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The Secret Lives Of Virgo: They All Have Them! Appealing or Otherwise
Just Blathering…
Speaking of the secret lives of Virgo, disgraced politician, Mark Foley is a Virgo.
So is Michael Jackson.
So is the very clean Hugh Grant… who was caught cheating on his model girlfriend with a whore, Divine Brown. Whoops!
How are these for examples of secret lives?
And don’t go jumping on this because there are other, classier examples. For example, Virgo, Sophia Loren. Years ago when a reporter yelled at her, “Hey Sophia! What are you doing with that old man?” (Carlo Ponti)
“None of your business!” she yelled back.
So there you go. Some Virgos are aware of their secret lives, others delude themselves.
For example, Leonard Cohen, another Virgo acknowledges his secret life in his song, “In My Secret Life“. He does it again in another song, “The Future“. But the Mark Foley types are far more common. I mean, he’s an extreme example but this is the point:
Virgo likes to see themselves as innocent maiden do-gooders. The men as well at the women, this is. So they just deny all the heinous things they do which are easily as numerous as the rest of peeps in the zodiac.
Virgo’s cheat on their taxes, on their husbands and wives. They act like punks just like everybody else in the zodiac and just as frequently.
But you best be careful pointing this out to them because by and large, they won’t like it. Virgo wants to be flawless, see. So they project the Pisces, the sign opposite, the sign that knows everything is askew, away from themselves. And this has an unfortunate affect, obviously.
The really smart Virgos embrace and even covet their secret life. And these are the Virgos who have tremendous appeal. Like Sophia Loren.
Isn’t she always pulled together? Look how she presents. Perfection! She’s a textbook Virgo (Virgin). Can you imagine her showing up for work with with her hair messed up from last night’s sex? Forget about it! She’s a Virgo!
But she doesn’t claim sainthood. Obviously she’s drawn to the old man and has been since she was 15. So what do you think they’re up to? Hmm. None of your business!
Compare to Foley who takes a public stance against what he does in private. Ack! That’s bad Virgo.
So what about you? Come on Virgos. Speak! Do you have a secret life or not too sure about that? And what about the Virgos the rest of you know. Do you notice they deny the things about them that are not “pristine”?
42 Responses to “The Secret Lives Of Virgo: They All Have Them! Appealing or Otherwise”
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Your first post about this darker side of Virgo came just in time over here… My stepfather is Virgo, and I stumbled across some less-than-nice things about him. I spent about a month agonizing over whether to tell my mother and disrupt her happiness… Which is where the ‘just in time’ part came in. He’s a good man over all, treats her great, and she would never accept or understand these things about him. It would destroy their marriage, her peace of mind, and most likely her willingness to try love again, and for what? He doesn’t seem to be doing anything that will hurt anything but her pride. So… I bite my tongue and accept that he’s not as perfect as he seems and they get to continue being happy.
(Though I think he suspects that I know, which is making things interesting between us, but I’m not saying a damned thing to him either!)
You’re right about this, Elsa. I have a story for you, but I don’t have the time to type it right now. I will later. All I can say is that now I hate Virgos more than Scorpios.
Though I know that I shouldn’t hate any signs, ime, I should run the hell away from Scorpios and Virgo men.
Elsa, I have so been looking forward to this post ever since you mentioned the secret Virgo life the first time. I’m pretty Virgo, and I have many secret lives - that is I keep my imagination entertained and my life rich - with circles of friends and (potential imaginary) lovers. But I do want to stress, the intention is not to deceive, not at all. No cheating involved, it’s just layers of my life some of which are private, some of which are more disclosed. And you see, magic is, sometimes, in containment.
I just read the Cohen lines, and God it hit a chord, and made me snicker too, because it made me realise that even in my posts, there are secrets between the lines, and I left some out of course :-).
A Virgo I knew would tell me absolutely or relatively jack shit about himself (I’ve probably mentioned this already but it works in this part of the subject too I guess). Not even why he was in the place I met him. And goddamn it I’m curious! It’s not that alluring to be kept in the dark about someone’s backstory. He was born on September 10th, apparently a day for secret keepers as I read in a :cough cough: birthday book.
