Dear Scorpio Lover,

First of all, forget about manipulating Scorpio! I don’t think you’re going to get this guy to do anything. WYSIWYG. Think, What You See Is What You Get, because this is the deal. But it doesn’t mean you have to go hungry.

I think you can solve some of this if you go deeper yourself. For example, what do you care what he says and doesn’t say? What does he doooooooooo? Most particularly, how does he screeeeeeew? Does he share his energy? Is there a deeply meaningful sexual exchange? Because this is how Scorpio loves and communicates. Beneath the surface, that is.

So if you can feel his energy on you - if you can feel his focus - then I think you should just focus on feeling it. Because you’re not dating Gemini here. You’re not dating “chatty”. And his energy is most personal thing he has!

If you can do this, I think it will lead you closer to where you want to be. Because pressuring a Scorpio, even subtly, will not endear them to you. What will is appreciating the intangible things they give you.

And regarding his friends, don’t worry about them. He doesn’t sleep with them does he? Well then, it’s not that personal.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Grasping,

No, it’s not a midlife crisis. That would be much simpler. Instead it’s a massive Neptune transit and you are being forced to cope with copious amounts of confusion.

Now there’s good news and bad news here. The bad news is, you shouldn’t expect clarity anytime soon. I’m talking years, not months. Honestly, you aren’t going to know exactly what you’re doing until about 2010. This is also the good news, and I’ll explain.

Someone told me once, they were really glad they did not run the world. She said she was grateful there were higher forces at work. “Because left to my own devices, I would have chosen much less than what I got…” she explained. She wanted a husband, but she said she had no idea there were men in the world as good as the one she wound up with. If she’d been able to write her own ticket, she’d have shortchanged herself.

So just imagine, you had the power to publish your book today. Just think about that. Would it be as satisfying as letting it happen organically? Probably not.

You have some Leo in your chart, so imagine this: think about your life as a movie you’re living. This Neptune period is part of your movie. It’s not the beginning or the end. It’s just a segment, but it’s key to the plot. And it’s uncomfortable but it’s the only way to get to the next scene! Can you do that? Of course you can.

Neptune transits teach faith, whether you like it or not!!! Thankfully, faith is ultra-valuable, and I’ll give you a practical example.

You and I are in similar circumstance. We both have unpublished books - a year in the pipe. But you are anxious, and I am not. I have no anxiety at all because I have faith - in buckets.

I know the universe acts in my best interest…always.

I know timing is divine…always.

I have complete faith that things play out in way that is perfect…for everyone.

It will help you tremendously during this period if you can cultivate similar beliefs. Good luck.

~~
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Dear Girlfriend,

I don’t think you’re doomed at all. You just have all this Scorpio and Capricorn. So your first response to just about anything is to expect the sky to fall, and the other shoe to drop! I’m glad you wrote for an outside perspective because though it sounds that while things could be going better, there is no deal breaker in your relationship.

Now astrologically, you have Saturn transiting your seventh house (relationships). This can create a lot of fear - like fearing you’re going to be alone, and bereft of love and relationship. This is what I think you’re experiencing. This is the root of your suffering, and I see it playing out in two ways.

First, you think, “Oh no, we’re doomed!” Then you conclude, “Fine, he sucked anyway. The bastard wouldn’t even do the dishes!”

This sort of chaos is all through your post and I’ll tell you what’s going to help. Commitment! With Saturn transiting the seventh, when it comes to partnership, you’re either in or you’re out. And it’s sounds to me like you want to be with this man. So how do you deal?

Well, as soon as you quit vacillating, you’ll recover all the energy you are currently wasting. Then you can apply this energy to “growing up” the way you relate to your partner.

For example, you say he’s always been there, every day for five years. That’s a big deal! Do you really care if he does the dishes? Would you be better off with a dish-washing man who neglects you? And you say he’s successful and intelligent, but lacks motivation on his job. Come again?

For the record, Capricorns tend to parent their partner. That’s fine to an extent, but here again, a Saturn transit through the seventh insists that relationships have boundaries. Is your man old enough to decide how to handle his job? Probably.

You say you have to plan… but planning is a Capricorn trait. It’s part of your nature. You say you have to please him but again: pleasing others is part of your personal makeup.

I mean this in the nicest way. I really think you’ll see improvement if you can control your need to control him. And I know this all sounds dismal, but if you do leave this guy and find someone else, all this stuff will constellate again. The reason is because this stuff needs work, and the universe is going to make sure you do it.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Pleasing,

I really had to think about this. I can tell you why you want to please people easily enough, but the twin thing threw me. Because you and your brother would have charts that are essentially identical. I had some theories about why you might suffer this way while he doesn’t, but felt uncomfortable with the idea of me (a non-twin) telling you what it’s like to be a twin.

