Dear Headlights,

I’m going to make this real simple for you and it will be your job not to jumble it up in a knot.

You are a super-responsible Capricorn crossed with a perfectionist Virgo. You’re using the energy of these signs to give yourself an ulcer!

Does your husband mind supporting you? Ask him. If he says he doesn’t mind, then believe him. Because I’m guessing you don’t have a dependent bone in your body.

If he doesn’t mind supporting you, I bet it’s because you serve him night and day. He probably knows he’d be completely lost without you. Seriously, I don’t think you know your value. You are judging yourself solely on your ability to earn income. That is completely ludicrous. Would you apply that criteria to someone else?

Here’s the key. If you can get it into your Virgo head that creating art is a service, you’ll be home free. Please talk to your husband. Then go be an artist!

~~
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Dear Part Time,

It’s nice to see all this Aries in a chart. I know I can be straight with you! The worst that can happen is you’ll come back fighting and I’ll duck. In whatever case, I get a reprieve from having to be polite!

Number one, your father is not going to change. Just forget about that ever happening. And this is in your best interest.

Your chart is almost entirely Cardinal signs: Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn. You have all these signs covered and so naturally, your number one desire is for CONTROL. You want to control everyone, in every way, all the time. And when you’re not able to, no problem. You just cut them out! But you can’t cut out your Dad, and you can thank God for that.

Because he’s your key. He’s literally your key to freedom. Because this is the deal: he does you no harm. Your ego gets bruised maybe, but he’s not doing you any real harm. All he’s doing is living akin to his nature and if you could find a way to accept and allow this… well, at that point you will have consciously accepted and embraced something into your life you cannot control.

If you can manage this, there’ll be great cause to celebrate. Break out the fireworks! Because you will see all kinds of pain drop off for one thing. Know why? It’s because you’re failing twice here and this is what’s bothering you. You’re failing to control your father, and you’re failing to control yourself as well.

If you could control yourself, you’d dump his ass, right? Obviously, you can’t do that. You can not amputate your father. You also can’t control him and the universe begs you to accept this. Just think. Your dad comes and goes as he pleases. Is that really so awful?

This is a fight you can’t win and besides that, it’s the wrong fight. Want a real fight? Fight to control your need to control! I promise that’ll keep you real busy!

Good luck!

~~
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Dear Lost,

No, you’re not going to be able to forgive him. How can you forgive him, when he’s still doing the thing that upset you - over and over and over and over? I know five years is a lot invested, but you don’t want to hang on to a man who’s screwing your friend.

Of course you can move on with your life! As a matter of fact, I’d say you aren’t going to be able to live until you move on with your life. There’s nothing to do but to cut your losses. See, if a man has “cold feet” after five years, you’ve already lost him. If he takes up with your friend, this is true 100-fold. I’m so sorry.

Cut your losses. Cry your tears. Try again.

~~
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Dear Perplexed,

Okay, wait a minute. You have deep faith you’re going to be with this man forever. But you’re worried about a week-long trip in December… and it’s still June.

Come again?

I really don’t think your man is going to abandon you - leave alone on Christmas, preferring the company of his MOM and his pal. He obviously planned the trip eons ago and if he were prone to taking off and leaving you on the side of the road, you’d know it by now.

I looked at the astrology and I agree with you. Your man is cautious, with his Venus tied up with Saturn. Basically he’s afraid in relationships, and people who are afraid in love do not plan trips with their lover six-months out. They lack faith!

And this is why he’s met you. A Pisces dreamer. Hitchhiking on your faith, he can learn that sometimes things do work out. In fact they work out beautifully. They work themselves out if you let them and this is what I suggest you do.

Nothing. When you’re still around in September or so, he’ll get you a ticket. You’re going on the trip. Wanna bet?

Send me a postcard.

~~
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Dear Wondering,

Someone up there thinks you should be together… are you sure? Maybe someone up there thinks you should be apart! This is what has manifested repeatedly, yes?

::laughs:: I’m just picking on you.

Here’s what I think. I don’t have his chart. But I think you’ve got a hard-core dilemma in yours:

The minute you’re in a relationship, you want freedom. Three minutes after you get your freedom, you want to commit again! ::shakes head::

Here’s the thing. I really don’t think it has any to do with this specific man. He probably has a similar setup in his chart, but this pattern is yours. What I mean, is you’ll constellate it with any man you meet, and it’s not subtle.

