The other day I was watching a war movie with the AMF. I like war movies, however I don’t like this one, “The Thin Red Line”. But we were watching it anyway. And there is a point in the movie right before all the fighting starts where the first two soldiers go up on the ridge and get killed. Pop! Pop! They both fall.

Seeing this, I told the AMF if I were in the situation, this is what I would want, and what I would probably do. Stand up on the battlefield, that is and take a shot in the chest. “Hopefully a good one,” I said. “Kill me all the way and instantly.”

He didn’t say much. I assumed he understood. I would just not want to go through all the gore that I would imagine were ahead. I’ve already seen quite a bit of gore and I’m just not that interested. I would readily submit to death with no desire to fight at all.

So that was that, but a few days later I mentioned this in an email to my ex, the Special Forces guy. And I’m not sure what all kind of feelings he had about it, but I imagine he was appalled at least temporarily. And this was his response:

It’s part of that duality of yours that perplexes me to infinity. Like you said, you would just stand up and take a bullet… unless it were me shooting it… then you would charge up the hill through artillery fire, pissed off to no end!

And he is exactly right. If he were to have the audacity to shoot at me, I would be up over that ridge with my blood boiling, ready to pummel him. This is the guy I swung the motorcycle helmet at and believe me, I was not fucking around!

So I got to thinking…

Well I was already thinking about Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. I am pretty sure almost anyone can be inspired to violence. Some people can really piss a normally peaceful person off. And I am not claiming to be peaceful. I am anything but! I would take the bullet because I am tired, not peaceful!

But anyway, I thought this was a good story that it vividly illustrates how certain people can affect you in ways that are profound. Because I have been thinking about this for a week now and I can’t think of anyone in the world I would charge up that hill to confront, outside of this one man. Seriously! He should not fuck with me, but if any of the rest of you would like to shoot me, go right ahead!