Virgo rising here. I used to spend time in two vastly different communities simultaneously; one was where I let my hair down totally, the other was where I worried so much about what people would think of me. I thought I would die if the second community knew about my wild proclivities. I had two Virgo boyfriends; one was a notorious liar, the other kept certain activities from me.
My mother was a Virgo, Aquarius moon, and she was an aloholic, a fact she tried to hide for years, to the extent that she would try to pretend the problem was something else, usually “you kids”.
I have beautiful, intense friendships with Virgo women and I loathe Virgo men. (We’re in the same boat, Marly)!
I had a Scorpio friend who was always keen to tell everyone that Scorps like the darker side of life, more than anyone because they are “all about sex and death” how exciting they are, blah blah.
Then she started dating a Virgo! Ha Ha! You want the dark side, baby?
I lived with my friend and her Virgo husband for a year when I moved back from overseas. He was kind, congenial, clean, would always be up early, washing dishes with the tea made. Then he told my friend that I had come onto him. I hadn’t. Luckily she believed me: it turns out Mr Perfect Husband had had numerous affairs and she couldn’t trust him anyway, so she trusted me. Lucky for me. I still can’t figure out why the hell he’d lie about something like that. I suspect he was as delusional as I was stupid and naive about living with a married couple.
OMG, Christine! I believe it. That’s what I HATE about Virgo men. My ex-husband was born 8/30 and my ex-bf 8/29. They were always the perfect ones and everything was my fault. I believed them (stupid Pisces Moon, Venus in 12th). And it’s taking me therapy to realize that not everything is my fault. God, does that make me furious. My ex-bf was exactly like your friend’s Perfect Husband. My ex-husband had Scorpio rising so he was less of a hypocrite (though ultimately more possessive, controlling and abusive). Yeah, I’m a fuckin’ idiot when it comes to men. I’m going to remarket the chastity belt, except in my case I’ll call it the sanity belt.
Egad. I’m a Scorp with a Virgo ascendant. Well, as far as the secret stuff, I’d say that it’s not so much deceptive as various levels of experience with different people. Sometimes it’s almost crazy how diverse the people in my life can be and how different I am with each one. But it’s all me, it’s not a lie or a put on. I subscribe to the “life is a feast” idea and I love taking a little bit of this and a bit of that. But I am very aware that different people will accept only the parts of me they’re comfortable with. The wild ones don’t like the domestic goddess with exasperatingly perfect place settings and the other homeroom mothers can’t handle the Vespa riding mamma in fishnets. *winks*
How does this work in real life? I rarely have one big party with everyone. I have lots of dinner parties with small, select groups.
So what? They can all meet up at my funeral and stare at each other. Now THAT’S a party I’d hate to miss!!!!!
It’s not the lie or the deception that pisses me off, dude. It’s not even about acceptance. It’s the fact that ime Virgo men try to look so perfect and foist their foibles unto others. THAT’S what’s galling! And it’s making other people feel less than perfect or blame them for not being as saintly.
All this hate… People in general do bad things, I’ve found. It’s less a matter of avoiding certain signs than of learning discernment.
I’m a virgo, albiet, a 7th house virgo and all aspected by Neptune, among other things. I can’t explain what is secret about me, just that people seldom get to know me all the way. Partway is a general rule. Is it a double life? or a deeper layer?
I don’t want to be deceptive. But not everyone needs to know everything about me, or can be trusted to have recitence/tact. or would be accepting. Part of the Virgo perfection is keeping stuff within a manageable range, I think, and the things I tend to hide are usually just… thoughts, my writing, and the warts on my right big toe. The first two I don’t want to be spoiled, the third, man, who wants to know about that? Certain things, are just not fit for conversation.
