Dear Circles,

Great question, and congratulations on your engagement. Here is my wedding present: some advice.

It’s great you’re in love, but the main thing to remember is that you are still you. And who are you? Well you love freedom, don’t you? With Uranus conjunct your Sun, you can’t tolerate being tied down or restricted. And falling in love is not going to change this, not even one iota.

That does not mean you cannot commit. But you need to commit to more than just being married. You need to commit to maintaining yourself as an individual. Because if you lose this… well I don’t have to tell you, the relationship will fail shortly thereafter.

Now just because you have not done this before, does not mean it cannot be done or that it cannot be done by you. It surely can, just get this straight. Your marriage cannot be “normal”. It can not be “traditional”. It cannot be the way other people do it, or the way it’s supposed to be done, etc. etc.

Because guess what? Your man is an Aquarius rising with four planets in Sadge and he can’t tolerate being tied down either! So don’t trick each other. Don’t try to be people you aren’t. Get married but leave the door open, both front and back. Make your own rules and be willing to reinvent your relationship when it starts to get stale on you. Do this and you’ll be fine. Actually, you’ll be better than fine. You’ll be happy as hell.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Perfectly,

She must be really something to have you jacked up like this. Because, come on. You have the chart of a very intuitive and insightful man. I’m actually very surprised you’re writing for advice, but you are, so I’ll offer some.

First, she either likes you or she doesn’t. Loves you or she doesn’t. With spider senses acute as yours, you should have no problem feeling this out. Do what you always do, maaan. Probe! Is she responding to you? She must be. With this much Scorpio in your chart, I can’t imagine you would be fascinated with anyone who did not produce energy, or have the ability to exchange it.

But you asked what I would do, so I’ll tell you. I would proceed. As if there is actually a choice! ::laughs::

And regarding the age difference, is it a problem for you or for her? If you don’t know, find out. And I’ll tell you what. Bottom line, you have five planets in Aquarius. This makes you as “individual” as they come. You are TRULY a unique rabbit.

So getting back to basics: she either likes you… or not. Good luck.

~~
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Dear Tired,

Are you doomed? I hope not! I’m at a bit of a loss here. It’s always freaky when the chart in front of you is incongruent with the way a person presents. And I’ll tell you what. I believe the chart over the person.

This is not to say I think you are lying! Obviously you’re not lying. But your chart describes a high energy, optimistic, assertive, passionate, and creative person. And there is nothing going on as far a transit is concerned to cause this level of lethargy in a person with as much energy as you possess. So it leaves me to wonder if you are depressed. Are you depressed?

Wondering this, I took a peek at your progressed chart and sure enough, you have Saturn (difficult, depressed, fear) square your Moon (mood) and Mercury (your mind). That’s pretty hard core. And when something like this sets up in the progressed chart, it’s quite long-lasting.

If you do nothing, you will see some lifting in about a year - very slow progress, but maybe you should do something. I would. A “few years” is a long time to live in such a diminished way. It’s possible a psychologist or medication could help.

It’s also possible your thyroid is out of whack. That would be the first thing to check. Because an under/over functioning thyroid will cause every symptom you describe. So this is my advice: see a professional.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Double Pisces,

Anyone with their Sun, Moon, Venus, Mercury and Chiron in Pisces is going to get thrown under the bus - PERIOD. But I wanted to help you, so I looked to your stepdaughter’s chart hoping it would yield something and it did.

For one thing, now I know your head is on completely straight. See, I thought she might be a generic teenager! You know. Duck and cover until they grow up. But this is not the case. This gal is a true conundrum, so how about we talk about her.

First of all, she’s a Gemini rising, so very naturally she’s two-faced. Forget about curing this! She is going continue to pull this crap because it’s “interesting” for her.

Further, her Moon (home) is in the third house (more Gemini, the Twins) and what’s she got? Two homes! Two Mothers. Yes. And this is as it should be.

