Dear New,

With a Capricorn rising and SIX planets in your tenth house, there is no mistake here. You want to run the show. You’re a born authority figure. You can definitely do this, but here’s the deal: like everyone on else on the planet with this much Cardinal energy, you are a control freak!

Now you didn’t send your kids’ data, but I bet you anything the kids are also strongly Cardinal: Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. That’s especially true of the older one and that’s the conflict. You want to run the show… but so do they!

Now you can say that you’re the parent - you’re oldest, so you win. But is that good parenting?

See, you have adjust your mindset. You don’t want to be thinking about running their lives, or about controlling them. You want to think about running your own life and controlling YOURSELF.

So when they piss you off, it’s not how to make them bend to your will. It’s more about, “how can I be a wise parent?” Or, “how can I best guide these children?”

And it might help for you to think about the idea that they want control too! So give them some. For what it’s worth, I am strongly cardinal and so is my son. He likes to boss me!!! It’s rude too. But I don’t react to it much. I teach him boundaries. “I don’t take orders from six-year olds”, I tell him. Or I say, “how about you run your life and I’ll run mine.”

Because you know what? I am a born parent, but so is my son!! It goes without saying who the parent is. Still, I take every opportunity I can to tell my son, “do whatever you want,” or “wear whatever you want.” He thrives with this.

And you know what else? He goes out in the neighborhood and older kids follow him around. He’s a natural leader and I feel proud.

Just change your focus so you’re not trying to dominate the kids. Instead, try to be a kick ass parent and that’ll change everything.

Good luck!

~~
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Dear Crushing,

You know what? All you can do is be yourself. She’s either going to like you, or she’s not. You know what my sister told me once? She said, “If you have the right man, you can’t do anything wrong.” And she asked her husband to confirm.

“That’s right,” he said. “Yup.”

“So don’t worry about, Elsa,” she said. “If he’s the right guy, you can start your period on your white dress and he’s not going to care…”

Sorry to be graphic, but this is how my sister talks! And if I put it this way, you will never forget it. So you get my point, yes?

Just do what you’re doing. Do what comes natural to you, when it comes to you naturally and you will soon find out if this is the gal for you.

Good luck!
~~
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Dear Unsure Lover,

Here’s the deal. You’re detached in relationship by your nature. Basically, you’re commitment-phobic! And I don’t mean that in a nasty way. I am commitment-phobic myself!

People with Venus tied up with Uranus in their chart are prone to sudden attractions - relationships that start on a dime. It’s all very thrilling and then BAM. They end the same way they start, in an instant. “Whoops, changed my mind! I’m out of here!”

People who operate this way find each other because they have something in common. They don’t want to be tied down!! They work both sides of this - and you have. Sometimes you detach, and sometimes the other person does it for you… but the result is the same. You’re FREE! And this is what you really want.

There’s a great astrologer, Stephen Arroyo, who writes about this aspect in his book, Relationships and Lifecycles. He once set up practice near a military base and 7 out of the 10 women he saw have Venus tied to Uranus in their chart. Know why? Because these women were free from their husband for seven months a year! PERFECT! Perfect, if you’re wired this way, that is.

So just think about this. You hook up with someone and here comes the day-in-day-out drudgery of it all. Is that really for you? I’m not sure it is. Venus/ Uranus loves on-and-off relationships and relationship with “friends”. Distance is the point. And freedom.

You can do anything you want, but getting a conscious grip on what you want in a relationship is probably a good place to start .

Good luck

~~
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~~
pictured - Venus Verticordia. Dante Gabriel Rossetti 1864-1868. Oil on canvas

Dear Perplexed,

Hell yes, it’s going to keep happening. In love, you’re a Neptune type. If you are a Virgo or Virgo rising, or if you have Venus in Pisces, Venus in the twelfth house, or Venus in aspect to Neptune… you’re going to have Neptune flavored relationships. I’ll elaborate.

Neptune love likes to pine. It loves love. It’s addicted to romantic love, which makes it very seducible and very easy to seduce. This is fine in measure, but you’re not dealing with something stable. It acts more like the tide. The tide comes in and your lover only has eyes for you. The tide goes out and he’s not sure he remembers your name.

Okay, now I know that’s rough, but get this: you can’t remember his name, either.

Well at first you might feel like you’re dyin’ over the hologram love you lost. But it’ll be short-lived. It only lasts until the next prospect crosses your path and since you’re so fetching and all… well you won’t waiting long.

So I’m suggesting the men probably feel this when they say it. They’re under a spell. They’re under your spell, or one of their own, so you must discriminate. Talking and doing are two different things, so in your case, this is very simple to solve.

Ask yourself this: Is he talking or is he doing? Because if he’s all talk, no do - then you can be sure it’s your propensity to fantasize making up the rest.

Good luck.~~
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Dear Doubtful,

I suspect your Sagittarius man can love, but please understand - he must remain in motion. If you love a Sagittarius, you’ve chosen to love a wild horse. If you attempt to corral a wild horse, one day you’ll wake up to find they’ve jumped the fence.

A wild horse is a wild horse. When it opts to run free, it doesn’t mean to injure the person who built the corral. It’s just the only way for the animal to feel vitally alive.

So if you want to love Sagittarius, you must leave the door open at all times. This is just the way it is. To restrict a Sadge is akin to preventing a Virgo from reading a book, or a Pisces from dreaming. It’s unthinkable. Imagine a chained wild horse. What’s uglier than that?

