Her Boyfriend is Addicted to Teenage Porn

8 Responses to “Her Boyfriend is Addicted to Teenage Porn”

1. Marly says on 5/25/06 at 7:32 am:
   

   My God. This is the creepiest situation I’ve read here. Great advice, Elsa. I hope she listens to you. He IS a predator. Being a pedophile is nothing like quitting smoking.

2. Shannon says on 5/25/06 at 7:56 am:
   

   What Marly said, seriously.

3. Ronda says on 5/25/06 at 8:18 am:
   

   Has he not already crossed a line by pretending to be 18 to attract young “friends” to his myspace page? If it were me, I’d go to the cops now for advice about this rather than wait for evidence that he’s actually meeting up with these girls/boys.

   And dear person who sent this question in, please please listen to Elsa and RUN!

4. Kathy says on 5/25/06 at 9:05 am:
   

   Well said Elsa and Marly. This whole story is ’sickening’ and the excuses from this type of sexual predator often make it seem like this behaviour is ’sort of’ OK.
   It is not. Nowhere even close to being OK.

   Anyone who actively preys on young and inexperienced teens is not someone I would keep in my Life.
   Ever.
   Not even as a friend-much less a partner.

   Wake up and Move On girlfriend.

5. goddess says on 5/25/06 at 10:17 am:
   

   girlfriend-i’m so sorry to hear about what happened. i know it must be incredibly painful for you to realize this in what you thought was a good relationship. but it’s very important you’re honest with yourself here, because real lives hang in the balance.

   these behaviors are escalating, not diminishing. he’s gone from pictures of teen girls to real-life interactions with teen girls-in other words, he’s moved his pedophilia out of fantasy into the realm of reality. if he hasn’t tried to meet one of the children yet in person (and you have no way of knowing he hasn’t), it’s a matter of time.

   most pedophiles do what’s called “grooming” of intended victims. they develop relationships with the kids, and gradually prepare children to become more compliant, seperate them from their support systems emotionally, and do whatever they can to make them less likely to resist the abuse or report it when it happens. there is no “just harmless chatting” between a pedophile and a child. the situation you describe is the first step any pedophile would take in preparing specific children for sexual abuse.

   think about it. after having been caught several times, it’s just gotten worse. now, he’s in a situation where he _knows_ it would be in his best interest to promise profusely never to do anything even remotely like that again, true or not, and he still can’t bring himself to say that. why? well…the most reasonable conclusion is that he’s wanting a fallback for the next time you catch him.

   it doesn’t matter if you consider it an addiction or not. it doesn’t matter how strong his compulsions might be. it doesn’t make it ok to prey on children, regardless of how badly he might want to do it. in fact, the more of an “addiction” it is, the more dangerous it is. the more likely he’ll act on it.

   if it were me, i’d scour every phone bill, every credit card bill, every bank statement, every computer file, every bit of information i could find to see what evidence there might be of him acting on these urges. i’d do my best to warn the authorities, plus the children and their parents if possible. and probably anybody else who would listen, for that matter. on my way out the door.

   he may be charming as hell, but charming doesn’t equate with being a good person. your memories of the good times won’t do much to comfort you when you find out he’s victimized a little girl, for you or the little girl. ’cause i hate to say it, but that is sure what your future looks like if you stay with him.

   good luck.

6. Marly says on 5/25/06 at 12:02 pm:
   

   Exactly. Look, sociopaths ARE charming. That’s their main tool, that’s how they operate, otherwise who’d be foolish enough to be around them? Charming does not necessarily equal wonderful, much less good. I wouldn’t go around doing any more sleuthing, though. You already know enough to go to the authorities since he’s passing himself off as an 18 y.o. man. Let them do the footwork and scour his bills, etc. YOu just get the hell out of there. The longer you’re around him, the higher the likelihood that he will lie or con you into believing that it’s all a mistake. Listen to Elsa, call the authorities and get the hell out of there as soon as you can. Know that there is such a thing as being an accessory to a crime and who knows if he’ll end up lying or manipulating and getting you involved in this.

7. sarah says on 9/14/06 at 6:11 am:
   

   this is really upsetting what is wrong with the men of today there is no respect for women or young women at all. just get out and don’t stop!

8. josie says on 2/23/07 at 9:58 pm:
   

   my boyfriend of 5 years was very abruptly removed by the FBI in October 2005. He was sentenced in August of 2006 to 7.5 years in prison.He didn’t have a myspace account, and to my knowledge was not contacting any minors…He did however have thousands of images on his computer, a small # of videos, and he used sexually explicit photos of younger children as trading cards to get more of his preferred age group. (13-15) It has taken me a very long time to absorb all of this. I loved him with my whole heart, and he was my world. NOW, I get to wonder if the last 5 years of my life was a big fat lie, and I get to feel guilty about missing this man who lived two lives. Its hell. I feel like I should have known, I contstantly seek hindsight in this. I feel for the girl who is in love with this man who has two lives as well. They are so normal there must be some mistake is what you think. Its a terrible feeling. Who knew how many victims there would be.. Who know I’d find myself in this mental space.. Like i said, its been a while now, but I really have no respect for men anymore… I don’t trust them. Anyway, I hope this gal sees this for what it is, no matter how hard it may seem.. LISTEN to the people on the outside looking in. They are right.

   Take Care,

   R

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