Thanks for all the feedback on the moderating of comments on this blog. I discussed this with my editor this morning and he said he felt we could easily create a “culture of positive energy” here. He pointed out; the comments that have been posted to date have overwhelmingly been helpful and constructive, and I agree with him.

I think enabling comments has added tremendous value to this blog. It’s terrific when someone shows up to support one of the questions writers by sharing their similar experience, or offering their perspective. It is also a great help to me, when people fill in, because besides being limited by the format of this blog, I am working with a deadline. I need to have tomorrow’s blog, ready to go.

So based on this, we’re going to do very little. If a comment is nasty, mean spirited, unconstructive, it will be moderated. Everything else will fly and hopefully we’ll wind up with a blog that is safe, but not sterile.

Thanks again.

Dear Lovin’,

I’m sorry. I think you are “one of the pack”, though I might have found a gentler way to say that. I think this because men typically make it very clear when they want a woman exclusively. For that matter they usually make it very clear what they want in general, so based on your post, I think this guy likes to kiss you and that’s about it.

Regarding his coming on then backing off… it’s possible he is only serving his Leo ego. You know. He wants a damned harem interested in him, if he can manage it. And it doesn’t sound like this jibes with your desires - so if I were you I’d cut the rope.

As to this pattern of coming on too quickly, you have some work to do. I see your problem as a boil, so I’m going to slice it open so it has the opportunity to heal.

First, you have a lot Libra in your chart and Libra is always co-dependent to some degree. So basically you are trying to give these boys what you think they want. And in the process you are losing sight of what you want. So how about I tell you what you want?

With Moon, Venus, Pluto conjunct in Libra, you desperately want to be partnered. And that’s okay. I want to be partnered too. But with who? Not with any son-of-a-bitch who comes along, okay? And this is where you’re getting jacked up.

With Saturn square to all that Libra, you are insecure around what you are worth and what you deserve. And you see what happens. You serve your co-dependent self up on a platter to whoever might be interested and I don’t have to tell you where it leads. So here is my advice:

Forget the surface games. To be emotionally satisfied (Moon), what you want is a partner (Venus) with some depth (Pluto)….who can commit (Saturn) to a real (Saturn) lasting (Saturn) relationship (Venus) that empowers you (Pluto).

I suggest you keep your pants on until you run across a man who has the potential to fit this bill, and stop wasting your time and energy on those who don’t. Because if you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll never find him. Let me put it another way. ::smiles::

Let your pheromones build up until you meet someone worthy… and then let it rip. That’s what I do, anyway.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!
~~
pictured: Libra and Her Sparrow, 1907, Sir Edward Poytner

Naomi Campbell arrested in NY after an argument.

“Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested at her Park Avenue home on Thursday after getting into an argument with a woman, New York City police said.
Charges were pending, a police spokeswoman said.”

Naomi (May 22, 1970) has Mars in Gemini square Pluto in Virgo indicating an explosive temper. Transiting Pluto is setting off her square and I don’t have a birth time, but I suspect her Moon in Saggitarius is involved as well, since she was fighting with her (moon-ruled) housekeeper.

Also, I ran across this blog. She’s a divorce attorney copping to using astrology to help her clients resolve conflict.

“Being a divorce attorney who is always looking for other tools and techniques to use in helping clients overcome conflict and move smoothly through the transition…”

Smart! And courageous to say so publicly, I’d say.

Baxter noted his comment was moderated and I wanted to respond.

All comments are moderated on this blog and I will tell you exactly why. It’s because this is an advice blog. And consequently, it is dependent on the people who send the questions, so protecting them is of paramount concern. Now here’s the story.

I post some of my advice blogs to blogcritics…some three months in arrears. And the comments over there are not moderated. So one day I posted a blog and the gal who wrote the question got positively slammed. She was called a ’stupid bitch” for one thing. And some other churched-out wing nut suggested she go get herself raped at a biker bar, all because she was unhappy in her marriage and wanting to divorce.

Well, hell. People rarely comment over there and when they do, it is usually to flame me which doesn’t bother me in the least. But this other was horrible. And I don’t know what happened with that one post. For all I know, the blog was linked to some conservative board somewhere and they organized an attack. But in whatever case, it sure got my attention.

See, I need questions to maintain this blog. And if the people who send them are injured, then they aren’t going to write. So this is why the comments are moderated. Do you wonder the rules? Well they’re simple:

No attacks on the people asking questions!

Anything else is fair game and to date nothing has been censored. Nothing. But I have to say, the gal on the porn blog, the Pisces…well she took some heat. And it made me very uncomfortable.

I wondered if I should do something. I wondered if I should write to defend her or stop the comments. It was a real dilemma for me.

I didn’t want her hurt, but I also did not want to censor anyone. And I know that given time and space, frequently these things resolve themselves. Someone will step in to defend the person being attacked for example. So I did nothing and boy was I glad when she showed up to defend herself.

But not everyone is going to be able to do that. And they should not have to. People are not writing me so they can be attacked by a mob, like what happened on blogcritics that day.

