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Cunning Aquarian Struggles With Career and Wal-Mart
Dear Elsa,
Every time I search for a job, something inside of me cringes. I’ve held several jobs in the past: a cook, a server, an intern at a ceramics studio and an artist apprentice at a comedy theater. I volunteer too, and with volunteering, I go with all my heart. So why do I feel so incompetent when I am at a local art store doing an interview - is it authorities?
In school I managed cunningly and I was always the head of something: a club, campaign, an event.
Is it the issue of money? Am I actually afraid because my parents are workaholics and my mother had gambled into debt? My financial intelligence, I’m aware, does not have to replicate hers.
Or is it the inability to accept social responsibility? Or the fact that now someone has the money to claim me?
I always thought money orchestrated evil (though good opportunities do come). And though I budget and save extremely well, I cannot rid the suspicion of frauds, scams, skyrocketing college tuitions, competition, & Wal-Mart.
It’s an extreme discomfort to me, as if I am against the world that is dishonest. Please help me. I hope to be free and liberated from this worry. Instead of working for jobs, I want to CREATE jobs. Am I just actively avoiding an issue or is the universe cautioning me for something?
Confusion In Job
Dear Confusion,
You’re not that confused. What you are is authentically eccentric. You’ve got a lot of Aquarius and you want to reform and revolutionize. You want to be independent, change the world and live and be your ideals. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with this.
See you’re okay volunteering because if you’re unpaid… if you’re not paid by Wal-mart or any lesser symbol of corporate piggishness, then you are clean. But here’s the rub:
This is not utopia! This is life on earth and it is flawed. And if you are going to “create jobs” and I surely think you should, then you are going to have to “play well with others”. Others who shop at Wal-mart, or work there, or work for someone who supplies them! For that matter, you may have to sell to them yourself! And will cause you extreme discomfort? Of course! But at least you’ll be getting something done!
The fact is the world has problems. And all you can do is influence your sphere. Beyond that, you can make your sphere as large as possible. But often this means compromise of some kind. So these are your choices:
Extreme discomfort and get nothing done.
Extreme discomfort and get something done.
What do you think?
I think you’re a natural leader and you ought to get something done.
Good luck.
~~
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for me if I’m unpaid I don’t have to worry about being “good enough.” I can go ahead and be great because my fears of failure are suspended… because I’m unpaid I’m not trying to pass myself off as someone who’s worth something.
::dialstherapisthotline::
And all you can do is influence your sphere.
That’s something that took me almost 30 years to understand and put into practice. Wise words.