Dear Single,

Looking at your chart, I don’t see you going without a relationship for long. You’re simply more happy and comfortable when you’re partnered up. And I am not trying to minimize your pain. But since you’ve had this same scenario constellate twice in a row… well that is a lot of information and you only need to use it.

At this point, I’d suggest you lose the “victim” position completely and take responsibility and control for your love life. By that I mean, forget about feeling something has been done to you, or perpetrated against you. Instead of seeing it as a betrayal, understand you’ve made choices and screwed up twice here. So make a vow to yourself that you’ll keep your eyes open next time.

For example, if you meet a guy and he talks about his ex all the time, then run for the hills!!! Sounds pretty simple, huh? And can you see how this puts you in the position of power? You can be in the land of “been there, done that” around this issue at any time. So why not today?

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Crazy,

As described, your situation is an emergency, so think “triage”. First you must stop the bleeding. Hemorrhaging is more like it… and it’s self inflicted!

Let’s say there was a drug out there that scrambled your mind and made it impossible for you to function. If you took it, you’d say, “Jeez! This shit completely disables me!” So what would you do? Keep taking it? That makes no sense.

This is what you’re doing by going back and back and back to your job. You say you can’t think while bleeding like this, and I believe you. So stop the bleeding and you can expect things to rapidly clarify. You are the only one who can do this, you know.

Er… or if you want, I’ll do it. Just tell me where to call.

Briiiiing! Briiiiiinnnnnng!

“You know ‘Going Crazy Here’? Well she quits. Bye, now.”

*click*

~~
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Dear Dazed and Confused,

Oh my! Your chart is shocking. It’s painful to look at, but it’s very easy to read.

Now I am loathe to tell someone what they ought to do with their life. For one thing, I don’t want the responsibility! But your case is exceptional, so here’s what I think, in plain language:

Regardless of supposed impracticality, I don’t think religious studies is a bad choice of study for you. On the contrary, you’re a faith-based person. You’re all about what you believe. Although you’re lost in the moment, over the course of your lifetime I think you’ll go back again and again to what you’ve learned in school. And this will work for you! So maybe you can see that in the grand design, you’ve not made a mistake. You’ve made an investment in your future.

Now as for working with trauma victims… by the look of your chart, this seems an extremely good fit for you. For starters, you have significant Pisces in your chart and you’re simply going to have to serve or suffer. So that meets that need.

Furthermore, you have Scorpio prominent, so you’re a natural in the field of psychology. You know how to swiftly get to the root of something, and better yet, the capacity to heal others. So what’s holding you up?

It’s your Capricorn. You feel you are broken in some way. You say so in plain language.

You’re interested in effects of violent trauma. Never mind how you got that way, the fact is that not everyone is. This is a focus for you, while the person next to you may be interested in Wall Street or engineering. So who do you think ought to go into this field, hmm?

And I’m not ignoring the money issue. It’s just that I have faith too. Look for the resources and if it’s meant to be, you will surely find them. Good luck.

~~
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~~
*pictured - Allegory of Faith by Moretto da Brescia, 1530s, oil on wood

Dear Smitten,

This is so sweet. This is one of the sweetest letters ever. Because you obviously have great feelings for this guy, but you are so considerate you are willing to give him a year to… I don’t know what!!

Well, lemme tell you something about men. Most of them like women!! Especially totally sweet, caring women like you. And you’re interesting too! Know how I know that? Because you took him to the prom!!! Good luck to him, trying to find someone better than you! You’re the kind of woman men remember forever.

But to answer your question - yes absolutely. Make your move, hon. Get that man! Snap him up before some other gal gets any damned ideas, okay? The time to live your life is now!

~~
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Dear Lonely,

Okay, this boggles my mind. I looked at your chart expecting to see God knows what that might explain this. But it’s just not there. On the contrary, it looks to me like you should have prospects coming out your ears!

So the only clue here is this: “What can I do to show men I am available?” You aren’t wearing your wedding ring are you? ::ducks:: Just kidding!

My advice is to fire up your Mars!!! Mars in a chart shows how you get what you want. You have Mars in Capricorn which happens to be its exalted position. This is the best Mars you can buy!

