Scared to Breed - Adoption An Option?
Dear Elsa,
I am adopted, and my adopted family has been wonderful. But now that I’m married and considering having children of my own, I am terrified. I would rather adopt and I don’t know why.
What should I do?
Scared
Dear Scared,
I am not going to tell someone who is scared that they ought to stay that way. You must face your fear. Always. Otherwise, you compromise your life. And when you start doing this, it quickly becomes a habit that is very hard to break.
Now there is nothing wrong with choosing to adopt children when you are able to bear them yourself. But your reason for making this choice needs to be clean, and yours is not. You are going to have to look at this and with that, I can probably help.
Could it be that because you are adopted… because your mother gave you up… you feel your genes are jacked up in some way? Are you afraid there is something inherently wrong with you and your DNA? Your charts suggests this may be the problem, so let me disabuse you of that notion.
Really good people come from really bad people, all the time. Really bad people come from really good people, as well. And I am passing no judgment on your mother at all. But let’s just say your mother is psycho-killer! So what? It’s only energy. I can’t say this often enough: Energy is neither good nor bad. Energy is neutral, until it’s directed.
I also want to refer you to a post I wrote last week, “Scorpio Mom” because it applies to you as well. That gal thinks she is foul in some way, that she will injure her child because she is so horrible herself. Can you see how this relates to you?
You must confront these feelings of unworthiness if you are to be a good parent to any child, adopted or otherwise. So do it!
Good luck.
~~
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