Dear Overwhelmed,

I am very sorry to hear you lost your brother, and that things are continuing to go south. I wish I had some magic. I don’t, but you do.

I know you are in a very difficult period, but you have superior coping skills, and please don’t lose sight of this. Anyone who deals with a sibling’s threats of suicide for years, the way you have has is no weak link. This is not the first hard time you’ve had, right? Not by a shot. So do the way you always do it. One step at a time.

On your job, I do not think you will go begging. It is a competent, skilled person who can get a body home from the other side of the world, in the midst of their grief. And I am not trying to injure you by bringing this up. I am just trying to state facts. And the facts are, when you need to get things done, you get them done. And if you need a job, you will get a job.

As for this rotten stretch of life, I don’t think you have another hit coming. So just try to transition with as much grace and class as you can. It will help to keep in mind which things are outside your control. The things that want to die will fall away. As you mourn, you can take stock of what is left, and try to focus there.

Your home, for one thing. You still have it. You still have your heart, your drive, your ambition and your soul. You also have your perspective, and your faith, your quirks and your tenacity. You have tremendous fire and you have focus. So yeah. Some things are dying, but anyone who counts you out is a fool. Much love and good luck.

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