Speaking Of Pain…

11 Responses to “Speaking Of Pain…”

1. goddess says on 5/29/06 at 12:01 pm:
   

   i believe a life without pain means a life without feeling, without love. it’s that intense feeling that opens people up to intense pain. so while i don’t enjoy painful experiences, i do what i can to take whatever lessons they offer (which will also make the pain susbside more quickly) and appreciate the fact i have enough in my heart to feel so much to begin with.

2. Stephanie M. says on 5/29/06 at 3:58 pm:
   

   I don’t remember where I first learned it, but the word “compassion” means, literally, “suffering with,” so it is exactly the right word for this entry. It doesn’t just mean feeling sorry for someone.

   I tend to detach and distract myself. An indirect approach suits me best, unless the situation calls for immediate action.

3. Kat says on 5/29/06 at 4:16 pm:
   

   I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I was a great escapist via drugs (recreational & prescription). But I would spiral worse after the numbing faded. On the flipside, I’ve allowed myself to go through the painful epdisodes and although it was horrific, it fucking SUCKED and hated every minute of it. God.. how easy it is to just take the drugs and feel better. I eventually healed and became more aware of my life. So yeah…I choose to feel the pain now as much as it scares the daylights out of me.

4. C. says on 5/29/06 at 5:12 pm:
   

   Everytime you ask a question like this I think about it long and hard, and realize how little I know myself at all. It’s a good thing, even though I’m not sure how to do it quite yet. I think there’s a little bit of the martyr in me but I also tend to be too empathetic (wrong word maybe?) but I get really sad/depresed/hopeless when I see something sad/mean/cruel that I’m powerless to fix as a whole. I have to let it go eventually, or I wouldn’t be able to function.

5. Amber says on 5/30/06 at 4:01 am:
   

   The pain is there and I don’t think it will go away. In my case it is relieved by periods of pleasure though. Actually I was wondering about your opinion on it, since the extremes have been, well, extreme, and it seemed like your cup of tea. I wanted to ask how to alchemize it. I have been discussing it with a friend of mine who is having a rough time. She was on the phone crying and telling me she wanted less pain in her life. And I was telling her: this is what makes you, you. You can only live out of it. I do think pain has a purpose, but I wondered whether this is true for everyone. For me, I know I could not be as good a friend or partner if I did not understand pain and confusion, by going through it myself

6. Amber says on 5/30/06 at 4:05 am:
   

   Oh, and maybe I need to add that in my case it is often self-inflicted. My mind produces very intense worry. So periods of pain and pleasure often have very little to do with the outside world. That’s what I wanted to ask you too: does it matter where the pain comes from. From outer events, or inner worlds - or are these each others mirrors?

7. circle.dot. says on 5/30/06 at 6:12 am:
   

   No, the pain is going to be there, whether I like it or not. But, I’m not going to say “Go ahead! Dive in to the fiery vats of suffering!” because… it really depends how each person functions. But, I guess I do allow myself to feel it, when I write. I try to confront what that feeling is through writing… until I’ve cried most of it out… or But, it is isolating to be there alone with your thoughts, feelings, memories. That’s when I stop writing. And, started talking to someone, usually just one trusted person, who can see through the hopelessness, or someone who’s just going to sit there and *be* with you in that moment, with that pain. This makes you remember who you are… And, it may not feel like it at the time, but the pain makes one’s inner-will just a little sharper and stronger. … Sometimes, I keep thinking… that one we feel this immense pain and struggle is so that we know what other people feel… and to show that another person can still do something, when they think the pain is insurmountable. ….

   Eh, in retrospect, I don’t know if I really allow myself to feel that pain. I think I more likely convince myself to construct something out of it.

8. C. says on 5/30/06 at 6:24 am:
   

   I work. I meditate, allow the pain to rise and fall, sometimes that helps, sometimes it doesn’t. I write. I talk to my best friend, who tells me that this too will pass. But more than anything I work.

   I wouldn’t say that I seek it out or that I medicate it.. well unless you can medicate with work. Which, I guess, you can. I do know that I feel it. No surprise there. I keep waiting to meet a truely narcissistic, hedonistic type of person who just doesn’t feel pain. So far, I don’t think that that person exisits. So we’re all in it together. Which means that pain is part of the natural human condition. That pain, suffering, is natural means that it ebbs and flows. I just try not to let it wash me away - totally. So I work.

9. Daeshii says on 5/30/06 at 10:19 am:
   

   I think pain is a mandatory part of the life experience. My coping skills depend on the crisis, so I manage it in many different ways, from meditation to writing to comparmentalizing until I’m in a better state of mind to deal.

10. Beque says on 5/30/06 at 5:27 pm:
    

    I guess I’m the only one who goes in for avoidance. I don’t find pain useful or educational in any way.

11. silverfoot says on 6/1/06 at 5:50 pm:
    

    “someone who’s just going to sit there and *be* with you in that moment, with that pain”

    that reminds me of this:

    “Listening grants speaking. Take this in. If you give me your listening, I have a place for my speaking, a partner in bringing forth a world with my words, and so my words become more than vibrations in the air and sound waves, they become worlds, conversations between human beings.

    I pour myself into your listening. I give you my words, my worlds, my life. You home me. You, through your listening, give me dwelling. You give me residence. You, being, grant me being. What are we listening? In, through, between, among the words, what are we attending?

    To what do I harken and give back to you in my speaking into your listening? What is the dialogue of creation? To what am I listening? Is “home” in my listening? Is that not the greatest of human gifts? Give me your listening and together we bring forth the world. I give you my listening, and you speak your life. Together we create home.”

    - Dianne Connelly, “All Sickness is Homesickness”

    so yes… pain is profoundly useful. once the disorientation that it causes abates, we find ourselves closer to home…

Leave a Comment

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail