Thanks for the interesting comments around who writes (and who reads) this blog. Dani mentioned the Scorpios who lurk the blog but never comment and I’ll tell you something. I know of them. Some of them.

See, I have written online nearly daily for going on six years now and have about a dozen lurking Scorpios I am very aware of. I am aware of them because they surface via email on occasion for this or that or the other thing.

There is one man who comes up to be snarky. I forgive him this, because I know he is only snarky because he adores my ass, so there. When I read his crap I think, “Fuck you back, buddy,” and I think it with a smile.

There are two others out there who only come up every year or two. Yes!! But their mails are potent, very helpful and supportive. They are also inordinately thoughtful, respectful, well-timed, and loving. There is an exchange, it is significant and then down they go for another 18 months.

There is another woman who surfaces far more frequently. Every time I’m in trouble, she’s there. When she senses my energy dropping, she gets under me with hers, and I am very grateful. Her love moves me. And I know her life is hard, so it moves me even more. She is just a very giving human being. The kind you’d want for a mom.

There are two others lurking, who I hate. I fuckin’ loathe them, and I’ll tell you why. They both offered to do something for me…they promised something and did not deliver. And I hate that. Loathe, I mean.

Really, there are only three things that bug the shit out of me and the other two things are very innocuous. I hate people who wear perfume in the gym and I hate motherfuckers who don’t hold the door. The people who are so inconsiderate of others, they let doors shut in people’s faces? Yecch!

But these things pale in comparison to what I really hate which is people who are insincere and lack integrity. Because I figure, what do I ask for? Nothing. I virtually never ask anyone for anything. I have no expectation and that’s a fact.

But by God, if you write me with your big promise of what you’re going to do for me and then forget to deliver, you can be sure I never will. Forget that is. And I will think you a complete shithead…er, scratch that. I will know you are a complete shithead, though I won’t mention it because I have Libra and also because I hate you too much to bother.

Now there are a few others I know of, but these are the six with the largest presence in my mind, outside the people I know in real life. Tra la la.

And to the others Scorpios who lurk here, I have this to say:

Rock on. Glad to have you.

~~
skip to part two…

Dear Top,

What an interesting question. You make him sound like a glutton, shoving food down his mouth. I believe I’d be disgusted as well! I have this picture of Dom DeLuise with a turkey leg in each hand! And you. A skinny, healthy diet conscious Virgo. Yeah, it’s probably not accurate, but amusing just the same.

I checked both charts to find out who the control freak is. And in spite of your concern over what goes into another person’s mouth, you do not seem especially controlling to me. Either does he, so this led me to check your composite - which revealed all.

For the novices, a composite chart is a merge between the charts of two individuals. It’s the chart of the relationship. And these things are static! You get what you get. So Top, what I’m telling you is this intensity between the two of you is hardwired. So is the control! And I realize this does not solve your problem, but it may provide guidance.

It means you can stop looking at what you are doing (should I or shouldn’t I), and refocus instead on the fact that this is what constellates between the two of you, period.

So the real question is, can you stand it? Can you transcend it? Because this boy is a Sagittarius rising. He is supposed to be bigger than life and telling him not to go overboard is never going to work. It would be like him telling you to enter a hotdog eating contest. That’s not going to happen, is it?

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Sleepless,

Yes I do. Grow up. What you are doing to this woman is not cool and if she were writing me, I would tell her to leave your ass high and dry and not look back.

You’re pushing 40, you know. How about learning some impulse control, hmm? How about taking some responsibility for this bullshit pattern and the pain it creates. How about getting your ass to therapy!!!

Look. You’ve got a child. That’s a cue to stop acting like a child yourself. And you want the astrology? Fine. You have a freedom loving Venus in Sagittarius square Pluto - clear the decks. So you have a freedom urge, a surge that is and you throw your woman under the bus.

But in reality, there’s a lot of Cancer in your chart and you are dependent as hell on her. So in effect you are acting like a little boy having a tantrum:

“I don’t need you Mommy!!!”

But the whole world looking on knows different.

Embarrassed? I hope so. You are way too old for this shit.

As far as I am concerned you should make this up to her, starting today. For your sake not hers. Saturn is coming to square your Sun in Scorpio. Grow up, grow up, grow up. Work (Saturn) on your psychology (Scorpio). Take responsibility for Godsakes. Start today.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

A couple weeks back someone asked if others noticed there were a preponderance of questions from Scorpios and Pisces no this blog. I’m sorry, I don’t remember who made the comment. I will try to better keep up in the future, but I meant to agree, sort of. I also get a lot of questions from Aquarius, Libra, Capricorn, Sagittarius and Virgo. But I’ll tell you who almost never writes. Leo! I notice this because I have a large collection of astrology graphics and almost never use the Leo pics I have. Aries, also rarely writes, and we’re light on Gemini (no pun

Dear Confused,

Your friend is not stable. And I don’t think this is the beginning or the end. It just is. From here, you’re going to decide whether you want to continue to know her or not. My guess is that you will. She is obviously fascinating to you some level and this is no surprise. Unstable people are often extremely engaging and if you don’t like to be bored, they make excellent friends! So here’s what I can do: I can demystify some of this for you and I think this will help you find clarity.