You know why? It’s because once Capricorn focuses on a goal, there is no stopping them. Knocked around a bit? No problem. Bleeding? So what. Once focused, you will persevere… so I’m going to suggest you make it your job to hunt down a man.

I strongly recommend Match.com or the like. How better to let prospects know you are available, huh? And it’s a very “Capricorn” method. The reason is because it’s like interviewing candidates to fill a slot. And I don’t care how that sounds. I highly suggest you approach it just like that and you’ll be fine because you have other components in your chart - all of them firing.

For example, you have Virgo so you can discriminate. You have a Scorpio Moon so you can feel things out. So here’s the plan (a Capricorn word):

Mars places the ad. Virgo sorts and categorizes the prospects. Scorpio gut-checks. And check your crotch as well. Make sure there’s a sexual pull, eh?

::laughs::

I swear this will work. Good luck!

~~
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Dear Caring,

What a beautiful letter. You’re obviously a very loving and insightful young woman and this is a gift to your mother. That said, I agree with you. Your mother is trying to take care of her family. As a mother myself, this is easy to understand. Your kids are your kids and you look after them regardless of how you feel.

But at this point, I do think it’s appropriate you switch places with her, and mother her for awhile. For one thing, you’re well equipped. Nursing comes easy to Virgos. You’re born to help the sick and I wonder if you just need permission to take the reins here.

For example, have you asserted yourself at all? I’m thinking you should just step in. If she’s scrubbing the floor, help her into a chair and scrub it yourself. I think she’ll let you if you play it right. For example, I caught the nuance in your post - her “thorough” manner. So take the time to explain to her that you’ve been watching her clean your whole life, and you know the way she wants things done.

While you’re at it, you can thank her for doing it right for all these years. Let her know this is something you want to do for her - that you INSIST you do it for her, and that to not allow you to care for her in this way would actually cause you pain.

Be sure and tell her that she can take over when she’s feeling better. But it’s your turn now, and regarding her emotions… wouldn’t it be nice if she could sit and talk to her daughter as she did the dishes?

I think you’re getting the picture here. It’s time for you to mother your mother, in as fine and as inspired a way as she did you. See where this takes you in the short term. I think you’ll find your way.

Good luck

~~
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Dear Mom,

I am going to be very candid with you and risk pissing you off. The reason is because I can’t imagine anything less will help you at all, and this is not a bullshit advice column.

Now your son and you both have your Sun in Leo, but this is the tip of iceberg as far as the similarities go. If you want to see a very reasonable facsimile of yourself, then look at your son. Because your charts match up, pretty much right down the line. So what’s that mean?

It means, this is your chance to give yourself the best parent ever. What did you need when you were a kid? That’s what he needs. What did you want? What made you happy? What were you most afraid of?

You hate criticism, don’t you? So does he. It cripples you to your core, doesn’t it? Same with him. See what I’m getting at? You have exceptional insight into your child, so this is an exceptional opportunity to really support him. Not every parent enjoys this circumstance. There is such a thing as a kid with five planets in Scorpio (intense) being born to two Geminis (superficial). How do you think that works out?

So here’s my best guess around where and how this relationship is falling down. First, let me say I think Leos are fantastic parents. Know why? Because they are kids themselves. They are willing to get on the floor and play with their kids. But when a Leo parent falls, they fall hard and I’ll tell you how it happens.

It happens because Leo loves the stage. They LOVE the stage. And they sometimes have a grave problem sharing the spotlight. Now if the kid is part of their image - enhances them in some way - then it’s all good. But what if the kid wants to SHINE independent from the parent? Because this is the case with your son and if you’re smart you’ll follow the example of other Leo mothers who have pulled this off with aplomb.

Leo, Jackie O is a prime example. As a mother, she ROCKED. She stepped aside and let her kids shine, and it did enhance her image. Because I’ll tell you something. Like it or don’t - comfortable with it or not - your son is a double Leo ROCK STAR. And he came out of your body, there is no mistaking that.

So how about some of that Leo pride in your cub, huh? Come on, you can do this. It’s in you in spades.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Overwhelmed,

I think you’re just being hard on yourself. If you think about it, you’ll see how this makes sense. You’ve held up through what sounds like a living hell. You’ve performed like no one else could, and now that the crisis has passed… you feel your energy dip down and think you’re a failure.

