Dear Stuck,

I don’t think you’re ready to move. I’m sorry! I also hate feeling trapped and thwarted and would love to tell you to bust out. But where would you go? You don’t know! And I think you’re going to have to wait until you do.

Have you ever heard the saying, “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no“? That’s the problem here - you’ve got nothing compelling you to move on.

I’ll tell you what. According to your chart, career change is not where it’s at anyway. With Saturn transiting your first house, the focus is on you and how you relate to others. I suspect that you’re looking at the career thing as a way to avoid this other stuff.

If that rings true, I suggest you keep your job and work on this situation with the unsettled boyfriend. Because I think this is the source of your real angst.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Giving,

I’m sorry, but I don’t really buy this. I don’t buy your powerlessness trip. There are plenty of people out there who are at the mercy of the tide, but you are not one of them!

That said, I don’t mean to be bitchy with you. After all, you are a double Taurus and currently “suffering” a Neptune transit to your Sun and Moon. This would have anyone befuddled! And though I can’t solve this for you, I can give you this bit of clarity:

It will help if you try to avoid a “victim” mentality at all costs. Try to get your mind around the idea that you are co-creating your reality… and obviously your relationships too, which may be of quality or otherwise.

Finally, the idea that you attract men where “it’s all about them” seems false to me. Because your chart SCREAMS Venus. Er… you’re a double Taurus with Venus rising, so I imagine you have a bit of vanity yourself!

To answer your question - should you learn to be happy alone? Sure, if you like. I give that shit a week.

::smiles::

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Confused,

There are three main issues in your mail, perfectly reflected in your chart.

Number one, you have a reality that is extremely permeable. For example, your father makes a comment and you are completely undermined. He’s wrong… but is he?

You have a reality that dissolves, which is a textbook case of Saturn in the twelfth house. There is very little you can do to defend yourself, but awareness can help. At times you will have clarity but then it dissipates without warning. It’s as if the tide is high, and then it goes out all of a sudden. And you’re left standing there on the beach wondering what you were just wondering and why. Sound familiar?

You probably wrote me during one of those times where you’re just standing there bereft. And chances are excellent that by the time you read this, your reality will have returned and you don’t need this at all. ::smiles:: But here it is anyway… for the next time.

Second, the family thing. You have a Scorpio Moon (family) which really needs to be emotionally connected. You’d be fine if it were not conjunct (hooked up with) the planet Uranus which wants FREEDOM. In this case, you want freedom from Moon things, which are family and emotion, primarily.

See, Uranus is not really of this world. And with Uranus conjunct your moon, you feel like an alien in your family. Not just your immediate family, but your homeland as well. Get it? This is larger than your family. This is huge.

And it brings me to your third point. Relationships! Divorce aside, you don’t have particular problems in love relationship, the way that plenty of people do. Your lessons and your discomfort is not really about the other person. This is all within you, as outlined above.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Mom,

The very best thing you can do for your daughter is to get over the notion you are going to damage her. Where the hell is this coming from?!

Your daughter is going to decide her self-worth in large part by how her parents rate themselves. Can you see this? If her mother is strong and confident, this allows her to feel the same. Because she comes from you, yes? She came from your body and if so if you are flawed and fucked up, then she must be as well!

Please don’t underestimate what I’m saying… and I’ll give you an example.

I come from notoriously bad parents. They were horrendous at the far, far end of the continuum, but you know what? They were Italian! And they were cocky as hell, on this front.

They taught me that being “Italian” was the best thing you could possibly be. Italians were the best looking, best personalities, best everything, etc. etc. etc.

::smiles::

And then my parents tore me down in every way you can possibly imagine. I left home when I was a teenager, with a pair of rubber sandals and the sundress on my back. But you know what? I had enormous self esteem. I did. I thought I could kick ass all over the place, and know why? Because I was Italian!!! And Italian people are the best, did you hear???

Now I don’t mean that literally. I am just trying to impress upon you how incredibly important it is that your daughter feels the people she comes from are stout in some way. That they are stand up. And it is your job to provide this. So do it!

And as an aside - you’re a double Scorpio, did you know that? And perhaps this is why you’re afraid. You know instinctively that you are very powerful, but get this:

Power is NEUTRAL until it is directed. Yes you can heal, or kill. But you have a choice here, so why not make it today? Why not commit to using every resource you have to empower and support your child. Can you do that?

Of course you can. And she is blessed to have you.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Lacking,

I really hope you dig into this, because your relationship profile is sweet. By that I mean, when you eventually hook up, I think you’ll be well rewarded. You will satisfy your partner and be very satisfied - and believe me, this is a scenario that eludes plenty of people.

So what’s the hold up? Well, I think you don’t know yourself very well. You’re probably just living on the surface. Because if you were in touch with your deeper self, you’d be hungry and yearning to connect, and this would drive you. But this is obviously changing. From your post, you sound ready to ‘pursue” and this pleases me!

But how to pursue? Well, everyone has their way. Personally, I smile. I write, talk and tell jokes and stories. I lift my chin, turn my head slightly and show men my neck. I exude.

~~
~~

See how you responded to that? Well, you have the same guns in your arsenal, and then some. I’m not going to tell you what type of man to seek. I’m pretty sure you can get anyone you want, if you’ll just get in the game.

You’re a Virgo rising so it’s possible people look at you and think you’re a disinterested librarian. You’re very smart, but you’ve got to think about pheromones for a change. Think about putting your scent out there and believe me, you’re going to have some takers.

Good luck!

