Dear Lover,

I am always suspicious when I hear someone call someone else “stubborn”. Are you sure he’s stubborn? Maybe he just doesn’t want to do what you stubbornly tell him to. And maybe this is why you fight as well, hmm?

Look, I am not trying to be mean. But you cannot control him. You do not get things on track. You get yourself on track!

You say you love him? If this is so, I’d suggest you look hard at your role in things and then take a much softer approach. Otherwise, I don’t have to tell you where your relationship is headed, because you already know.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Lost,

Your chart made me cry. It’s that beautiful. It’s soulful like a poet and we (the collective) have got to get you a partner! Now I’m going to write this in somewhat nebulous astrology and hopefully get it by my editor. This is the deal:

You have Venus in Pisces, which is its exalted position. It’s the best Venus you can buy. It means you can love and love and love, without boundaries. There are no rules to your love. There are no edges. It just goes out there, like music and I’ll explain.

There is a venue here locally where musicians play. They only open this place in the summer because it’s cold here and the place is akin to a shack. By that, I mean it’s a wooden building but there are holes clean through - spaces between the slats, where you can see in… and the music inside can get out.

So picture this: there’s a musician on stage, and people inside who have paid to see them. But people can sit out on the grass around the building and hear the music just fine. And they can peek in, too. And this is my point.

Your love is like this music. It is not contained. It’s leaking out at all times, going out in the world. It is enhancing the world. And I’m telling you this because I think it may be unbeknownst to you. And if I’m right about that, then you have little clue who you are. And if you have little clue who you are, you are going to be a little less lost.

::smiles::

Now I hope this helps. And I can tell you for sure, more help is on the way. Because Uranus is set to transit your seventh house (relationships) and I promise you, it will revolutionize the way you relate to others. And since Uranus is all about humanity, I’m going to ask everyone who reads this to put a wish out there for you today that you find the love you need.

And one more thing. Thank you for your comment about my blog. I appreciate it very much. Generally, I would edit something like that out but I chose to leave it, because I think it reflects more on you than it does on me.

Good luck and much love to you.

~~
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Dear Wife,

I hope so! I think you’re in danger here. See, you’ve got a Grand Trine in your chart. And this is supposed to be a great thing. It is a great thing, provided it doesn’t ruin you - and I’ll explain.

A Grand Trine consists of three planets in easy aspect to each other. People who have Grand Trines in their chart have a very clear “comfort zone”. There is always going to be a slice of their life that comes easy to them.

For you, it’s this “at home” thing. You are very good at it… however, it’s a trap! You are trapped in your trine, doing this one thing you’re good at. Meanwhile the rest of your chart - which is far more dynamic - withers away. This is why you feel the way you do.

See, to be happy, you have to “live your Sun, and satisfy your Moon.” Guess what? Your Sun and Moon are not involved in your grand trine, and to neglect them means you are not vitally alive or emotionally fed. Not good, huh? You’ve got to get out in the world!

Here is the cool thing: your Grand Trine isn’t going anywhere. You will be able to fall back on it! In other words, if you can get out and deal with some of this more meaty stuff, you will find that the “at home” stuff takes care of itself. I’ll give you an example.

I have trines in my chart that keep me happy. I am a happy son of a bitch! And when I figured this out, I realized I could go right to the edge. I could explore things that are dark and dicey and difficult, knowing I’m going to be happy regardless. No small piece of information, huh?

Right now your Grand Trine is a jail. Reconfigure so it frees you to live your Sun and satisfy your Moon. Specifically, you’ve got a lot of Virgo and Aquarius, so you’re a smart, innovative, humanitarian do-gooder. If you want to be happy, find a way to become this person. Good luck!

~~
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Dear Virgo,

No, I don’t think you threw it all away. The current situation is untenable. Not that you shouldn’t communicate your feelings to him, because you should. He’s your friend, right? It sounds like he is and he will probably help you work through your feelings. But this does not mean he’s the man for you. I’ll tell you what I think is going on.

You’re a double Virgo and you live in your head quite a bit. If you read your post up there, you will see how you had this all figured out. Neat, petite! But feelings aren’t like that, are they? Feelings will fuck you up, and this is what is happening.