She’s also got a stellium in Scorpio. She very willful and has some serious muscle and she wants to flex it! This is what early life is for, yes? She needs to find out who she is and what she can do. And last, as if this is not enough, she has a second stellium in Capricorn. Can you say “control freak”?

::laughs:::

So there. I think knowing this will help. You’re going under the bus and she’s not! Got that? Every time! Thing is, eventually this will catch up with her. Because no one but parents put up with this kind of shit.

So basically what you have is a super-angsty teenager on steroids and all you can do is use your Pisces to work with her Scorpio. Because there is great affinity on an intuitive level. That, and read up on Gemini. Because once you understand the nature of the beast, your compassion will kick in. And she’ll grow up, of course. She’s definitely holding some excellent cards. Hopefully you can help her toward a positive expression of her energy.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Pisces,

I am going to be very straight with you. Get the fuck out of there! You are never going to be happy with this guy. Are you kidding? He’s a fuckin’ nightmare. He’s hopeless.

Look. All through this post you are trying to figure out what might be wrong with him and how you can help. Stop it! Stop it before I slap you! ::smiles::

I am not really going to slap you. I am just trying to get your attention. Forget about him. He’s not even interesting. He is your basic disturbed, passive-aggressive, control-freak prick. What is interesting is the fact you stumbled on him and think it’s your job to sacrifice your life to try to meet his whims… which is of course, an impossible task!

Look. I’m going to tell you a story. I know someone with Saturn jacked up like you. In his dreams he is constantly going uphill. He is constantly burdened in a way that is impossible. For example, one night he was stuck with the task of “ironing the world”. Think about that. How the fuck do you iron the world? The thought of something like this looming, makes you want to sit down and cry.

So compare that to your situation, because guess what? There is no difference. You will never get this guy’s life ironed, okay?

Get the fuck out of there. And you can. You have Venus in Aquarius in aspect to Jupiter. You know how to get free. Run for your life, man. Any questions?

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Overwhelmed,

I am very sorry to hear you lost your brother, and that things are continuing to go south. I wish I had some magic. I don’t, but you do.

I know you are in a very difficult period, but you have superior coping skills, and please don’t lose sight of this. Anyone who deals with a sibling’s threats of suicide for years, the way you have has is no weak link. This is not the first hard time you’ve had, right? Not by a shot. So do the way you always do it. One step at a time.

On your job, I do not think you will go begging. It is a competent, skilled person who can get a body home from the other side of the world, in the midst of their grief. And I am not trying to injure you by bringing this up. I am just trying to state facts. And the facts are, when you need to get things done, you get them done. And if you need a job, you will get a job.

As for this rotten stretch of life, I don’t think you have another hit coming. So just try to transition with as much grace and class as you can. It will help to keep in mind which things are outside your control. The things that want to die will fall away. As you mourn, you can take stock of what is left, and try to focus there.

Your home, for one thing. You still have it. You still have your heart, your drive, your ambition and your soul. You also have your perspective, and your faith, your quirks and your tenacity. You have tremendous fire and you have focus. So yeah. Some things are dying, but anyone who counts you out is a fool. Much love and good luck.

~~
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Dear Sister,

It’s unfortunate that your brother acts the way he does. And it’s even worse that with Capricorn in your third house (siblings), you are feel responsible for him. Considering you are both in your fifties, I think it’s time you took a day off so I’m going to try to give you one.

Now I don’t doubt your brother has problems, but fact is that he is adept at manipulating you. He’s threatening suicide from another country as if there is something you can do about it! What a great way to make your sister feel powerless. What a way to jack her up! And I think its bullshit. There comes a point where you’ve just got to cut the rope and if you ask me, you’re there.

I don’t mean you have to cut off contact with your brother, though I wouldn’t blame you if you did. But you must detach. And you must steel your heart.

Read your post up there. You know his pattern. You’ve watched it play your whole life. What are the odds he is going to change? Virtually nil, I’d say. And this is sad. So how about you accept this? Your brother’s limitations, I mean. And mourn them.

While you’re at it, accept the fact he may kill himself. He may. And he does, it will not be your fault. And you know this, don’t you? Of course you do.