One of the core things baffling you is her online persona being so divergent from her offline presence and this I can explain. See, the way a person communicates… the way they come across online is shown by Mercury in their chart, its sign and its aspects. So say she’s got this kick ass mercury going. She obviously does. She stimulates you with her writing.

But then you meet her and the rest of her is there. Her physical presence. Her aura, if you will. And it appears her Mercury complex is very different from her whole self. And often times the contrast is just as you describe. Acute!

Now if you think this is ditzy, it’s not. I am the same way as your friend. I have this hard-on hard core way of communicating online so when people meet me, they expect me to be a… refrigerator or something. You know. A big football player who will kick your ass. But in reality, I am as femme as they come. I am damned near demure in certain circumstances, so you can imagine people’s befuddlement when they meet me. It takes some adjusting.

So I’m thinking if you can understand this it will untangle the situation enough, you can decide if you want to go forward with the whole person, or rather just enjoy her online.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

~~
pictured - Mercury, Hendrick Goltzius, 1611, Oil on panel, 214 x 120 cm, Frans Halsmuseum, Haarlem

I’ve been scarce because I’ve been under the gun, big time. I plan to finish the stabbing thing and also someone asked about the Pluto transit to my Moon. I’m sorry, I don’t remember who! There have been a lot of comments on older posts recently. I guess people are getting here via search or something, and what happens is the comments, the page where I can see them collated updates and the particular comment drops off and I have no idea where to begin to look. But whoever you are that asked, I do plan to write about that and in fact I got started on it before I got waylaid.

I got waylaid by my Saturn transit. With Mars in Leo hotting that thing up, and Chiron and Jupiter involved…well if you have planets or angles in the mid-degrees of the Fixed signs, then I don’t need to tell you because you know! And it’s times like this…

Well sometimes people ask me, “How the hell can you believe in astrology?” And I just shake my head. When you can set your watch by the planets, how can you not believe in astrology? And I can set my watch…

So right now I have Saturn transiting my 7th house (relationships) applying to Venus (relationships). And I can’t even think of all the ways it’s manifesting.

Er…I have support (Saturn) from others (Venus/ 7th), but what others can do for me is limited (Saturn). It’s restricted (Saturn). Because they are suffering or having various hardship of their own.

There are boundaries everywhere. Some of them I’ve put in place, others have been imposed from the outside. Still others are just quietly and intuitively understood and respected (Saturn in Leo).

I have created (Leo) a document defining (Saturn) what I want in relationship (7th house). I have signed contracts (Saturn) regarding relationship.

Think I was doing this shit a year ago? NOT!

And a few days ago, a friend upset me. I was really upset and I told her about it. I felt I had to. The next day we were talking. She has Capricorn and gets insecure.

“I thought I lost you,” she said.

“What? Whaaat? Fuck no. You can’t lose me. We’re friends. You’d have to screw my husband to lose me,” I said. “And I don’t even have a husband! But seriously. That’s not going to happen. Please understand this, okay? I don’t want you to think things like that about me. Don’t ever worry about something happening like that over something stupid because it will never be. Are you going to screw my husband?”

“No.”

“Well then, we’re going to be friends till we die.”

See that? That’s a commitment. And it’s me defining the relationship. I am telling her exactly where the lines are.

And then there are the relationships from thirty years ago. Old lovers popping up from thirty years ago, to offer support! Which is gratifying beyond belief, by the way. There is nothing like it. There is nothing in the world like investing in relationship and having it come back to you. Karma, right? Saturn is karma.

I am also having a lot of doors close on me. I try to go here, or there or there, but no dice. I have a strong feeling of fate and destiny about this when it happens. I submit.

There is a lot of pain. Reality is painful, especially for Venus Neptune like me. But Saturn does not stamp out Neptune. I still dream. I still believe in love, and know if you ever really love someone, it is forever. Real (Saturn) love (Venus) never ends, just like it never begins. If you have it, then you have it and if you have it, life is blessed and blessed forever.

It’s blessed by everyone you love and everyone who loves you no matter where they are and regardless of what they can or cannot do. And real love, no matter how flawed is still head and shoulders above fake love, or false love. And real love is strong. It’s unbreakable.

Really, I don’t think there is anything stronger than love. Do you agree?