But going through this will be enormously enriching for you. It will expand you. You need to be a mess like this. Seriously! You’re out of your head now, huh babe? So this is the lesson in this for you. Your heart is getting hooked up with your mind, with your soul. It’s painful, but productive and very, very human. Good luck.

~~
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~~
Pictured - Virgo, Salvador Dali

Dear Mom,

Will she always be spacey like this? Well, yeah. But her degree of impairment (or enhancement, one could argue) will ebb and flow and this is true of everyone.

For example, I am an intense person. I am always “simmering” but at various times my life will come to a rolling boil. Then it becomes, “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!” I’m sure you can relate. Right now, your daughter is flared and requires medication, but this does not mean it will be this way forever.

See, your daughter is very young. We all have to learn to manage ourselves, and it ain’t easy. Your daughter has this challenge, but what about the ultra-angry kid? Or the depressive kid? They’re in the same boat. Their life is a challenging life, but as we age, hopefully we evolve and find productive ways to channel our energy.

For example, I used to be quite “whack” with my energy. I would go off in various ways pretty readily. These days, I go to the gym and work out on a cross-trainer at level twenty. And I write and write and write and write. No one is hurt, and I’m quite happy! So you get my point. Your daughter will never get rid of her spacey-ness, but she may very well learn to be creative with it.

And here’s one more example: my life-long friend, Ben. Ben’s got a lot of Scorpio, is of mixed race (from back before this was more common) and he’s gay. He had a tortured childhood. But he found the cello as an outlet, and he made it his career.

I was talking to him recently.

“Where would you be without your cello?” I asked.

“Dead”.

See, all of his energy goes into his playing. And so it is with your daughter. There is no use trying to rid her of her essence. Instead, try to help her be creative with it. It’s no small job, I admit. But she’s your daughter, and there are no accidents, so I bet you’re equipped.

Good luck

~~
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Dear Wife,

There is no way I am going to call you a “selfish masochist”, although I’m definitely impressed with the term. Will you ever be at peace in your marriage? I don’t think so. You didn’t send your husband’s data so I don’t know what his story is, but your chart shows extreme challenges in partnership, exactly as you describe.

So no, there’s no calvary coming. You will have to do a truly enormous amount of work to function well in partnership with anyone. I’m sorry! But I don’t think you will find peace for you without dedicated effort.

That said, an astrologer could take this apart for you. Elucidate the situation. A therapist could help as well. I’d recommend both. If you decide to take a hard look at yourself, you may just become fascinated. Good luck.

~~
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Dear Downhill,

I’m sorry things aren’t working out the way you want. Life is like that sometimes, but this is not necessarily bad. The things you describe are sort of the stuff that happens when you’re alive. And it’s not that I don’t feel compassion for you, because I do!

I’m looking at your chart, and it’s my job to tell you things I think will be of use. You have a lot of Virgo in your chart, and I am sure you aspire to live a perfectly executed life. You probably manage this to a larger degree than most, but there are times - like now - when all hell is going to break loose.

Now as a means to cope, I want to appeal to your intellect. I am sure that you see people around you get involved in relationships that are not so good. They go into them, they go through them (getting their hair messed up in the process) and they get out of them - often mangled to one extent or the other. But if you check them later down the road, they can frequently tell you what they learned.

The same goes with an illness and I’ll use myself as an example. Some years ago I was with my children at their pediatrician’s office, when a fire broke out in the building. I’d just had a baby and I was quite out of shape - so when I ran down the stairs carrying my two children plus a baby carrier, I tore my back up.

This left me in chronic pain with torn discs and some other problems. I was not very happy! But the event sent me to physical therapy and eventually to a gym, where I worked out diligently - basically fighting my way back. It’s six years later now and I am pain free. I am also in the best shape of my life, and if it took that fire to get me here, so what?

Now I’m not comparing that to cancer! I’m just saying, “Shit happens”. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow and make progress. These failed relationships are just a piece of the much larger person you are becoming. Consider yourself a diamond being cut. And one more thing.

Van Morrison sings about God, but you can call it whatever, I don’t care.