What I think you need most is permission to let go of the responsibility for your brother, a burden you have carried far too long. So here it is: your brother is not your job. He never was. Set it down and walk away. Be free… and understand you’ve earned this in spades.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Cappy,

I’ve got no answer for you! You’re in your mid-forties, babe. You are never going to land, for chrissakes! This is who you are!

Here’s the astrology: your ninth house (Sagittarius) is packed with planets in Sagittarius. And Sadge is a seeker, yes? So you’re asking when you are going to move into one of those ‘cubbies”… and the answer is NEVER. Are you a Cancer? No you’re not! You don’t need a womb, for chrissakes! You need to see the horizon, at all times.

And beyond the Sagittarius, you are wildly Piscean. Pisces and Sagittarius are mutable signs. That means they are constantly moving, constantly in flux.

So this is your calling: you are supposed to be painting, singing, writing, candlemaker who can read a chart, make a necklace and design a website. Is there a problem with that? I don’t think so. But your Capricorn may be worried, so let me address that before you move along. Are you still here? ::laughs::

All Capricorn has to do to be *right* is to live with integrity. Lose the judgment. Of yourself and of others, too. Are you the person you say you are? Well, that’s good enough. As long as you are living in a way that is authentic, you are setting an example for others and fulfilling your job as a Capricorn.
~~
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Dear Saddened,

Did you know your Venus is in Aquarius conjunct your sister’s Sun… and hers is in Aries conjunct yours? That’s pretty sweet. The love is there and that’s really nice. Regarding the whole relationship though, I do have some thoughts.

I’m going to direct them towards you, but this is not because I think you’re at fault. It’s because you’re the one asking and for all I know, she likes things the way they are!

It’s a boundary thing, see. What occurs to me is first is your sister is not unemotional or lacking in sensitivity. Not with her Moon conjunct Neptune conjunct her ascendant, she’s not. And I imagine she does not like being characterized in this way, just because she is rebellious and independent.

Bottom line: with her Sun, Venus, Mars in Aquarius, she is not going to have anyone dictate her behavior… which is where you come in. Aries is a Cardinal sign, yes? And the Cardinal signs like to control things.

If you read your post up there, you can see that you are attempting to act as the General of her life and basically, she is flipping you the bird. This is true, even if your motivation is compassionate (and I believe it is). So if you want to alter this dynamic, you will have to curb your tendency to want to run her life. Because I promise you, she will never allow that.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Intense Man,

I see Venus square Saturn in your chart and I think you are being hard on yourself. It’s as if you think there is something inherently wrong with you. I believe this is the core of your problem, rather than your intensity and I’ll elaborate for clarity.

Venus is related to attractiveness, and Saturn is related to restriction and insecurity. Put these planets together in a chart, and insecurity about one’s desirability is inevitable. And if you doubt this, re-read your post. You’re afraid you scare girls, you call yourself a coward, you say you are “failing miserably”, you have wounds, and you fear becoming a hermit! And all because of why - because you aren’t fluff?

Well, obviously you know that plenty of people have no interest in the superficial, so you can see right there this makes no sense. It is YOU rejecting you. It is you giving yourself a hard time.

How? By showing up at these bars, when you know it’s not your style. Or at least not the way you’re operating when you’re out there. In other words, you are playing another man’s game.

Try this, Mr. Scorpio Moon: next time you’re out, shut your mouth! You should also go alone, and stand on the periphery like the rest of the Scorpios. Back to the wall! Now scan. Scan the room for the woman that interests you and stay sober, why don’t you? So you can be effective.

When you see her, the one whose energy you like, put your tractor beam on and pull her towards you. Make her come to you. Know why? Because you need all the help you can get. And if she comes to you, she’s interested, yes?

And you know you probe, so what did I say? Shut up! Less talking, more listening. You’ll learn more than you ever did with the questions and she’ll be all fascinated with you - a man willing to listen to her, which believe me, is as rare as hen’s teeth.

Good luck.

~~
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