Dear Good Girl,

No, I don’t see anything funky. I think your life is very hard. In fact it’s probably been so hard for so long, you aren’t even aware of it and worse, you’ve lost the ability to recognize high tide, when you’re in it.

What you’ve got is an urge to expand and rebel and here’s what I want you to do.

Stop thinking of this in terms of something gone wrong! I think you’re hard-wired this way. If you’re not performing excellently by rote - then you must be broken, crazy, manic-depressive. I’m sorry, but that’s ludicrous!!!

Instead, try to recognize, it’s a freedom urge you’re having and it desperately needs expression. What you want is a revolution. You want more freedom, but you don’t have to express this by turning into some delusional crack-smoking whore, do you?

I’m pretty sure the eating, etc. is a response to the stress. Take an animal born in captivity. Let a couple decades pass, and then drop them in the middle of the jungle. What should that animal do?

Answer?

Anything it wants to!!

But chances are that animal is going to have a very hard time. Luckily, you are a human being with a higher mind. You don’t want to smoke. You don’t want to eat pie all day, so what do you want to do? What do you really, really, really want to do?

Because what you have is a major opportunity to break out in the most positive way. And if you will and direct this energy to your benefit, you will progress beyond your wildest dreams.

Dear Left,

So you heal your partner and you wind up wounded, huh? Well, I hate to tell you, but this “White Knight” thing is one of your jobs out there, so I think you’re going to have real trouble getting out of it.

That would be like a Virgo getting out of helping people. Forget about it! It’s not going to happen. But that same Virgo can discriminate. They can decide who they’re going to nurse and who can go begging and you can do similar. So here’s my plan:

Consider giving up on other people’s values. See if you can quit trying to chase down what other people say is ideal as far as relationship. You know. It ought to be this. It ought to be that.

Instead, embrace the idea that sacrificing yourself and “White Knighting” is in your nature. If you can do this, I bet you will find yourself feeling empowered and simply more aligned with everything around you. At that point - Stage Two.

This part is a personal trick. I figured this out one day and thought I was a genius. Since you know you’re going to heal your partner…and it’s going to wound you, well what the hell? What the fuck? It seems like you’re hosed, but then I saw the solution! You only need find someone in the same condition as you. I’m serious. They’re out there and this works. Here’s how:

You heal them and become broken, which triggers their tendency to heal their partner. They turn around and care for you - which breaks them, causing you to step in and heal them…

Laugh if you want, but this works. I know, I’m living it. So this is who you’re looking for. Another wounded healer. And it goes without saying; you must expose your wound, yes? Which is what you did when you wrote me, so you’re on your way.

Try a personal ad: “White Knight seeks same…”

Much love.