In a bid for clarity, I emailed a friend of mine who is a twin. He said it helps to think of twins as “siblings”. One of them is older than the other, even if it’s only by six minutes! As he put it, thinking in these terms “helps unlock a lot of twin mysteries.”

That was interesting, but I still had to mull. See, you’re a Libra, and Libras are the people-pleasers of the zodiac. But it’s very superficial. In fact, the sweeter Libra is, the surer you can be that they want to smash you with a bat. But this is more complicated than that.

Because the other thing Libra does is balance. When you go left, Libra has no choice but to go right. So this is what I think is going on.

First, you try to please by your nature, to an extent. But secondly… you brother is not so willing to ingratiate himself. He acts yang, so you go yin to compensate. And the idea that you’re the little brother would support this theory.

But this is no good for you. Because you’re more than just “Libra”. There is tremendous fire in your chart. And anger!! And if you don’t find a way to express this, eventually it will make you sick. Or cause an accident! Are you reckless? I bet you are.

Anyway, I’d recommend you turn the tables on your brother. Do it like an experiment, because he’s Libra too! Assert yourself. Turn the heat way up (I know you can) and just watch him. See what you learn, because I bet he moves to make peace…

And beyond this just imagine Libra’s symbol: a scale. You have been living on one side of it. If you internalize this, it will cause you great distress, which is the point. Because once you see you’re out of whack like that, you will automatically move to balance.

Pretty cool, huh?

Good luck!

~~
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Dear Unhappy,

I’m not surprised you feel like a fuck up, when you’re fucking up this profoundly. First thing is, it’s not okay to screw other people’s husbands. Got that? How the hell are you supposed to feel good about yourself when some sneaky, snaky low integrity guy come ’round and puts his hands on you? For two years? Ugh.

If you’re very, very lucky this guy will not leave his wife. Because if he does, you might get him, and you think you have problems now? You don’t. He has problems. His wife has problems. You, on the other hand can walk away - and if you want to feel good about yourself, this is exactly what you’ll do.

Next, stop spending money. I’m sorry, but you sound very self indulgent, helping yourself to whatever you want… never mind who is affected. And if that worked for you, that’d be one thing. But obviously it doesn’t. Obviously, you have a conscience - so if you want to fix this, how about you pay attention to your conscience and let it lead you out of this mess.

Want a map?

Call the guy. Tell him not come ’round no more. Tell him you’ve changed your mind - you’re done like dinner. Do you really want a man who can lie to another woman, day after day after day, after day?

Call your sister. Tell her the guy is gone. “He was married, but don’t lecture me. The pain is already exquisite. I hurt to the bone and will never do anything like this again.”

Next, get your ass back in school. You need a job, maaaan. You have bills to pay.

Last, tell your parents you’re sorry. Thank them for tolerating you. Tell them you’re going to pull yourself together, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.

Do this. Begin to act with some degree of integrity and you will be amazed how much better you feel.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Searching,

I’m not going to mince words. Your chart is brutal. It’s very difficult - not just right now, but in general, your entire life. And I don’t say that to make you feel bad. I say that to validate you. Because as a matter of fact, some people have more challenges than others - and you’re one of them.

Now around making a contribution, you need to look away from the “practical” and towards the ethereal and artistic, because this is an area where you have definite gifts. And beyond that, it will help to learn to trust your inner rhythms.

In obvious terms, this means when you’re tired - QUIT. And don’t beat yourself up about it. You have physical limitations and this is just the way it is. But I swear there’s a profound gift in the middle of all your pain.

I’m not sure exactly what it is, but put these words in your head: Love, art, expansion, giving, generosity, beauty, liberation, feeling, humanity, transcend, music, magic.

And when these words come up, erase them: Limits, fear, unworthy, insecurity.

This is an exercise meant to lead you somewhere but at the same time, it’s the answer to your question. Because by putting these type thoughts into the world, you will be making a positive contribution.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Wondering,

I think you may be surprised to learn you’re a Sagittarian yourself. Uh huh. You have Moon, Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune in Sadge. Believe me, that’s a lot of Sadge! So no wonder you’re drawn to this man - who also has four planets in the sign. Isn’t that funny? I think it is. You both have major planets in Virgo as well and bottom line: you guys are from same TRIBE.

But can there be a workable partnership?

When I first read your post, I thought not. I figured a relationship that thrived for this long with this degree of space would be doomed in closer quarters. But looking at the charts changed my mind. I tend to agree with your friend.