Now I betcha anything by the time you read this, you’ll have already recovered. You’ll have told yourself, “don’t be a baby,” and went right back to performing at a superhuman level. So here’s my point:

After working thirty days and thirty nights under egregious conditions, you can expect to be exhausted. You can expect to perform at less than peak for a day or two or three and you ought to learn to cut yourself some slack, okay?

Have you had a massage lately? I think you ought to get one and as a matter of fact, I’ll pay for it. Care to take me up on that? If you’ll go, I’ll pay. Email to accept this offer.

~~
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Dear Attached,

Here’s what it sounds like to me. He had a troubled marriage, you were lonely. Both of you were ripe - something developed, and now you’re on the ropes. Is this a viable relationship? I doubt it. Far as I’m concerned, you’re in the land of one-percent chance here.

You say you looked the charts. That’s good. Did you see your Venus Neptune contact? I did. Do you know what that indicates? You find this in the chart of dreamers. Venus Neptune is all about dreaming up the lover, imagining him into something supernatural. You often find it in women in love with unavailable men- like priests, or men in jail for life.

That’s because with no actual man around, it’s very easy to imagine the guy any way you want him. Think about it. You’re lying in bed dreaming about your unavailable guy. Do you think about him farting? Do you think about him cranky and brooding, unavailable, and bitchy? Hell no! In your fantasy, he’s always responding to you in just the right way. He touches you just right. His breath makes your skin crazy and so forth. Sound like I know what I’m talkin’ about? ::laughs:: Well, that’s because I have a Venus Neptune aspect myself!

So, here’s the deal. That guy in jail… the priest… the married guy in another state… well your imagination is so powerful, look what it can do. At the moment, you prefer him to the man who lives next door, who could actually do something for you. Or the man who lives just around the corner. And you have yourself so convinced, you are willing to be loyal to this hologram which frankly, can ultimately only let you down.

‘Cause here’s what’ll happen. You’ll go see him, he’ll breathe on you and you’ll get your five minutes of bliss. Shortly thereafter, reality will dawn on you. You know: you live here, he lives there, no one is moving. And besides that, he still has a wife? Come on, man. It’s hopeless.

I suggest you quit feeding this. Have your agony about your lost soulmate, Writhe around for awhile, amd then get yourself on Match.com. Make sure the guy you hook up has no wife and lives close by. You know. Find someone or something viable, and dream that guy up. Because you can, you know. It’s what you do. And if you give this just thirty seconds of thought, you’ll see what I mean. A Dream Lover you can actually touch? Yum.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Ambivalent,

He’s wonderful, but he sucks… is this right?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but I don’t think you have to get along with him. You have to get along with YOU. Is it his fault that you want to be partnered? And is it his fault that at the same time, you want to be free from partnership? I don’t think so!

Now I don’t know him, but lets just say you’re right about all of this. Let’s just say he’s a manipulative homebody. I can buy that. Plenty of Cancers are! But what about his positive qualities? He’s good with women, yes? He knows just what you neeeeeed! This is why you married him, yes? Because when you put your arms around him and you know you’re home.

Now is it his fault you want to be home and you want to leave home… and then you want to be home again? I don’t think so! Are you getting my point?

Your man is a flawed human being, but so are you! You’re as muddled as he is, aren’t you? Because the truth is, you need him. It’s you with the Libra rising, that want to be partnered. It’s you with the sun and moon in the seventh house, that wants and needs relationship to the nth degree.

It’s also you with your Sun in Aries, who wants to be ON YOUR OWN. And further - it’s you with Venus in Aquarius, who wants to rebel against the partner - to be free from relationships. And you know what?

I could go on and on and on about the million contradictions in your chart and how not one of them is the fault of your husband. So how to get along?

Well I’d say get a mirror and check it frequently. Understand your propensity to PROJECT is off the page and next time you think he has a problem, look in the mirror. Ask yourself this: “What is the problem I am having?”

Because you know what? As soon as you point the finger at him, you’re screwed.

Good luck!

~~
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