Dear Impaired,

It’s very easy to feel cursed and unworthy when you consistently lose out in relationships. You feel as if you are broken for love and next thing you know, you become tentative. Expecting rejection at every turn, even when something good does happen, it seems it’s only a matter of time before the sky falls. This makes you a very inhibited person.

Now along comes a boy. Maybe he’s free-wheeling. That looks good to you and you hook up with him easy enough, but as soon as you do, here comes your insecurities. You feel you’re not good enough, and fearful this will be discovered, you start to wig.

Maybe you overcompensate. Maybe you try to control the person. Maybe you put up walls - some sort of impediment that allows you to feel a modicum of safety. Probably you do all of these things and what happens? Your beau bails, that’s what.

Considering your chart, I am not surprised the way your life has manifested. But this doesn’t mean the past predicts the future - at least not in this case. You can change this (with effort) and I can tell you how.

The key is to address your fundamental feelings of being undesirable. These feelings frequently plague people with the planet Venus (love) tied to Saturn (restriction, delay, deprivation etc). And you should know you have a lot of company. You’re not the only one out there in this sort of circumstance. In fact, the Venus / Saturn aspect is not uncommon at all and plenty of people find a way a thrive, especially as they get older.

It’s because the young Saturn-type person busts their ass to compensate for not feeling good enough. Because of their increased effort, they wind up distinguishing themselves in some way, in spite of their pronounced insecurities.

Now it takes a long time. Like thirty years! But eventually the person looks in the mirror and discovers something.

“Hey! I look pretty good. Not only that, I have integrity and character, coming out of my ears. Maybe I don’t suck after all. Maybe I deserve love…”

And this is where you’re at. Or almost at. So here’s my advice:

Look in the mirror. I don’t care how hard this is for you, or what people have said to you in your life. Stand there and look at yourself until you can see something spectacular. I don’t care what it is. Are you graceful? Do you have a nice neck? Good legs? A quirky smile? Are you funny?

Whatever it is you come up with, force yourself to internalize it. Own it! You own your flaws, don’t you? And do this again and again and again until your true value begins to dawn on you.

Because I’ll tell you something about Venus Saturn types. They’re a good investment! You’re a person whose value increases with age. Bottom line, yours is an ugly duckling story. Someday you’re going to be “the one that got away”.

Good luck and much love