Dear Werewolvine,

Woah. I really admire you for writing this. It’s the kind of thing that is difficult to admit, so hardly anyone ever does. It makes me feel proud of you, like you’re some kind of stand-up chick.

However, you need to get your ass in gear, or else. Or else, it’s going to be exactly as you fear. Because you’re too old for this shit, okay? You’re going on forty! Your acting-out days are done. Finished! Fini! And this is not me talking. This is what you need to be telling yourself. My job is to help you and I’ll try.

Number one, you need an outlet for your physical energy. See, I don’t think you have a “rageful personality”. What you have is tremendous energy and it’s your job to manage it. I don’t care what you do. Kickboxing is an obvious choice, but don’t fuck around. You need to do this three times a week at least, and five or seven would be much, much better. Twice a day, if you have to.

Or you could run. And I don’t mean “jog”. I mean run. Run five, six, seven miles and hour until you get it out. Run until the tears come. Run until you feel something shift deep inside. Run until you break through.

And here’s the astrology: Mars in your chart (raw male energy / anger) is like a gun cocked and aimed at your Venus (love/relationships). And you see the result of that. You hunt these men, and kill them. You kill love. And you are not going to be able to just stop. Because this is in your chart and then energy will play, one way or the other.

In my model you exert yourself (Mars) and get beautiful (Venus) in the process. In my model, your Mars is a heroic athlete who earns love (Venus).

In the same vein, if you haven’t already, I think you should assert yourself (Mars) and contact this last boyfriend (Venus) to apologize and take complete responsibility for what you did to him. Not to get him back, but because it’s the right thing to do. Are you getting the picture here?

I want you to grow up and be a hero. Now.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Double Aquarius,

I feel for you and I wish there were an easy answer. I also wish I could offer your some clarity, but I can’t. In fact, I have to warn to pace yourself with this because fact is, you are not going to wash up on the beach anytime soon.

By that, I mean it’s as if you’ve had your own personal tsunami come into your life and leave you afloat. Consider some of the people left homeless by Katrina. No doubt they want to land. They want their piece of ground back, but that ain’t happening.

Further, wherever they are at the moment, they are not likely to stay there. Their lives, like yours, are in flux. Even if they go back to the same house they lived in before the storm, will it be the same? Feel the same? Of course not. And no matter how much compassion people may feel, no one can change this.

So this is your predicament. And you’ve simply got to get your sea legs. Because I doubt your husband is gone, GONE. I mean that on every level, but as an example, let’s just say you never see him again. Is he gone? Hell, no! Not when you’re thinking about him every day.

And though it may not be easy, you’re going to have to get used to it. Because as you’re finding out - this is out of your control. You can put him out of your mind intellectually before you go to bed , all good. But then you wake up in tears…

And someone can move back to their home in a storm ravaged state, with their chin up, feeling strong, planning to rebuild their life, and same thing. They feel fine this morning, but then night falls and the tears come.

I understand that feelings are not that comfortable for Sun and Moon in Aquarius, but this is where you are. Try to find the rhythm of your feelings and align yourself, sort of like lying back on a raft in a pool and letting it take you. Try to find the beauty in your emotion. Because with Neptune in Aquarius, you cannot escape the raft, but there is purpose.

Anytime you are forced to endure the egregious, there is reward in proportion. This is a universal law, as far as I am concerned. So look for that. Quit fighting. Float in that pool, look up, and ask the universe to show you something good in all this. I bet you don’t go begging.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Closed,

Yes, you are freaking out. And it would be really smart if you can stop, so I am going to try to inspire you to this end. Because let’s just say this is “the guy”. If that is the case, then you are wasting your precious time with him - by creating a pressure cooker for absolutely no reason.

I really want you to think about letting the relationship unfold. Think of a rosebud. It opens on its own, doesn’t it? And what happens if you try to rip it open? You have a shredded mess, that’s what. All because you’re in a hurry.

I have really learned this in a profound way over these last couple years. I met a man who looked a lot like a life partner to me and I decided to trust that. Now I’m a fairly complex person and at times he would make statements about me I did not think were valid. Or he’d make assumptions I thought were somewhat erroneous.

There was a time I would have jumped all over something like that. I’d have wanted the record straight… because somewhere in me, I must have known the relationship was not permanent.

But what if it is? If it is, there is plenty of time. At some point he will find out he was wrong about x, y and z… or perhaps I will learn he was right. Sexy, huh? I think so.

This is my point: You don’t need to rush to get all your cards on the table. Much better to let him discover you. I highly suggest the next time you go off on this tack, you jerk the wheel back. Because off to the right there, is a cliff.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Wife,

It sounds like you’ve thought this through. You know what you want and what you need. I’m not sure what you want from me, other than for me to absolve you somehow and perhaps give you permission to leave your husband?

If that’s what you want, you’ve got it! I don’t imagine suffering another four years is going to do you any good, but you know what? It’s far more important you learn to do this for yourself. See, you say you don’t want a “parent” in the form of a husband. You say you want to make it on your own, but then you come to me - another parental figure - to be told that what you’ve already decided is okay.

And I’m not criticizing you. I am trying to help you. I am trying to give you much more than permission to leave your husband. I am trying to give you permission to do anything you want! Get it?

You are competent. You are old enough and smart enough to run you life. You are allowed to make mistakes, and correct them if and when you decide to. So do it. And as for advice I say, be happy.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Pluto Square,

Your chart is enormously challenging. Let’s just acknowledge that. And apparently you study astrology, so as you know your chart is a map of your life. So the first thing to do is accept a few things. Like the fact that, you’re no twinkie. You’re not a light-fare wisp. You’re not a walk in the park.

Well guess what? Neither am I! And things have gone a lot better for me once I decided to wear the coat I was born with, in the most overt way possible. I realize you are a long way from this but it’s where you need to head. I’m going to tell you a story which I hope lights the way.

