Dear Elsa,

My marriage is ending, which is a very good thing. I am seeing someone else though (a Scorpio), who is adding to the confusion in my life.

He is foreign, ambitious, passionate, and exciting. When I am with him, everything seems so effortless and my problems seem manageable. Because we both are very busy people, we do not spend a ton of time together - but the time we do spend is very fulfilling. He is very demonstrative and affectionate physically and verbally, and tells me he loves me and such. However, this is all tempered with days when he is not exactly cold or ambivalent, but close to that.

He’ll be distant for days, and then jump back to being adoring and attentive. It will seesaw like this. Days that are so lovely… then days that are upsetting, because it seems like we are wasting what precious time we have together. This confuses me.

Is this all just a huge mistake? He has been patient and supportive for the most part, but there are those times when he gets almost fatalistic. There are a million other things going on in my life that make every day a trial, and he has been the one place where I feel calm and like I can be myself for better or worse. But then there are those days when his distance adds to the pressure.

I am so confused, I don’t even know what my question is. Is this worth it? I do absolutely adore him but are we just too different? Is this just crappy timing, or could this work?

Signed,
Overwhelmed