My editor and I are trying to find a balance. This blog is fairly new and comments have only been enabled for about a month so “policy” around this is still being developed. But I can tell you this for sure:

People need to be able to ask questions and have some assurance of safety. And I will protect that over a person’s right to pontificate.

So how do you think we’re doing? All input is welcome and very much appreciated.

Dear Loveless,

You are not going to be able to live in this world and avoid pain. In love or otherwise, pain is always a possibility and it’s not necessarily the worst thing that can happen.

For example, in your case, it is “pain” that motivated you to write me. And it will be pain that ultimately forces you to get back out there and love again.

Here’s the astrology: you have Pluto (pain) opposite your Venus (love). I do not doubt you have been devastated in love. And you have tried to amputate this part of your nature, but it’s not working is it? It’s not. You are in more pain than ever and I have to suggest you get comfortable with this… and yes. I’m serious.

I suggest you dive head first into your love pain. I suggest you wallow and you writhe around in it, because this is way to get clear. And I’ll tell you what to look for, when you’re down there.

I want you to look for your own powerful love. Whatever these men did to you… they could only hurt you as badly as they did because of your own depth. Would a superficial person have been as devastated as you were? Hell no. You got hurt because of your ability to love intensely, which is your gift as well as your curse. And it’s a piece of you, a part of you that you cannot divorce, so please…

Try to embrace this part of you that wants and needs to connect deeply with another person. This is the love you have to give and need to share, even it hurts. Know why? It’s because this is who you are.

Would you rather be some flip little chick, one inch thick? Well, would you? I don’t think so.

Personally, I love to the bone. I love until my heart hurts inside my chest. And that pain is beautiful, can you see that? Keep looking until you can. And then go out there with your awesome love and find yourself someone who wants nothing less than what you’re offering. Because people like that exist, I promise you that.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

~~
pictured - Pluto, Agostino Carracci, 1557

Regarding the blog Trying To Be Less Aggressive In Relationships - Marly asked:

“But there are people who are too desperate, no? How would that show up on an astrological chart?”

Marly, first thanks for your comment. This is the second time you have provoked me and I appreciate it very much.

Hell yes, there are people who are too desperate! But I don’t think there is one significator of this in a chart. Because think about it.

We are all desperate! Every single one of us is desperate for something. If not constantly, then at some point in our life we are scratching, clawing, cloying after something we want desperately.

So I would not go looking for signs in other people’s charts that would identify them as ‘too desperate”. You know. Let’s isolate these poor souls by some aspect in their chart because let’s face it. We are all poor souls.

And I’ll tell you something else. Things and people change. Desperate today does not mean desperate tomorrow. Does it?

Dear Tortured,

Well, if you want to keep your marriage… keep your wonderful guy, you should probably quit your job. Do you want to keep your marriage? It sounds like you do. It sounds like you know this guy is a cad at heart. It sounds like you know you are being used, and ultimately one way or the other, you will be sacrificed.

How?

Well if you screw him, there goes your marriage. It will never be the same. And will you wind up with this guy? Hell no.

If you don’t go that route, ultimately you will have to quit, because eventually he either crank up the heat so high… that’s his hand between your legs… or alternately, he will turn on you.

How?

Well if you won’t play, then it’s no fun for him. If you will not writhe around in your bed at night, thinking of him it’s no fun for him. And at that point, guess what? You’re fired!

If he doesn’t fire you directly, he will manifest the same result in a passive aggressive way.

How?

He will cut the flame completely. No heat for you! He’ll freeze you out.

Getting this?

You are an object to him and you know it. I say, walk. Today if possible. And don’t worry about getting another job. Everybody wants to hire a hard-working Virgo / Capricorn like you. There is no need to put up with sexual harassment. Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Thanks very much for the great comments on the Astrology of blogging bit. I have a few other thoughts, strung together from various sources so I’ll throw them out here in hopes of provoking more dialogue, because this really is a very interesting topic to me.

In spite of the comments, I still hold that blogging is a Sagittarius thing. I am certainly preaching from my soapbox on a blog and I have been since 2001. And what comes to mind is the power (Pluto) the collective (Pluto) has with this ability to broadcast (Sadge) around the world.

A primary example of this is when blogger Drudge of the Drudge Report, reported on Monica Lewinsky in 1998, nearly bringing down the American President in the process. Now that’s impressive.

And now it’s 2006 and we have the Gawker Stalker reporting on the movements of celebrities in near real-time. And technorati collates information and updates very quickly…meaning Joe Shmo can get the word out…any word out, in no time at all and that is power! And consequently, we don’t need the paper anymore. We can get better news, faster and cleaner by reading blogs.

So the other night I was talking to an astrologer who contacted me after reading my blog for two days. And man, was he interesting. I won’t identify him because it was a private conversation and I don’t have permission. And he can surface in the comments if he wants.

But he mentioned the problem the Internet poses for a politician (guess) who might like to spin the news. There is considerable control exerted over the traditional media but the Internet is a problem. If things get dicey, might they shut it down? He wondered. And with Pluto in Sadge, I don’t think this can be counted out. We’re all standing here on our soapboxes shouting into out megaphones (Sadge) and the whole thing goes black (Pluto). Hmm…

But that is all conjecture. What is real, for sure is this: All these men and women around the world, recording what they see and think and feel is enormously powerful. I know that blogging has changed my life completely and irrevocably.