I think the two of you could very well hook up. You just have to respect your Sadge. For example, neither of you can tolerate being tied down, and you both need to “leave”. First he goes, and then you go. Sometimes you go together. The important thing is you keep it moving. Because how long do wild horses stay in one place?

Not long.

Nikki Giovanni says, “We love because it’s the only true adventure.”

I can’t add to that.

~~
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There’s a new kid in the carpool this year - a sixth grader. He’s a nephew to my friend Alexa. I’ve seen him around, but really had no direct interaction with him until he got in my car on the first day of school.

I’d heard from his mother he was concerned about being late for school and sure enough, when he got in the car, he started fretting about how slow the other carpool kid was. That kid was his chronically late cousin, and he feared this would jack him up around getting to school on time. I thought, “This is an obvious Capricorn.”

Having plenty of Capricorn myself, I reassured him. “Look, hon. You’re right. He is frequently late. But he’s not as bad as he used to be and I’ve been driving this carpool… this is the sixth year! And you know what? We’ve never been late. So I don’t want you worried about this, okay? I won’t let that happen.”

I saw him visibly relax in the seat next to me. “Whew!” he must have been thinking. “One of my own kind.”

By the time I dropped the two boys off that day (my daughter, Mosta was in the hospital), I had decided I really liked this kid. I make snap judgments like that. Some things you just know and I knew I liked this kid. I liked him so much that when I saw his mother on day three, I told her, “I really like your kid…”

So on his Capricorness, by the third day of school he was on full blown worry. About everything! For one thing, his mother was potentially going to make him go to an out of town wedding, which would result in him missing school.

“I don’t know what she’s thinking,” he said. “This isn’t elementary school! This is middle school. If I miss a day… I can’t miss any school! If I do, I’ll have to make every bit of work up…” Blah, blah, blah…. and then the sky will fall.

I sat there listening to him. I was thinking, I have to help this poor kid, maaan. But I didn’t jump on it. I had time. I decided to let some more of it pass, and just observe. I wanted more information and a few days later, I got it.

The four of us were in the car. Two boys, Mosta and I. The new kid asked his cousin, who I’d driven for five years: “Are you a Capricorn?”

“No. Sagittarius,” the kid answered.

I smiled.

It was Mosta’s turn to ride shotgun, so the boys were in the back. I turned over my shoulder and asked the new kid, “Are you a Capricorn?”

“No,” he said. “Scorpio.”

“What?” I was surprised. “When is your birthday?” I asked.

“November 17th,” he answered.

“Oh. And you’re going to be how old this year?” I was asking to get the birthdata.

He told me.

“Cool. Then you’re a Scorpio. Mosta has a Scorpio rising and your cousin has three planets in Scorpio.” I laughed. “That makes this a car full of intense people, going down the road.”

No response.

Five minutes later I dropped them off thinking this kid has GOT to have a Capricorn Moon.

When I got home, I verified it. He does have a Capricorn Moon. He has a stellium in Capricorn actually and get this: on top of that, he’s got FIVE planets in Scorpio!

::laughs::

So I was talking to Alexa about this. “Someone must have told him I was an astrologer. He heard it somewhere, and now he’s probing!! That’s pretty impressive. That’s Scorpio for you. He wants to know what I know. IF I know anything, that is,” I said, with a chuckle.

She said his mother has trouble with him.

“I’ll bet,” I said.

And you get the idea here. It’s a stew and it’s starting to cook.

~~
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Dear Bored,

Well, hell. Bored is bored. And I hate to say it, but once you’re bored with someone… the situation rarely improves. Not that I think jumping in bed with this new guy is such a good idea.

Astrologically, it’s crunch time as far as your marriage goes. Saturn will be transiting your seventh house (marriage) for the next two years. If your partnership is not real - if it does not support you - then it will very likely end in this time frame. You will simply feel pressured until you do something.

On the other hand, if your marriage is real, than this will be just as obvious. Instead of finding your way out, you’ll find yourself held there and made to work out the problems.

The Saturn transit is all about commitment. Either make one, or if you can’t, then you’re obligated to do the right thing and leave the marriage. For both your sakes! For your growth. But I have to warn you: with Saturn transiting the seventh, if you skip off and play with the new guy, you will not get away with it. In fact, you’ll be hit by the karma ball so fast, it’ll knock your block off.

But this is not to say you aren’t going to go this route. You’re achin’ for a change and there he is.

You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness just because your husband worships you but do have to act with integrity. This is the essence of Saturn in the seventh house. It’s about having integrity in your relationships. So don’t lie, and don’t cheat. Don’t tell someone you love them if you don’t. Basically, do the right thing. That’s the standard and as long as you meet it you’re going to be fine.

Good luck.

~~
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