You have Uranus tied up with Venus which wants to love without rules and restrictions. You have that same Venus tied up with Saturn which is driven to commit and be responsible in love. I think you will feel bereft without a relationship, so just put that in your hopper.

But you’ll also never be rid of your urge towards independence and you’re just going to have to come to terms with this. Once you do that, you can begin to communicate honestly with someone - very likely this man. See, if you tell yourself the truth, then it becomes possible to expose yourself to another and at that point, you just might get your needs met. And what are your needs?

You need a committed partner who gives you lots of space. You don’t want him breathing down your neck every second. And if you think about this, you’ll see this is what you have with this man. It could be a lot cleaner though, so this is my advice: tidy up.

Good luck!

~~
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Dear Searching,

Do you know you’re a triple Aquarius? Sun, Moon and rising. You have some other planets in Aquarius as well, which means you’re like a classic Aquarius when it comes to love: an independent person seeking friendships. Aquarius is a cool detached intellectual, and I’m sure you relate.

But in your case there’s a wrinkle. Like spit in your soup - Pluto (intensity) sits in your seventh house (relationship) and guess what? When it comes to love, your cool head betrays you and you go for the burn.

It’s as if a relationship is a Roach Motel for you. You know, one of those boxes with the sticky bottom designed to catch bugs. The Aquarian roach walks in all nonchalantly, just an independent insect seeking friends. Then next thing she knows, her Plutonian intensity kicks in and she’s suffering, thrashing about, fighting for her life. It’s not pretty, is it? Are you sure you want to do that again?

Well I think you will, if you don’t get a deeper understanding of your own motivations. I’m just being honest with you. I don’t think it’s not enough to say you’ve been a doormat, so you’re not going to do that anymore, tra la la. Thirty-five year patterns are not broken in this manner!

If you’re serious about change, you’re simply going to have to get in there and dig. Why are you a doormat? What patterns from your childhood are you re-creating? Most importantly, you must have gotten something out of these relationships. What was your pay off? Because there had to be one. What did you get out of living on the edge for all those years?

And I don’t think this’ll come easy, because this is intense stuff which is anathema to an Aquarius - who prefer to stay in the head, and ignore the gut.

But you are not going to be able to amputate this part of your nature - the part of you that subconsciously goes for a man who makes you feel like you’re dying. But that experience can also make you feel strong, energized and ultimately empowered. Sort of like a roach coming out the other end of that box - if she makes it. She’s transformed after the experience.

You seek transformation in relationships. If you embrace this, you have hope of getting exactly what you need. You have to go into the motel, willingly. And the only way you’re going to do that is if you understand what’s in it for you.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Confused,

I don’t think you’re going to be able to ride this out. It’s a mid-life crisis, you know. We all have one, right around forty years old when Uranus in the sky opposes the Uranus in your natal chart. All the sudden, people just aren’t going to take it anymore.

At this point in your life, you’re aware you’re not going to last forever and by God, you’re not going to be restricted! No motherfucker is going to tell you what to do or not!!! Basically, you’re poised to throw the baby out with the bathwater and get yourself free - and in my experience, this is exactly what you will do. Should do, I mean.

Finally, finally, finally, you want to make your own rules, and it doesn’t matter what I say. The only thing that matters is you shake things up however you need to, so that you can live the rest of your life liberated.

Right now it may seem you have a choice. There is a debate in your head. But you’re asking about your chart, yes?

The fact is, your job dissatisfaction is just one manifestation of the profound urge for freedom you will experience through 2007. Think you’re going to be able to hold on that long? I don’t.

Have fun, okay? Have fun breaking the ties that bind.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Pisces,

You see a big change here, but I don’t. You’re prone to fantasy relationships and now you’re having another. You’re leaving, he has a girlfriend. He’s not available! So I don’t see the distinction between this situation and your play with men on the other side of the world. There’s nothing grounded here, you know?

You’re not obsessed because this is the right man for you. You’re obsessed because you have a rich imagination and you like to frolic in the land of un-reality. Not that it’s a problem, but here’s the point.