And what about you? Has blogging changed your life? How?

Dear Aggressive,

I think I like you better the way you were. Er… the way you are organically that is. And to be very candid, I think this new thing you’re trying is ridiculous. Know why? It’s because if you want a man who is going to love the way you are, then you are going to have to be the way you are. This is as opposed to some cartoon girl you imagine, and I think this will be clear if I use myself as an example.

I am not a demure person. I am not coy. So if a man wants a woman like that, he is not going to want me, is he? So what if I decide that demure is the ticket, and coy is the way to go? And rather than laugh out loud the way I do… and rather than blurt things the way I’m inclined to… and rather than shock, which comes natural to me… how about I go out in the world and blink my lashes at men? And while I’m at it, why don’t I wear some boring clothes and pretend I have no opinion. How about I just smile slightly all around the town, with one shoulder drooped. Think that’ll work?

Well, yeah. It will work, all right. I’ll get me some bastard that bores the hell out of me. And a week down the road, ten days down the road, what do you think is going to happen? Well, I’ll tell you. Sweet little Elsa is going to blow a gasket! And that man is going to run for the hills when that happens, so just exactly what would I have accomplished?

Here’s the astrology. You have Venus in Virgo, with Saturn conjunct out of sign. You think you need to be perfect and you also think you’re broken somehow. You think you need to work (Saturn) for love (Venus). You think you have to control (Saturn) relationships (Venus).

But this is misguided. Your chart as a whole is as dynamic as they come. It’s just this one little piece hanging you up and I’ll tell you how to resolve it.

Saturn asks that you have integrity. And it is integrity if you constantly hit your brake and thwart your natural rhythm? I don’t think so. Go back and read that other post. The person I described there is you. Get a clue, okay? You’re not timid and you never will be. And lots of men want a woman like you, so don’t worry about that.

My sister said it best. “If you have the right man, you can’t do anything wrong. Including start your period on your white dress,” she added. And she was right about that. If you doubt it, just ask any man on this planet. And I realize my response is somewhat incongruent with your post but what I do is read charts and yours says you are a lot less fumbly than you think.

I say be yourself. Be as authentic as you can. Do what you want, when you want and if they guy bolts, so what? It means he is not the man for you, and nothing more!

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

~~
pictured: The Birth of Venus, 1879, Adolphe-William Bouguereau; Oil on canvas, 300 x 218 cm; Musee d’Orsay, Paris

A reader asks:

This is kind of a general world question, not specific to me. A couple of years ago, blogs became a very big deal. Everyone and her brother was writing a blog. But the whole blogging phenomenon seems to have died down a lot recently. Is there anything astrological that could explain this fad?

~~
This is out of my realm of expertise but I’ll offer my thoughts and if we’re lucky, some other astrologers will offer their views in comments. First, I’m, not sure I agree that blogging is a fad that is dying or has died down. I don’t think it’s a beanie baby thing. Now that was a fad.

Back when everyone was collecting everything there were a bunch of planets lined up in Taurus, the sign that rules “possessions” and is known horde things and hold on to them forever. Just ask my son, a Taurus who wants to save the Spiderman packaging his underwear came in.

And because it is “as above, so below” when all these planets were stacked up in Taurus, everyone was hoarding “stuff”. Women my age were lined up early in the morning to buy the new bean bag toy and people were greedy too….another Taurus trait.

For example, here in Denver, they gave out these beanie babies at a Broncos game, free with the price of a ticket and people were scalping them outside the stadium that night for $1000 and up! And get this. Some people wouldn’t sell, lol!

So anyway, I did see this one coming. And I wrote about it. How when planets moved on this fad would unravel and it did. And I remember the day I knew it was over. Martha Stewart, who was showing like items grouped together to decorate, started showing clear surfaces. Uh oh!! And right behind that, Feng Shui started getting mainstream, the Fly-Lady came on the scene, etc. And next thing you know, we’ve all got out garages stuffed to the rafters and we’re thinking, what was I thinking when I bought all this shit?

But does this describe “blogging”? I don’t think so. Blogging is essentially self-publishing. Publishing is a Sagittarius thing. You know. “Go tell it on the mountain”. Blurt out your truth! So I would look at Pluto’s transit through Sagittarius to describe and explain the blogging phenomenon. So what’s that mean?

Well, with Pluto things “erupt”. For example, when Pluto was in Scorpio (sex, death, taboo)… it was all about incest and repressed memories. This stuff was on the cover of every magazine. You could not escape it.

Then came AIDS. Another eruption. And here’s my point.

Pluto left Scorpio and there is still AIDS and there is still incest. These things are lower profile. They are not NEW news, but they are part of the landscape now. And this is what I think the future holds for blogging.

I think blogging has erupted like a volcano. And the lava flies, right? But when it hardens the way it does, the landscape is altered. Did beanie babies alter the landscape? No.

So there you go. Blogging is not a fad. I think it’s here to stay. What do you think?

Skip to part two…