; sometimes I just walk away. It depends upon the topic and the relative “heat” of the challenge - somethings just aren’t worth fighting over, even if I’m right.
Jupiter is in Taurus in the 11th house opposed by Neptune in Scorpio in the fifth and I’m trying to figure out how Jupiter fits into this… expansion of thought or something?
Yay! Now I have something new to ponder!
I voted no idea. Jupiter in Capricorn, but conjunct Neptune. I’m not actually sure what my uncomfort zone is… apart from my current living conditions and job..
jupiter is in my twelfth house, cancer, and I will stay in the uncomfort in order to learn something that might help me grow.
Jupiter in Gemini in the 5th…I’m all over the place. I voted to escape, but I don’t think it’s because I am scared, but because I want to keep moving.
Jupiter in Gemini, 10th house, trine Venus & Mercury in Aries, 8th house (almost 9th). Hmmm… Trine Saturn in Leo, 12th house as well…
I had to pick ‘I don’t know’ because none of the others fit. What I do depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m up for the challenge and I enjoy it, sometimes I do battle, and sometimes I’m decidedly NOT up for it and look to escape.
Jupiter in scorpio, conjunct my moon, conjunct pluto. It’s pretty difficult to make me seriously uncomfortable. I try to push the limits for myself and to understand others’ point of view, so that things don’t bother me or make me feel “insecure”. I ask lots of questions (fight?) if I get in a situation that is really bothering me. “Why this, why that, why why why?” If people are obviously trying to challenge me or get a rise out of me, I laugh and congratulate them for their effort towards futility. Nobody and Nothing’s allowed to get under my skin but me.
/ego trip
Jupiter is in my 10th in Aries.
Jupiter in 8th house/Cancer.
I dunno…I think I walk a tightrope between “play along” and “let’s stay quiet while I see how this is gonna play out.”
the uncomfort zone? that is where i live.
Jupiter in Aries, Quincunx Uranus– Aries fights because fighting is such great entertainment….. Then I retreat and think about it. Then I go back and try to fix the broken pieces. If they get fixed, I have a friend.
My uncomfort zone is ever-evolving
Though learning to distinguish between harming and beneficial discomfort.
Jupiter is in Capricorn in my 11th, and is going thru a whole mess of transits right now which is sooooo utterly liberating! I love my Jupiter, even though it’s the anchor of my T-square…I don’t mind being uncomfortable - in fact, most of the stuff that makes others uncomfortable does nothing to me
(p.s. I’m so happy that you still have that necklace!!
I don’t know!
Jupiter in Capricorn, 8th, 9th house very very loose conjunction with Mars. — you would think I would sort of start attacking somebody…. but I don’t know if I actually do that. *stratches head*
Jupiter in the 7th in Gemini. I voted that I stay until I get comfortable but it isn’t always true. I do alot of wiggling around and going back to things that make me uncomfortable when they are interesting.
I’m pretty sure I don’t usually stay, now that I think about it.
You do put me in the un-comfort zone, I must confess. I do not know why. Sometime I just visit for the logic and mental expansion, or simply another perspective from people’s stories; but from reading a certain posts, I do get an uncomfortable feeling. Not a bad uncomfortable feeling, it’s just nuetral. It’s as if my insides are sliced up in half.
Anyway, a lot of people told me this that my first encounter with people, I intimidated them. One scorpio told me this, “I was intimidated by you. You just look like you’re ready. Like ‘WHAT. BRING IT. YOU GOT A PROBLEM? BRING IT.’ Yeah, I sized you up and I did not want to mess with you.”
I can’t explain everything, and certainly can’t explain that.
Jupiter in Aries in the 1st house.
Jupiter in Pisces in the 9th, as the focus of a t-square with the Sun & Uranus.
I constantly act to put myself in my un-comfort zone, over and over and over again. When I travel, I go long enough to stay there for a while and learn the language & culture, which is not a fun process, but one that is incredibly rewarding. I take classes in things I know nothing about and read books I disagree with. When I can feel my brain struggling agiainst its boundaries, I know I’m on the right track
I think I escape. Jupiter in Libra in the 3rd house.
Jupiter in Pisces 1st house, square Uranus. I don’t think I’ve learned much about handling discomfort. It is a good thing for, like for Korellyn, your brain to struggle against its boundaries so that you may learn. Or at least for it to struggle at all as I was thinking in class today about all the things I missed. I probably don’t like feeling uncomfortable and need to recuperate for a while because of the Cancer planets. I know I put a lot of people out of their comfort zones and don’t know why, but am sort of pleased that I do. Some people have weird comfort zones (again about not blooming where you are planted) as far as foreign countries even different foods or the types that can’t handle their first year of college. They might so clearly feel that they are a product of where they’re from. I am not one of those. My mom told me about how she couldn’t deal with summer Pioneer Camp because she wanted to go home so badly. But there is way more to the concept of discomfort.
Jupiter in Libra, ninth house; I escape if at all possible.
Jupiter in Gemini in the 5th, I keep moving to escape un-comfort.