I agree with Ruth. Seems like people are venting! Heehe. I can’t say I blame them (on the one hand). On the other hand, If you’ve had a few people ’spoil you’ against Virgos–well, it’s hard not to let that taint your understanding of the sign. I always remind myself that ‘people are people’–everyone has an Achille’s Heel, and everyone has life lessons.
Maybe interacting with a few Virgos who didn’t use their energies wisely (there’s always a good and a bad use for the energies of every sign/etc) actually taught you (by you I mean those who have had issues with Virgos) a valuable lesson about yourself. I’m learning more and more that framing a so-called negative situation is a priceless gift to oneself. You miss the opportunities to learn more about yourself. You have to see the worth in every situation. You can say ‘this sucks’ or you can say ‘from now on I recognize that what I want is total honesty in my relationships’.
Your Uncle,
H
although i’m a cancer, have virgo rising and moon
ppl think i’m innocent from far, but i’m far from innocent
I experiment(ed) a lot, and still am
Some know, others not…
Best example
When i was 14, i wrote the 21 guidelines to live by for myself
Only one remains
@PD, message 11
I can recognize myself in your words
‘Sometimes it’s almost crazy how diverse the people in my life can be and how different I am with each one. But it’s all me, it’s not a lie or a put on.’
@Ruth, message 13
‘But not everyone needs to know everything about me, or can be trusted to have recitence/tact. or would be accepting.’
Amen to that…
I’m very open and willing to tell a lot about private stuff to good friends, but if they ask me themselves stuff, i withdraw
I had a Virgo friend who would fill my ear with complete details of her secret life. I have to say, after a while I had a hard time listening to her, and began to wonder why she felt the need to tell her explicit stories. Anyone have any ideas why or similiar experiences? I could use some insight on this.
My ex was a virgo8/28 he had a good life acted to outsiders as perfect man while secretly cheating at work.I had to run him off divorced since.I have a virgo friend i love acts goody but will talk about you behind your back in a minute flat.I wont trust a virgo!
Venus(love) conjunct Pluto(sex) in 7H(relationships) in Virgo, plus other important Virgo influences.
I have, and have always had, many secret lives at any given point in time (and always will). But I’m the Sophia Loren kind. Those who need to know, know — I don’t cheat or lie. Others, none of your business.
I’m still not entirely sold on this being a Virgo thing though… I have equal or more Scorpio, and Scorpio is all about secrets, no? So, is it my Scorpio or my Virgo showing?
Elsa, do you have an opinion on the Scorpio-type secretiveness versus the Virgo-type?
Actually, nmaybe you have already answered that, when you said:
“Virgo likes to see themselves as innocent maiden do-gooders.”
Scorpio doesn’t do that.
And then we come back full circle to Gemini lies. Some secrets are ‘lies by omission’, something Gemini is also known for.
Many flavors (of ’secrets’)… same result. Deception. Betrayal. Misleading. etc. (unless you take the high road and tell those who are entitled to know)
Geez! Every sign can be expressed negatively. I think many people take more offense to certain signs than others because of projection and or the need for learning lessons. I like to think there is not a sign I do not like more than others but I cannot say
for sure because I do not have much experience with some signs, especially Aries.
Yes, you’re right, Belle. Absolutely. But it’s also true that one can’t get along with everyone. Scorpios and Virgos trigger my Moon opposition Pluto in Virgo and you know how it is with oppositions. Balancing act.
@ message 19
I think this is true
I like to project an image of innocence to the outer world, while this is not the case of the real me…
What you see ain’t what you are getting, kind of thing
I’m loyal, but only to those who deserve to be treated loyally
Pixiedust - I totally relate. Piles of friends in separate “groups” or categories. The corporate types, the hippie types, the intellectual types, the homemaker types, the… ok the list goes on. I don’t throw parties where they all get together but boy! what a fun idea!! I think I might just have to get them all together and watch. [is that virgo of me?]
I have always maintained a secret life. I thrive on it. Having a form of duality allows me to express all of my “sides”. But, as I have matured ove rthe yeasr i have learned to tone down my urges and adventurousness. It’s like havign a perfectly clean house with one messy room.