Now I’m like you, I’m an intense piece of work. And I don’t know from your post if you are a man or a woman, but I know women are not supposed to be too, too sexy, less they’ll intimidate men. Maybe this is you. Or maybe you are a gay man… and same thing. You are forced to repress your sexuality to keep other people comfortable.

Well the first thing is, aware of it or not, people like you exude. The sex comes off you in a wave. And this is why the men and women are attracted, isn’t it? It’s because you are powerful, whether you like it or otherwise. But I promised a story, and here it is:

Four years ago I walked into a gym after a five year hiatus. I was in horrible shape to say the least. I looked like hell. I got on a treadmill, and was repulsed by my reflection in the mirror. But I stayed on the thing anyway. For twenty minutes! And when I got off it, with my head spinning so badly, I nearly vomited. I had been in shape for years, so you can imagine my disgust at how far I’d let myself go.

Six months later, I was on a crosstrainer when I saw “the guy”. Man, he was something. He was what can only be called “a sexy motherfucker”. He was mixed race, almost definitely gay, and obviously a professional dancer and God knows what else.

The guy could move, see. I watched him on the treadmill walking with STYLE and doing his various acrobatic moves. I have no idea what his moves were because they were his moves. Can you picture this? Someone so organically in tune with their body, well it’s very hard not to stare and be mesmerized

Was he showing off? No. I didn’t think so. Vanity is bullshit and this was something else. It was prowess. It was a guy who liked being in his body and I wondered, “What must it be like to be that guy? To have that kind of command and freedom to express?” Because he was just being himself. The sex that came off him in a wave was a byproduct and not a concern of his. It would be my problem if his strong sexuality bothered me.

So anyway, years passed. I’d see that guy now and then. Not that often. I assumed he was a performer and traveling. But he was always the same. Astonishing. And one day I saw him standing off any type of equipment, so I decided to tell him.

“Do you know you are the most interesting person I have ever seen in this city,” I said.

He smiled. I looked at him in a way to let him know I was not hitting on him. I mean, not only did I think he was gay but he was also out of my league! ::laughs:: I was paying homage!

Two more years passed. A few weeks ago, I collided with this guy again. I was in the corner of the gym doing my mat work. I’ve become pretty accomplished, you know. By God, I have. And you know what?

This time, that guy was staring at ME! Yes. He was watching me move. And I didn’t talk to him that day, but I will. I’m going to let him know that he liberated me by being liberated himself. And I am trying to do the same for you, now. And it won’t be fast, but it will happen. Because you can’t stop a chart like yours, okay? You are unstoppable. And if this guy can have his powerful sexual presence, and I can have mine… well then, you give me one good reason why you can’t have yours.

Good luck

~~
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pictured - The Rape of Proserpina (detail) 1621-22, Gian Lorenzo Bernini, Marble, Galleria Borghese, Rome

Dear Pisces,

This sucks… but it’s an interesting problem and it does show up in your chart! As far as friends go (specifically with women), you are going to be drawn towards those who are very free and perhaps even eccentric. And by their nature, people like this aren’t all that easy to nail down!

Now the reason you’re attracted to women like this is because you are a woman like this! And everything would be fine, if Saturn wasn’t ruling your seventh house (relationships). Saturn wants to define things. It wants commitment!

And you can see what’s happening here. You are attracted to commitment-phobics!!! And why is that? It’s because you’re a commitment-phobic yourself… who also happens to wants a commitment!

But don’t fret. There are lots of people in the same boat and with a bit of awareness, you can live like this just fine. See, I like these exotic birds too. I like interesting people, who are not necessarily “stable”. At the very least, they are unpredictable at times. But I manage to have long-term friendships with them over decades, because I relax my standards.

For example, I may talk on the phone with someone nearly daily for a year. It’s a habit! Dependency grows. And then things shift. And this is inevitable, because no one’s life is static. And all the sudden I only talk to that person once a week. And so what? The universe will always fill a void. I will find someone else to talk to and the person drifting away will very likely come back, if the connection was authentic in the first place.

I’ve seen this happen over and over in my life. Relationships ebb and flow. People need space! Especially the type of people you like. You need space as well.

See, you get talking to your best friend for 2 hours a day and it goes just like that for how long? Ten years? Twenty years? Think about it. You get up everyday and have to have a two-hour conversation. You’d be bored!! It’s a ball and chain! People need change and stimulation and input from a variety of people and I promise you this. If you give people who need freedom, the freedom they need… and you will find yourself keeping your friends. For life.

~~
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Dear Overwhelmed,

Anyone with a twelfth house Moon like yours is going to be an empathetic person - for good or ill.

I understand you are a wide-open channel. I understand that you might find yourself crying, unsure if the emotion is yours, or if it actually belongs to the person sitting next to you, telling you their problems. I also understand this is a service, and I understand you can be easily overwhelmed.

I don’t think there’s a way to defend or filter other people’s emotion, not one you can count on anyway. Your better bet is to fight magic with magic, and I’ll explain.

That you absorb and feel other people’s feelings is sort of nebulous, isn’t it? The feelings sneak in. They leak in. Try to build a wall and… well, it’s like trying to keep a ghost out. It’s not possible!

So I think you’d be better off leaving all the doors open. I would work on trying to throw the energy off. To dissipate it. To Jedi-wave it.

Do you remember the scene in the original Star Wars, when Obi Wan waves his hand at the Stormtroopers?

“These are not the droids you’re looking for…”

Train yourself to wave your hand like that and throw off whatever it is you’ve picked up that’s bothering you. Try to let it pass through you, rather than stewing in it. In other words, whatever it is you’ve picked up - transcend!

Good luck.

~~
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