Yearning is your game, or one of them. You yearn for a man, or have a man yearn for you… or you do both. But are you interested in a grounded real-life relationship with a man? I see no evidence of that here.

Want to know what’s going to happen? Eventually, this veil will drop. You’ll be devastated, briefly. You’ll take two steps in any direction, then constellate another scenario just like this last scenario. At some point you’ll probably get hip to you and that point, you’ll have to choose.

You can choose to carry on as-is, because reality will never be as tasty as fantasy. Or you can choose to deal with an Earth Man. Either way, you’ll pine. You’ve got Pisces and you’ll never escape your urge to escape the mundane.

But this curse is also your greatest gift, and what you offer others. You have the ability to fanaticize and imagine the divine. When people are near you, they get a piece of that. Is it so bad to be a Fairy? I don’t think so.

Much love.

~~
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Dear Burned,

You are a Capricorn.

There’s not a Capricorn on this planet that does not have natural business acumen. This includes the ten-year-olds. Aside from your Capricorn sun, your chart has great emphasis on the Cardinal signs - Aries, Libra, Cancer and Capricorn. These signs were born to lead and this is why you’re so miserable working for someone else. It’s because you are a natural boss.

Now personally I can’t see how you can be born to do something and fail. It’s clear to me you must persevere in spite of your fear of failure (and fear of success). This fear, by the way is another trait you share with every other Capricorn on the planet. So this is my first advice:

That mountain in front of you? You’re going to climb it. You’re born to climb it, so just forget about looking left and looking right and wondering, should I, will I, can I? You should, you will, and you can. And check this:

You (and every other Capricorn on the planet) are goal-oriented. PERIOD. Without a “goal” and a lofty one at that, a Capricorn is barely breathing. You’ve got to climb, regardless of how treacherous it is. And I know it’s treacherous. But have you ever seen a mountain goat spend their life in a meadow? That’s a joke.

Looking around is wasting your time. Climb.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Impaired,

It’s very easy to feel cursed and unworthy when you consistently lose out in relationships. You feel as if you are broken for love and next thing you know, you become tentative. Expecting rejection at every turn, even when something good does happen, it seems it’s only a matter of time before the sky falls. This makes you a very inhibited person.

Now along comes a boy. Maybe he’s free-wheeling. That looks good to you and you hook up with him easy enough, but as soon as you do, here comes your insecurities. You feel you’re not good enough, and fearful this will be discovered, you start to wig.

Maybe you overcompensate. Maybe you try to control the person. Maybe you put up walls - some sort of impediment that allows you to feel a modicum of safety. Probably you do all of these things and what happens? Your beau bails, that’s what.

Considering your chart, I am not surprised the way your life has manifested. But this doesn’t mean the past predicts the future - at least not in this case. You can change this (with effort) and I can tell you how.

The key is to address your fundamental feelings of being undesirable. These feelings frequently plague people with the planet Venus (love) tied to Saturn (restriction, delay, deprivation etc). And you should know you have a lot of company. You’re not the only one out there in this sort of circumstance. In fact, the Venus / Saturn aspect is not uncommon at all and plenty of people find a way a thrive, especially as they get older.

It’s because the young Saturn-type person busts their ass to compensate for not feeling good enough. Because of their increased effort, they wind up distinguishing themselves in some way, in spite of their pronounced insecurities.

Now it takes a long time. Like thirty years! But eventually the person looks in the mirror and discovers something.

“Hey! I look pretty good. Not only that, I have integrity and character, coming out of my ears. Maybe I don’t suck after all. Maybe I deserve love…”

And this is where you’re at. Or almost at. So here’s my advice:

Look in the mirror. I don’t care how hard this is for you, or what people have said to you in your life. Stand there and look at yourself until you can see something spectacular. I don’t care what it is. Are you graceful? Do you have a nice neck? Good legs? A quirky smile? Are you funny?

Whatever it is you come up with, force yourself to internalize it. Own it! You own your flaws, don’t you? And do this again and again and again until your true value begins to dawn on you.

Because I’ll tell you something about Venus Saturn types. They’re a good investment! You’re a person whose value increases with age. Bottom line, yours is an ugly duckling story. Someday you’re going to be “the one that got away”.

Good luck and much love