I don’t know if anyone is still posting to this, but I read it and had to remark. I’m a Capricorn who is entertaining thoughts of getting involved with a Virgo married man who is a very good friend of mine. We went on a trip to Peru with a group of people and really connected. Ever since he has been trying to take our relationship to another level. After reading the above article I couldn’t help but wonder if my Virgo man has a habit of cheating. I wonder now if he will always be the cheating type.
He’s going through a divorce and if I believe his bs and agree to see him after he as his affairs together, will he cheat on me?
I am a virgo with cancer ascendant and I believe that I feel differently about secrets of virgos. I believe everyone have a private part of themselves that they don’t always want everyone to know becuase you can’t trust everyone. I do believe that Virgos have good intentions, but they make errors just like the rest of world. I have never been able to trust someone completely with all my personal thoughts, or business venture. I believe that as a Virgo I would like to find one true friend to tell all my private and secret details without judgement or rejection, but most people know that just isn’t the case. I’ll never give up completely on finding a friend I can tell all my thought and personal stuff to but, I’m older now and it still hasn’t happened.
Hello. Im going to state my situation …hopfully someone will learn fro this (mainly ’cause i am unable to exxsplain these trends). I am a virgo female and have had dated 3 virgo males and i only saw the dark side and they inly saw my dark side.
FOr tauruses they… they seem to bring out a dark side and are more approachable about it beacuse they are usally open about both sides of their lives.
As for scorpios… i think they are very secritive…but in a weird science way…no offense.
Next…most virgos suffer from their thoughts and need help. I myself pull out my hair in search of perfection…i exscape this through fine art.
Third VIRGOS should never MARRY EARLY …simply so that they may not missunderstood about their “dark” and “bright” side.
I have really gotten fed up with Virgos. There is difference in a secret life & a personal life. If you’re librarian by day & a swinger @ night-it’s your personal business. It’s still the same life/person. I notice virgos have secret lives because they’ll act as if being a swinger is digusting while working at the library. You can’t have a secret life but not accept someone else’s for what it is. The feeling of servitude seems to be a “better-than-you” attitude in order to feel they can better someone (that’s equal to them as a human anyway). Virgos lack of trust is from their own deceit. When you live to cover up your humanity with an ideal of perfection, your everyday act eats away at your trust.
Every zodiac has it’s purpose but, I can’t put my finger on the Virgo’s. It doesn’t make sense for a person to be so compulsive about details & fixing problems but would never admit to having one his/herself. How can one mimmick perfection which doesn’t exist? Your imperfections make you perfectly who you are. Virgos are supposed to be intelligent but they have no opinions just facts. Intelligence shines when you take facts (that anyone can get) then, interpret them into valid opinion. As a human, there should be some instinctive feeling to be expressed about situations. Without opinions or feelings, a robotic mechanism is just stating what you found out yourself. My experiences with virgos have left me believing there is no creativity or originality in them. Being a mutable sign may have something to do with it. Their nagging & criticism makes them so unbearable. The women seem to be empty-shallow-money wanting (not self achieving) dolls & the men to be boring, sexually-feminine, ass kissers of other men with $–who both lack passion for life. Finally so it’s known , I’m a Cancer w/Aquarius moon. I have perfect flaws since I know the value of them. I seem to attract virgos like nats.
I read the one b4 mine & I obviously attract them because the ones I chose to let hover around me find out that I can’t think in-the-box if I tried. I’ve never understood normal which eliminates the possibility of trying to be “perfect.” However, my opportunities seem to come about because of that. As a cardinal sign, I create change if necessary & I guess that’s how they become a part of it by parasiting.
Even the virgo women hover around & I notice clothing/hairstyles that I’ve done pop up on them consistantly. I think a lack of stress is noticed by them because I don’t take the time to live seperate lives. I’m unlimited all day–even tho an aloof Can-Aqua girl is everywhere, yet strong. I eventually get away from the tally-taker opportunists.