Dear Dreaming,

Recognizing your problem is a major step in the right direction - but I don’t see you getting over this habit ever, if you don’t seriously apply yourself. It’s like being a drunk or a drug addict. You aren’t going to wake up one day sober or straight. You’re going to have to fight. You are going to have to make breaking this ‘habit” a priority and no one is going to decide to do that but you.

As for what needs to be done, you are aware at this point that given endless options in this life, you turn to the choice that leaves you writhing around in this delicious sort of agony, pining for your love object. It’s no different than the stay at home mom who opts to pop her Vicodin every day. So what would you tell her? Lay off the pills? Come back to the world?

If you want a new movie, you are going to have to see the temptation and turn away. And you’ll never make it if you do not find other outlets for this energy and I’ll give you an idea what I mean.

I have Venus Neptune myself, and tendencies that are similar to yours. But rather than spend all my love energy on some ungettable guy, I channel as much of it as I can into this work. Service that is. You have to love people to do what I do. You have to care for them. You have to love strangers. And can you see how this is similar?

Because what are you doing with these celebrities? You are loving strangers, yes? So why not put that love that can go anywhere and land on anyone, to better use?

And if you know anything about any of the 12-step programs, in the end they suggest you serve. For your own good! So this is my advice. Use your energy in ways that are constructive rather than destructive to yourself and others. Because get this other Neptune concept: If you are hurting yourself, you are hurting others. Help yourself, by helping others. Help others by helping yourself.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Restrained,

You’re doing the right thing, trying to get help and you need to just keep it up. Keep pounding. Keep chipping at it and sooner or later a piece is going to fall away, which will lead to another, then another, then another. Over time, you can solve your problems, okay? So don’t you give up.

I am not sure what your status is with the psychiatrist or the therapist. You say you “met” with them, but are you in treatment now? Is someone caring for you? Trying to diagnose you? If not, get back in there. And you don’t have to wait for them to figure out you’re depressed. Speak up. Tell them you need help and you need it now. If you have trouble verbalizing this, write down how you’re feeling and bring it to your appointment. Do whatever you have to do!

Now you may need medication, I don’t know. But if I were you, I would get to moving around. Walk! Just around the block. To the end of your street and back. Take this small step and force yourself to do it. You have to start somewhere. People can help, but you have got to help yourself too.

With Jupiter and Pisces strong in your chart, you’ve got a lot of imagination, so how about you use it. For example, if some obese guy can walk across the country, you can walk to the end of the block, you know? Allow yourself to be inspired. Think about transcending. Think about being an inspiration yourself.

There is hope, okay? There is always hope. Just keep doing what you are doing… sincerely asking for help and I am sure the universe will provide it.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Stuck,

People move and move on at different speeds. They move when they damned well please and I don’t think you’re going to be moving anytime soon.

I base this on the fact you stayed married to a man who terrorized you (and your children) for 36 years. I base this on the fact that you state outright that you have no intention of backing off until and unless. And considering this, to be completely candid, I would not be surprised if you stayed attached for the rest of your life.

Don’t like that? Well then you will have to start thinking along the lines of cutting your losses. But right now, you’re not willing. You do not want to think about how much this is costing you in pain. You’re used to pain I suppose. You’ve had forty years of it!

So if you want to think about easing up somehow, or letting something go, or seeking happiness as opposed to victory, then this could wrap up very quickly. But right now, you are determined to fight to the death, and I expect this is exactly what you’ll do.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Ken Wilkinson asked, regarding the Complex Teenager in this world:

“Do you and this teenager have the same rising sign? You mentioned that you are both misleading at first handshake. Just wondering, fascinating advice!”

Thanks Ken, and we don’t! The Teenager is an Aquarius rising which I assume is what lets him connect initially. He says he makes friends easily and then problems ensue. Sounds familiar.

But in my case, I have Jupiter conjunct the ascendant, giving me dimples and a huge grin. I look happy and sporty and very, very approachable. But like the Teenager, look out below!!!!

Here’s an old bit I wrote in 2002 about my situation:

I have Jupiter rising and I appear at first glance, to be at large and optimistic. I definitely go out in the world with a huge welcoming grin. This attracts people to me, however a large number of them run for lives when they learn that in fact, I am an intense piece of work. Like this.

Or I could try to be more superficial? Nah…that’s not going to happen unless someone gives me one of those sneak lobotomies. How about I just be me, and you just be you?

~~

And I am making this sound fun, but it’s not. It’s like the whole world wants to know you for about five minutes! They want to know you, until they know you!! But I will say this: When people like Teenager and I do make a real connection, it is deep and lasting. And I would rather have that than twenty flighty fly-by-night friends.

And here’s another thing…

Just check this blog over the last few days. First it’s full of Henry and his spirituality (Jupiter rising) and next thing you know people are getting stabbed!

What can I say, man? Welcome to the ElsaElsa blog!