It doesn’t work out. She can’t get the address of the SML because there is no SML.

“Well, how do you like that?” she said. “Now what?”

“Kathy, I don’t think it matters what. We can get coffee anywhere. Just drive.”

“Okay, Elsie. I’ll drive,” she said, grinning. “Where do you want to go? We can go…should we go to Broadway?”

“Sure!”

“What’s there?” she asked.

“Freakish people,” I said. “People who wear weird shit because they like to be seen. Er… people your age go there and…”

“Piercings?” she asked.

“Yeah. Whatever they can think of,” I said. “To make people see them. Let’s go. That’ll be fine with me…”

She waves her hand, no. “Or we could go downtown,” she said. “Want to go downtown?”

“Sure,” I said. “Ok, downtown.”

“How about I turn here?” she asked, indicating a side street nowhere. “Want to go down this street?”

“No. Nothing there. Turn if you want, but no coffee…”

“Okay, Elsie.”

We wind up going backwards down 6th. Or whatever it was. She was talking the whole time of course. As we zoom by place after place after place. I keep my mouth shut and next thing you know, we’re back on Speer.

“Boy Elsie,” I don’t know. I really wanted to go the SML…”

On that I lost it. “Of for godsakes, Kathy, what is it with you? Fuck the SML! Listen. If you keep driving this fucking car…if you don’t pull over sometime soon, I am not going to want coffee! What I’m going to want is a drink! Two of them!” I said.

She roared.

“I mean it! What are you? Some sort of Asian over-achiever?”

She roared.

“You are, aren’t you? You’re an Asian over-achiever and you meant to find the coffee shop and damnit, you are not going to fail!”

She roared. “I am!” she said. “I am an Asian over-achiever,” she said, grinning.

“Well, great! Some of us just pull over and eat any burrito we see! Doesn’t have to be the SML burrito for chrissakes! Just a burrito! And I can see this is going to be the end of burrito eating for me, if I’m going to hang with you!”

She laughed. I noticed the sexual innuendo but kept it to myself.

“And you aren’t going to let this go, are you? I bet you go home and look that fucker up on the internet. I bet you research. You’ll make calls.”

“I will do that,” she said.

“I know!” I bellowed.

“I’ll get on the internet,” she said. “I’ll try to find…”

“I know,” I bellowed again. “And you’ll find that fucker and call me up! Okay Elsie! Heeeeey Elsie! Remember that place we were going to try? Well, I found out where it is. So we can go now…”

She roared. “I probably will do that,” she conceded.

“Well, that’s fine. But right now let’s go somewhere else, do you mind?”

“We’ll go downtown.” She announced.

We’d decided to go Maggiano’s because I had some cash left on a gift card.

“I got pissed off at a car dealership,” I said (Mars/pissed, Car/Mercury.) “I called them a bunch of fucking fuckers and they gave me this card.” I explained. “To shut me up,” I added. “So we won’t have to pay! They can pay,” I said.

“Sounds good, Elsie!” she said, beaming. “Great!”

Five minutes later we were stuffing coins in the parking meter, and then we headed towards the pedestrian mall.

“Which way?” she asked, stopped at the curb of the 16th street mall.

“I have no idea. I don’t get out. Let’s try this way,” I said. “If we don’t see it, we’ll turn back.”

We walk three blocks. No Maggiano’s. ‘Think it’s further up?” she asked.

“Probably,” I said.

“I’m going to call,’ she said, pulling out her cell phone.

I just shook my head. Like I said, I’m from another generation.

“That’s it. Get your device out, Kathy…” She smiled and I thought it was more sexual innuendo on my part. I amuse myself like this all the time. Meanwhile, the gal on the phone could not tell her how to get to the restaurant, even though we were a block away.

“Shit!” she said.

“Just get the number,” I said, “Or ask them is it East or West from Welton,” I said, glancing up to check the street sign.

But no. The girl could come up with the info. She gave a cross street though, so I walked over, grabbed a map so we could figure it out the low tech way.

“Er…this way,” we said in unison.

Next thing you know, we’re seated on the patio at Maggiano’s as hoped for.

‘We’re here, Elsie! She said brightly. “It sure is a nice day! Not too hot…not too cold…

I reached for my margarita and sucked half of it down. Damned chick. “I’m going to have the waiter take our picture, okay? “Even though it’s embarrassing since you’re Asian.”

We both snort. A few minutes later, the waiter snaps our pic and there we are. The moment frozen in time.