Oh shut up “Accepting Imperfections” you probably got played by one so you yap on and on about how much creativity and originality they lack. I’m a virgo and every cancer I have know has been a guy and they’re awkward and they all have liked me. I turned all of them down and they just can’t seem to let me go. I had no real feelings for them because the relationship between a virgo and a cancer is the relationship will go well if virgo lets cancer near her warm heart. So either you’re still attached to a virgo or you’re just profoundly jealous. Stop hating.
i dunno’. my virgo’s just the ascendant. and i had a hell of a time trying to get people to stop treating me like an innocent little girl. (it didn’t help that i always look younger than i am and the two times i had braces -wisdom teeth came in and the orthodontist gave me the second set for almost free because he felt bad that all his work had been wasted- made it worse….)
really frustrating when you’re trying to be an adult woman and guys either come at you with the icky “oh she’s so na¯ve, let’s change that” (8th house creepy things come my way) or “she’s too pure, i can’t touch her” and i just want to figure out what i like and i have a libido, damnit, and, well, what i do is really none of anyone’s business except if i’m doing it with them, but i’d like to do it a little more, please? ; P
guess i’m still dealing with it. guys i like have difficulty getting round the “purity” thing but it had nothing to do with chastity, really. the way i see it.
Virgo ascendent - Double, even triple or quadruple lives.
also, i think it’s less that virgo is “pure” and more that they “purify.” an action rather than a state.
really helpful with clearing out all the messy sticky stuff pisces picks up and finding the gems….
I’m so glad this topic came up! Sure, Virgos/ Virgo rising people have secret lives. I don’t know about us all TRYING to present a perfect front. For some reason, people have always just assumed I’m a sweet, wholesome, church-going person; must be the Virgo rising. Strangers ask me to hold things for them while they go off to get or do something! Christians nod at me in conversations as if I naturally agree with whatever Christian point of view is being presented! (It goes on & on.)
But though I’m a good person, I’m not what any of the aforementioned think at all!
I’ve always figured it had to do with Virgo having Aries on their 8th house cusps (Virgo sun, solar; Virgo ascendant - in the natal chart, using the equal house system, anyway). Some of the wildest secret lives I’ve known of have belonged to Virgo/Virgo ascendant persons. Besides, I prefer to regard it as “private,” rather than “secret”! Virgos are discerning & don’t want to share every part of their lives with just anyone. (And then there are those who don’t accept the secret things about themselves and DO purposely hide some of what they do…)
A virgo teen/woman will sleep with their next door neighbours man, the postman, milkman, their best mates man and their dad and have the cheek to say ‘ I cant stand that girl over there….she such a slag!!
I have 3 virgo friends that i have known for over 25 years and I can honestly say I have only just seen the light with these women. They have fooled me for many years, i really believed those guys were telling tales on them. Their names were always involved in some sort of sex scandal in the neighbourhood.
A guy i knew saw me with one of my virgo mates and he pulled me to one side and whispered ‘where do you know her from?. I was like ‘where do YOU know her from? He laughed and said ‘Everyone knows her’.
I really told him off. I always stuck up for her when guys started saying rubbish but over the years little things have just come to light. Its a long story. Still friends with them now but I put them in thier place. Whenever they start putting down people who live overt seedy lives I say ‘hey, but thats kinda what you did in 19.., so thats makes you the same…how is that any different?’. They hate it, they deny it, or worse still justify it! I say to them i’m not putting you down but just showing you that nobody’s perfect.
PS. does anyone know why they are so condescending to thier partners? My mate talks to her partner like a complete fool!!
This is funny to me because being a virgo myself I find Elsa’s blog on “The secret lives of virgos” to be very true. LOL I kind of consider myself to be a basic text book example of what she’s talking about. For example, I am a neat freak, very organized, classy and pristine type of person that needs to have order in their lives. In fact, I even have a job in healthcare which is perfect for a virgo since we are the sign of service & love to help others in need. At work I am nonstop & continously organizing & looking for better ways to do things. I look very innocent & classy with a sweet disposition. People would never in the wildest dreams guess what I am into. Okay now, here’s my secret… lol, I am into the BDSM & D/s lifestyle. I am extremely submissive to a man that happens to be an Aries. Our relationship actually works very well since Aries tend to be dominant & want to do things there way. It’s all about him & I love it. The fact that I’m in love with him also helps a great to make him happy & to submit myself to him. He can tie me up and shackle me anytime. I am his friend, lover, muse, toy, but most importantly HIS.
