His Friend Is Dating Her Friend - Crisis Results

16 Responses to “His Friend Is Dating Her Friend - Crisis Results”

1. jas says on 9/7/06 at 4:22 am:
   

   Your post shows deep concern…
   But indeed, it’s better to but out…
   And if they’re hurt afterwards, give them a consoling shoulder, but it’s better to concentrate on your own relationship then to but in others…
   Blessed Be
   Jas

2. Kuri says on 9/7/06 at 7:17 am:
   

   yknow, i thought advice givers werent meant to outright bash the poster? if you wanted to tell her to keep her nose out of the business, do it in a nice way.

   but yeah, to be honest, i’m the kind of person who would never date someone i dont completely trust i will love because i always worry that i’d lose a friend over it. your worries are very natural, but i guess only time will tell what would happen.

   do you have any proof that their relationship would fail or is it just a hunch? if it’s just a hunch i’d leave it until it gets so nagging you need to talk to one of them about it… otherwise things might get messy =/

   also, if they break up, well, unless it’s under some horrid circumstances, then since you guys are such good friends anyways surely you and your fiance can help them through their difficulties and be friends again =]

   i realise that it’s not as easy as friends in school dating then breaking up but still able to remain friends, but everyone’s a child at heart, i’m sure it’ll work out in the end =]

   L8r,

   -Æ’-KuriÆ’–

3. Marly says on 9/7/06 at 7:49 am:
   

   Dude, yeah, Elsa can be blunt but seriously, I couldn’t even finish reading the letter bc it was getting so involved with details about these people’s lives. Elsa cut through the crap and saw right through it.

4. jas says on 9/7/06 at 8:51 am:
   

   @Kuri
   Was i too blunt in advice giving
   Didn’t think so… i weighed my words
   Jas

5. cmf says on 9/7/06 at 9:52 am:
   

   Sometimes people need bluntness. I think this is one of those times.

6. Goddess says on 9/7/06 at 11:11 am:
   

   Friend-Although it’s clear you care about your friends, there is no way for you to know what’s in their best interests anyway. Maybe they will crash and burn. So what? Maybe that’s just what they need to learn whatever it is that needs to be learned so both of them can have the relationship they want. Or maybe they will use this relationship to do something else they need to do. You have no way of knowing.

   Anytime you try to control others, you’re setting yourself up for a crash yourself. I know because I’ve tried very hard to convince my stepdaughter to make “good” decisions myself. Guess what? It doesn’t work! In fact, for me it had the opposite effect. While most people would have agreed my opinion was “right” in the situation, it makes no difference. It’s her life to do with what she will and the most caring thing I can do for her is respect her-enough to let her make her own mistakes, however big they are. Even if they end up killing her, for that matter. It’s not my choice to make.

   Really, anytime you feel very driven to control ANY situation, there is always a connection to your own issues. That’s where you need to look.

   Do your best to be happy for your friends, as much as you can. Anytime you feel very emotional and overwrought with their issues, look and see how they dovetail with your own.

   Peace out.

7. D. says on 9/7/06 at 3:11 pm:
   

   I think she’s really worried about loosing a friend, both of them loosing a friend.

   And sometimes friends are just to precious to be lost.

   /my opinion

8. maheggo says on 9/7/06 at 3:27 pm:
   

   thanks elsa for the bluntness. It makes it easy to see and not burried and hard to find.

9. Friend says on 9/7/06 at 8:45 pm:
   

   I actually appreciate the bluntness - even if not all of it was deserved, in my opinion.

   Honestly, these two dragged me in by asking for advice in the first place - both parties. Then, when they didn’t take the advice into consideration and made things worse, coming BACK to me for a shoulder to cry on! Very frustrating to me, who usually just puts problems into the open instead of the tip-toe around the tulips approach going on now.

   Yeah, I may be too involved. That’s right on the money! But I can’t find my way clear without pissing off people I care about.

   Perhaps I’ll use my own famous bluntness (which has been in hiding on this situation) and tell them to leave me out of it in the future.

   Thanks, Elsa! This is _exactly_ why I call you my favorite head-check!

10. Elsa says on 9/7/06 at 9:06 pm:
    

    Friend: I am glad you popped on here. I read the comments regarding my manner and have to tell you what I wrote is exactly what I’d have said to my bestest best friend in the world, except there would have been double or triple the swearing! That was pure love up there. Seriously.

11. Shannon says on 9/7/06 at 11:09 pm:
    

    I’m glad the friend popped in, as well. And I like the no-BS approach when it suits, as it seemed to perfectly here.

12. jamie says on 9/8/06 at 10:18 am:
    

    OMG! That was brilliant & hilarious!!! Elsa’s response I mean. No offense to Friend but I thought I’d die of boredom reading her post. In all honestly, though, I totally relate to Friends because I did the very same thing and got serious “burn”!

    I sure wish I knew there was an Elsa when I was sabatoging myself. I would have taken the tongue lashing because it warranted it…..

    As a matter of fact that post of Elsa’s was soooooo funny that I am going to print it, frame it and hang it in my foyer.

    Thanks, Elsa for the artwork.

    P.S. You should run for political office. Honesty is in short supply in that field!

13. Marly says on 9/9/06 at 10:59 am:
    

    Friend, when people drag you into something and ask for your opinion on something and you tell it to them and then they’re angry, those people are drama queens. Let them stew with their feelings. I used to think the same thing: “Oh, people want me to be honest and then they get upset if I AM honest. What should I do? I can’t win!”

    what you should do is be honest and kind and that’s as much as you can do. However, You are not responsible for others’ feelings. And sometimes the truth does hurt but hopefully people are grown enough to think things through and simmer down eventually. And if they’re not and they pout and pout and keep getting you involved in their crap, the thing to say is: Look, I’ve got my only life to live. I’m sure you can handle this.

14. Kuri says on 9/10/06 at 5:54 am:
    

    @jas, no, no, i didnt mean you ^^;;

    @Elsa, haha fair enough ^^;; although i must admit i didnt bother reading this the whole way through… 10 paragraphs… O_O;; =died= i admire your patience ^_^ and i wasnt too keen on reading your answer cos the first thing that i saw was the mass load of swearing then the line about “saturn bearing down on your sun” and my first reaction was ‘oookay, will skip first paragraph…’ then, ’saturn? sun? bleh i dont buy that astrological blah’

    but now i read it again properly after reading jamie’s comment and i do actually find it hilarious ^^;; sorry if i was rude earlier x_x;;

    L8r,

    -Æ’-KuriÆ’–

15. Dani says on 9/15/06 at 4:38 am:
    

    Kuri, maybe you should really read the whole thing. I find that helps.

16. Dani says on 9/15/06 at 4:38 am:
    

    I take that back! You did read the whole thing!

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