~~
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~
pic - “Virgos Exuding” was used with permission.

Dear Mom,

If your sons have not cut the apron strings by now, it’s probably safe to say they never will. This leaves the job to you.

So why haven’t you told them that you’re off the job and that they’re on their own? I don’t know, but I have some ideas. For one, you’ve been “Mom” for a very long time. Worrying about children sure fills a life up. If you were really to send them off to be independent, what exactly would you do with yourself?

I’m suggesting that you benefit from the status quo. So think about that. Because if you can come up with an alternative thing to do on Monday, Tuesday, etc… maybe you go learn to Tango or something… well if you’re busy with that, you’ll have a lot less trouble telling your adult children to fend for themselves.

Are you familiar with Kahlil Gibran, a Capricorn poet? Someone gave me his poem “On Children” when my first child was born. I’ve understood since that my children come through me.

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.” And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

~~

I can’t add to that.

Good luck
~~
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Dear Lonely,

First of all your heart is not flawed. In fact it’s working very well, as closed hearts do not feel pain like this. Closed hearts will deny both pain and pleasure and that’s not you. But you do have a freakishly difficult chart here and I will try to help.

You know how sometimes you hear on the news that the planets are all clustered together in the sky? They report it because it’s an anomaly. Astronomers say, “Holy crap!” because the sky is simply astonishing. When astrologers see the charts of babies born during these times, they too say, “Holy crap!”

So this is what you are. You’re an anomaly, born with SIX planets in Capricorn (early 1990’s). Because of this, I’m going to talk to you like an adult - because I know that like all Capricorns, you’re wise beyond your years.

Number one: Capricorn is fear-based. You’re plagued with insecurity, and afraid you’re not good enough. This makes virtually everything you do exceedingly difficult.

If you have trouble understanding that, just imagine being a confident person. Someone who feels supported; they might even be an ego maniac. This person is going to have a far easier time getting up in front of their class and speaking, or getting or going on a date, or just about anything else you can think of. But does this make them better than you? Probably not.

Because due to your intense struggle and hardship, you build character. Others seem to run up the hill while you struggle, but I promise you this: As you get older, you will see those same people roll down that hill. You’ll be afraid this will happen to you, but it never will.

I am telling you that your progress is slow, and your lessons are learned the hard way, but you win the race in the end. They say Capricorn is the crÆ’

Dear Wife,

You’re going to have to discipline yourself, or you’ll prove both yourself and your therapist right. But never mind you - what about your husband? Because if you prove yourself right, then he winds up losing the wife he loves!

Do you feel responsible yet? I want you to feel responsible to him, because I think this will help you enormously.

You know how they say you can’t lose weight for someone else? That’s probably true for most people, but with a chart like yours… I think this could work. See, I don’t think you’ll do a damned thing for yourself - but you will do almost anything for your partner.

Sound co-dependent? Well it is. But with a massive emphasis on the seventh house (relationships) and Libra (relationships) - your partner is enormously important to you. I suggest you exploit this. Motivate yourself by understanding that your eating is messing up his life.

And you can take this even further! I know, because I do it myself. I tell my man, “I am busting my ass at the gym, so I look good for you.”

I mean it too. I use his energy to motivate myself and we both benefit. I blather about this all the time. “I am going to look as good as I can for you,” I say.

See the commitment in that? The way I am taking responsibility? Those are Capricorn concepts. I am a Capricorn rising (as are you) and this is our stock in trade. It is our main gig. It’s what we are good at.

Right now, you are afraid you’re not good enough. You need to flip the switch, and make damned DAMNED sure you’re good enough. Start today.

Good luck

~~
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~~
photo used with permission. Thanks, Dave!

Dear Sadge,

Advice? Yes! Go back to school! I don’t see any other way. Read your post - it’s there in your own words. “I was supposed to be a teacher.” And come on. With five planets in Sagittarius, it’s all about higher learning. And teaching, for chrissakes! The law is fine, but you need an education, hon. You just do.

And timing? Well check this:

Sadge is Jupiter ruled. At the moment, Saturn is transiting your natal Jupiter (higher education). And look what’s happening. A Saturn figure (me) is telling you to get your ass in gear. Go learn something. Take responsibility (Saturn) for your expansion (Jupiter)!

For the record, you can miss this window if you want, but your Saturn return is a mere two and a half years away. You’ll have a lot easier time then, if you make the right choice now.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Caught,

Yes, I can. There is very little you can do, besides talk to your husband. This is not because your kid is perfect, by a long shot. In fact, I bet he’s a perfect pain in the ass. However, it’s your husband who has the power here.

See, your kid is a rebel and nobody is going to stop this. His chart makes me think of that movie, “Billy Elliot”. That kid is going to dance, regardless. It doesn’t matter what you or I thinks or says or does… that boy is going to dance!

So this is glorious. It makes for a good movie, but it’s a train wreck if you think in terms of “obedience”. That’s what I suspect your husband does and that right there is your problem.

The solution lies in your husband understanding that your son will never be “controlled”, and consequently it’s in his best interest to take another tack. Frankly if he won’t, you’re going to be screwed. Everything that is happening will just keep happening.

And I’m not advocating children running amok. I just think your husband holds the cards, and that harmony is completely and utterly achievable in this situation - if he will learn a new game.

In short, he needs to use his natural authority to support your son as an individual. And your husband’s Scorpio? Quit the seething. Instead he can use the energy to empower the child. See? It’s a mere redirection of energy, because there is absolute potential for compatibility between your two men.

Good luck.

~~
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