NOBODY but him knows this about me. Whenever anyone discusses how disgusting that lifestyle is, I agree & laugh about it with them. If anyone was to ever find this out about me, they would not believe it. It would literally take a lot of convincing for someone to believe that I’m into this lifestyle. I guess you could say I’m more like the Sophia Loren type.. I embrace my secret life. I do feel it’s really nobody’s business.
Pristine Slave….from when your partner knows this about you that is one person too many. Unless you cut his tongue out of his head to ensure he never speaks then how can you be so sure that he has not told just ‘one’ person already?
Just because no one has asked you dont mean they dont know. One of my virgo friends i heard something about her and I was like ‘no way…’ So just for fun i will mention it every now and then about other people and watch her flinch…then she’ll smile put the situation down and then move on to another subject.
The reason why i say this is that it was her partners sister who told me…
Theres only one person who you can trust with your business and thats God himself.
That’s true… I don’t actually like being so addicted to someone so at the moment I’m trying to disengage myself from him some. Now that you mention it, I do wonder if he has. Although I don’t think so because I know a few things about him that I wouldn’t make public to anyone. We have that same mutual respect for each other.
Thanks.
Subject of bdsm and astrology: very interesting. I am often attracted to “Dominant” men (or at least used to be… maybe it’s changing). But I think my Venus in Leo always wins out… that it CAN’T be about them. It has to come back to ME! So as a slave, I always fail….
My Virgo stuff wants to serve but my Leo wants to be the queen. Sigh…
:). P/S:
Don’t worry about your guy telling tales if your relationship is ever through. Who would believe him? You said yourself no one would believe you.
If he ever said a word against your honor (and an Aries won’t do that, anyway, unless he’s *really* a baby) it would make him look bad, not you. I mean *he* is the aggressor in these games after all, not to mention the alleged gentleman.
You can play in this world, and be safe and free. Believe it always.
Thanks Eva
That’s really good advice. I especially enjoyed your comment about an aries not saying a word against my honor. I do believe that as well regarding my bf. I do understand that in today’s world you can never be to careful. So I understand the other peoples comments regarding the possibility of him perhaps alreadying mentioning it. Meanwhile I do enjoy this world with him & feel very free. Back to the subject at hand regarding virgo’s leading secret lives, well… I think that every sign in the zodiac does that to a certain point. I don’t think it’s just Virgo’s but I will agree though that Virgo’s possibly do this to a more extreme degree.
This is so funny! For years, my friends would always call me a nun, and act like there was not a single sexual bone in my body. As I got older and more comfortable with myself physically, Oh the places I would go! Now that “phase” of my life is over (wink wink) and of course I act as if certain things are too torrid, oh the horror. If only some people knew of things that I’ve done in my past, hah!, they would have a fit! I’m the perfect Madonna/Whore here and I love it.
The only problem is now, I’m unsure of whether or not I should disclose certain secrets to the new guy, a traditional Capricorn, I don’t want to scare him away or think that I’m a freak!
Well… what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I probably wouldn’t disclose anything to your new guy. My bf actually liked the fact that he was the first one to introduce me to D/s although it had been a fantasy of mine for quite sometime. I think it had to do more with the idea of being untouched to this type of roleplaying he felt he was able to “mold” me. I think just the whole idea of being your “first” at something gives a man some sort of a thrill. If he likes to get freaky in the sheets, I would probably let him think he’s the first one to break you into “such things” but of course you have to be a willing participant lol. Capricorns tend to not like to much diversity but it all depends what his ascendant and moon sign is too.