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Lost in College - Neptune Transit

December 3rd, 2005 @ 4:35 am by Elsa

Dear Elsa,

For the past month or so, I’ve been quite behind in schoolwork. I have been suffering from sleeplessness, panic attacks, and also escapism. During my periods of hopelessness, I’ve been unable to get outside and or even go to class.

It’s just schoolwork, right? But now that I’m in college, I guess I feel maybe I have something important to give to people through this work. Yet I’m still not living up to my potential and I feel so guilty about not producing anything of academic value for my professors. I feel like I’m losing their respect.

I can’t figure out why I keep nervously escaping and hiding from the classwork (which I do care about a lot, perhaps too much). Then I beat myself up over it and yet I *still* don’t improve. I feel like I’ve become the lowest of the “suck-up fakers”, gaining the trust and hope of my professors and then just running around, failing and disappointing them.

It isn’t that I don’t do the work - it just keeps piling higher and higher and I just can’t deal with it. Sometimes, I feel like I just want to give up. I don’t even know what I want to do once I get out of school!

I’m at the end of my rope with all the mistakes that I’ve made (and keep making). Please tell me I’m going to get out of this rut. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m going to break.

Help!
A Mind in Turmoil

Dear Mind,

nep Well, crap. You’re in the middle of an enormous Neptune transit and I don’t think you are going to see any relief short term. I’m very sorry, because you have planets in Capricorn and I know it’s very important you achieve and be real.

This part of your nature is in direct conflict with the diffuse and disabling Neptune energy that currently pervades your life. With a stellium in Scorpio and the Capricorn to back it up, you are normally very focused and controlled and now look? It’s like someone breathes and all the sudden you’re overwhelmed. And I am terrifically sorry, but this is not going to go away in the short term.

I realize this is devastating news, but that same Capricorn (fearful as it may be) will save you. Because Capricorn is a long distance runner. And Capricorn can accept and deal with reality far easier than any other sign.

So here’s your deal. You’re going to be “erasing” like this throughout 2006. That’s a long time, but it’s not forever, and you can make it. You can fake it it you have to, and you’ll have to.

But the quality of person you are is still there. Even on the days you can’t see it, you will just have to have faith. Which is the point of all this, by the way. Neptune transits teach faith. And the only thing you can do to ease this process is to give in to it. Find the rhythm of the tide (it’s there!) and align it.

In non-metaphysical language: on the days your can think clearly, do it. On the days your acute mind is less accessible, take it easy on yourself. And trust your capabilities will come back in time. Or better yet, at the right time… because they will.

Good luck.

~~
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Astrology, Education, Transitions | Posted at 4:35 am

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