“He’ll pick you up
And turn you around
Put your feet back
On higher ground…”

So the next time you’re trying to go right and your life takes a hard left, consider it might be a detour to higher ground. Good Luck.

~~
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Dear Roving,

You are definitely kidding yourself. I would caution you to believe what he’s telling you. He’s not going to upset his situation. If you want to go a round with him, I imagine you can. Personally, I believe he’s seducing you.

And you? Well, you’re a good girl, but sort of a Persephone figure. Hades takes her down, but she’s not entirely unhappy about this.

So this is where you’re at. You’re part of a myth. And I don’t know what you’re going to do but you better hear him loud and clear: HE IS NOT GOING TO UPSET HIS SITUATION.

For the record, if it were me, I would tell him to get his sexual energy off me before I punched his fuckin’ lights out. Because that’s what he’s doing. He’s got copious amounts of Scorpio underneath that Sadge grin and he’s workin’ you.

Good luck.

~~
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~~
pictured - Death of the Bride, 1895, oil on canvas, Thomas Cooper Gotch, (b.1854-d.1931)

Dear Wanting,

I’ve got news for you. Not only are you lonely… but with transiting Saturn sitting right on your Moon, I suspect you’re depressed. But I think this will end up being productive for you.

See, the intense loneliness you are feeling is what will spur you towards manifesting the real relationship you crave. But you must do the work. No woman is going arrive on a white horse and save you. But I do think you’ll get what you want, and it’s closer than you think.

It helps tremendously to you define what you’re after and you’ve done that. So you can start boxing out the people and things that do not support your goal. But by far the most important thing is to commit yourself.

Make yourself willing and able to relate to a partner in an adult way. Do whatever you have to do to get to that point. Do you need therapy? Then get it. Do you have some raunchy habit that you know is thwarting you? Quit it. You get the idea.

And can you see how pain and loneliness will force you into action? That’s why you’re feeling how you do. As soon as you take practical steps towards finding a partner, you will see relief and as soon as you’re ready, that gal will absolutely show up. So you see you’re in control of this. The timing is up to you.

Good luck.

~~
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~~
pictured - The Waterfall, 1930, Maxfield Parrish (1870-1966)

Dear Crazy,

It sounds like you’ve done everything possible to salvage this friendship. I understand your concern for your friends as a whole, but fact is, you can not stop life from unfolding. Things always progress, and it might help if you look at it this way.

You used to be able to stand her, right? But not any more. You can no longer stand her and I suggest you come right out and tell everyone. And you don’t have to explain why. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t, because what’s your goal here? It’s not to ruin her. It’s to get yourself free of her energy. So go ahead do that, and let the chips fall.

For the record, I’ve been on both sides of this situation, and with the same friend. I’ll tell you the story, so you can see how this can come out just fine.

A few years ago, I had a friend. Because she was my friend, another friend extended himself to her. But over time, he discovered he really didn’t like the gal very much. So now what?

Well I don’t know how much he struggled, but eventually he called me up and just told me straight out. He said he respected my friendship and positive feelings about this gal, but he had serious problems with her. He outlined them briefly, and then said he was going to cut the rope on her. I told him, “Okay.”

Now it didn’t matter to me if he didn’t like her. I did like her! I told him I knew she had these flaws, but I liked her anyway and you get the idea. We are individuals!

So a year passed and I found myself on the other side of this equation. This time it was his friend who I deplored. And I didn’t handle it nearly as well as he did. I was more like you. I went forever trying to stomach his friend. But finally I hit my melting point. It was like a matter of survival. I felt if I had to be in a room with this gal even one more time, I would die. So I told them - both of them.

I told her to go far away and I didn’t bother to elaborate. Much like your friend, she didn’t listen to me anyway… so why waste the time?

Aftewards I told him, “I just told your friend to kiss my ass.” I said I really hoped it didn’t impact our friendship, but I had hit the end of my tether. And you know what he said?

“Okay. No problem, Elsa.”

So do you see the way out? Keep it clean and keep it simple. People will shift, but that’s what happens. Life is dynamic and sometimes YOU are the person who initiates the change.

~~
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