So yes, of course a Sadge can give and receive love - but not if it means they’re tied down. If you love him, these are your choices:

• Love him as he passes through.
• Set up home with him, but leave the door open, understanding he’s going roam from time to time - and that does not mean he will cheat.
• Travel together

My sister has her Moon and Jupiter Moon conjunct in Sagittarius. Her advice re: Sadge men? “Ride ‘em while you can!”

~~
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Dear Discouraged,

Yeah, I think you’re going to have to fight. I understand your reticence. I understand your desire to avoid the whole ordeal. After all, you’re a Pisces!

However, once you commit to a fight, you are a formidable foe. Virtually nothing is going to stop you from achieving your goal. I’ll tell you the key to losing the Pisces confusion and motivating yourself.

There are people you care about who will benefit and like it or not, as a Pisces you are here to serve and sacrifice. Don’t go off feeling like a victim, okay? Your ability to fight is pronounced. You are a fish with a SPINE.

So go kick some ass. Good luck.
~~
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Image provided by JaSunni-Unique-Jewelry-and-Artwork

Dear Wife of Mad Scientist,

I get it. You each have your own space designated but you want to expand
and tidy and update the common areas of your common home. Well let me ask you this: which of these do you want most? Do you want to rearrange the furniture, clean the garage, or clear the patio? I would choose one of the three because this is obviously not a priority to your husband.

“Honey, lets clear out the garage, rearrange the furniture and clear the patio.”

Yeah, riiiiiiiiight.

I think you can motivate him, but you’ll have an easier if you prioritize in advance and break the tasks up into manageable pieces.

I’m also a big fan of “if you want something done, do it yourself.” Just jump in and when you run into something too heavy, tell him, “I need your help.”

Use those words exactly, okay? Because your husband has a Virgo Moon. It’s very hard for Virgo to turn down someone who needs their specialized help.

Good luck!
~~
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Dear Frightened,

Upheaval on the domestic front is a given, with your Uranus transit to your Moon (home/emotion). Obviously a big move would qualify, as would leaving your man. But what is really driving this is your need for emotional freedom. Freedom from your security fears for one thing, and your husband is helping to facilitate this.

Nothing in your post suggests your husband is taking some huge risk with the security of your family. Further, you express your desire to support him. This suggests you have a good relationship and leaves me wondering how leaving him will enhance your security.

I’ll tell you what I really think is going on here. Your husband may very well be chasing independence but in the process, you will be liberated as well.

Many people resist change at all costs, which is why we need “instruments of the universe”. In your case, it’s your husband in this role. He’s initiating the action that will ultimately benefit you. See, left to your own devices, you’re not going anywhere! But this doesn’t serve you. Overcoming your insecurities does, and the universe is delivering a scenario to make that happen.

The days a “corporate job” spelled security are long gone. I mention this so you can think in facts, not fears. You may have less money short term, in your new digs, but this is a small price to pay for liberation. Do your best to embrace the new freedom coming your way. For one thing, I don’t think your fear can’t stop this. But more importantly - it’s good for you.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Trapped,

Your chart indicates a practical love nature, with Saturn in aspect to Venus. I don’t mean that in a judgmental way. There’s just more “business deal” in your love life than most of would care to admit. And I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. It seems you lack clarity, so I’m trying to offer you some.

On the artistic career, considering the emphasis on your fifth house (creativity) in your chart, I think this right for you. You have a lot of Libra in your chart so you’re not going to want to go it alone either. You’ll want a partner so the question is: Is this your guy?

Well, if he wants you to work for him, and he’s not willing to support you in pursuing something that will fulfill you - then frankly, I think you ought to look for a better deal.

And all this work mixed up with love stuff? Just get hip to it, because it’s in your chart. You will work for love, but by God it needs to work for you in return. So that can be your criteria. Ask yourself, is this relationship mutually beneficial? If it’s not and it can’t be put that way - that would be your cue.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Unhappy,

No, I don’t think you have to appreciate him more. It’s clear from your post that you appreciate him. I think this is more a question of perspective. Is your glass half-empty or half-full? Personally, I think it’s full.

See - when people are in their twenties, they accommodate others in all sorts of ways. They mould themselves to please their parents, get a date, or please their spouse. In their thirties, everything is for the kids! But when you get into your forties and fifties, it’s your chance to live a more authentic life. This is the reason most of us have a zillion friends when we’re twenty, but far fewer as we age. We just don’t want to accomodate others the way we had to when we were younger.

So this is what you’re up to, just like your man. He doesn’t want a BBQ. He’s doesn’t need a BBQ to feel good. He’s determined this, the same way you’ve determined you want to get out of the house!

Here’s my point: your relationship is real. It sounds secure, and your man is supportive and responsive to you. You might be able to see this in a different light. You’re in a relationship with an actualized man. One with a spine who knows what he wants. See what I mean? Change your focus.

Beyond that, get yourself a date night! Ask him to go out with you - you choose what and where. Shoot for once a week, but settle for twice a month. I think he’ll do this for you and it will benefit him as well. And the money?

I wouldn’t get hung up on it. You have more than he does. You want more than he does. You need more than he does. So what? You could get yourself a man with more resources but would he listen to you like this one does? Could you trust him? Would he let you be yourself?

You could get a social butterfly man as well, but what would he lack? You’ve got yourself an authentic partner. He’s “into you” as they say, so yes. I do think you have something really good here. So how about you take him out tonight?

Good luck.

~~
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