26
Artist Up Against An Angry Bastard: 10th House Sun, Venus and Mars in Aries
Dear Elsa,
I’m older and have transitioned through a number of careers. I retired early because of health problems. But since I was a five year old, I wanted to make art.
I am now making and selling my art as a member of a co-operative gallery. I’ve worked hard at both my art and my contributions to the gallery. I have financial obligations to it, and growing friendships among some of the artists.
I feel attacked and maligned because the new president is verbally abusive: threatening me, and lying about what I do and what I say. This started when I asked him to follow gallery rules and procedures. I resigned my board position to avoid dealing directly with him. Unfortunately, he continues with lies and verbal abuse, sometimes in front of others.
Some members say he is sick and has a condition. I don’t disagree, and overlooked several incidences initially, but the behavior continues and it is painful to me. The whole situation makes me question whether I am going in the right direction in my life.
I need advice to determine if I should try to stay or if this struggle will slowly kill my desire to make art. Do I need a change in direction? Do I need to find another method of dealing with him? I just freeze when he starts in - it reminds me of my past. How do you deal with someone that angry… should I try to tough it out?
Thank you sincerely for your help,
Artist
Dear Artist,
There is really no choice here. Can you let some angry jackass prevent you from having the career you have wanted since you were five years old? Of course not! That’s not an option. Think about it. How about you quit it all? And then what? ::shakes head:: And then nothing! So you see you are going to have to stay and fight, but I think the fight is going to be mainly with yourself.
Now it doesn’t matter whether this guy is mentally ill or not. He probably is and it may help you to think of him like that but here are some facts:
You are a strongly Cardinal person. That means you tend to be controlling and if you read your post up there, you will see what you are trying to do with this guy. You are trying to get him to follow the rules! With your 10th house Sun and Venus and Mars in Aries, you are trying to police him! And let me tell you something:
I have had very limited success in getting others to color inside the lines! In fact, I have had no success at all! Have you?
Look. Say you have a kid and you force them to comply? What happens? What happens is the first chance they get; they get the hell away from you! They escape! You simply cannot control other people. So you must control yourself. And with Saturn (control) currently transiting your first house (self), this message could not be any stronger. So here is the smart play:
The guy is crazy! Crazy people make their own rules!! They have no interest in doing otherwise. So get this into you head. He is a rule-breaking bastard and there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, it’s none of your business! Running his life is none of your business!
Understanding this, and accepting this as reality, start thinking about how you’re going to work around him towards achieving your life long goal and I think you’ll be happy with how things progress.
Good luck.
~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!
8 Responses to “Artist Up Against An Angry Bastard: 10th House Sun, Venus and Mars in Aries”
Leave a Comment
Recent Comments
- Skye: I love this advice, thanks for that Elsa. I needed to hear t...
- wyrdling: i'm avoiding taking sides as much as i can. though i can ki...
- wyrdling: hard to say, just yet. he's so little.... we do have conve...
- Becca: I'm very verbal. I remember characters and plots from books...
- wyrdling: i more see people grow deeper into their skin... or peel it ...
- goddess: This is beautifully expressed, E. Thank you. :)...
- wyrdling: wow. that sizzles, too ;)...
More
Hi Elsa–
Love the Aries pic. So ferocious.
I am kind of surprised to read this from you, knowing that you place a lot of value on healthy boundaries.
What do you see as the difference between having your personal boundaries, and “policing”? It sounds like no one in their collective is enforcing the rules, and everyone is suffering. Are you saying they should just let this disruptive and hurtful behavior continue? Just scrap the rules because some wing-nut decides they don’t apply to him?
I have Sun in Aries too, and although I totally agree with you that Artist shouldn’t give up his/her career over this, I found myself frustrated by your answer.
BTW, sorry, I realize I shouldn’t use the term wing-nut to describe someone who is actually mentally ill.
As an additional thought, I think pulling back and out of the fray is the best decision. Do not play the game with this person…eventually, he will move onward to bothering someone else.
Take the high road and keep creating your art. Others will notice that he is off-balance and it will not color you in the long run. People notice more than they let on!!
Try not to contribute to the discussions about him…and tame your Aries traits by letting negativity roll off your back. Sometimes your best offense is ‘not playing the game’.
Just Chill. Do your thing…Your Art.
Remember, situations always change…this you can count on!!
“Artist Up Against An Angry Bastard” — laughing
ok, this title REALLY grabbed me
now i go back to read the rest
I really like this piece of advice:
“You simply cannot control other people. So you must control yourself.”
And also the quote Hobo Girl put up for the question about adultery applies here:
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires
than him who conquers his enemies;
for the hardest victory is over self.”
- Aristotle
I think it’s a judgment call how much you want to get involved. Getting involved can be catastrophic, but not getting involved can also cause chaos, or to prolong a situation which should not go on. Sometimes a tweaking in perspective is necessary. Perhaps you can live with some things and not others. So I think Molly’s and Elsa’s viewpoints are both correct. There is no absolute path…
Your Uncle,
Hannah
p.s. incidentally, a friend of mine (a Capricorn guy), always says ‘You do what you can, then you can walk away with a clear conscience’…whereas I tend to either do nothing or do something, but always agonize. Regret isn’t a good emotion, I don’t think. Also, people are people, and how they live and how they react to you are not entirely under your control (of course) so you can try things out and see how they go. They may be very well received and people may benefit from the input, even if it’s harsh–other times it may backfire, but I don’t think an effort is a bad thing. Everything in moderation, even moderation, right? I dunno…
I like how Elsa goes with her gut on things and calls things how she sees them. They may differ from what we might do–but that’s why we write her–for a different perspective. Wooowoo.