Dear Blind,

First I’d like to congratulate you. You’re not even 25 years old and you’re on to you! This is rare. And since I don’t have to get you hip to your MO, it makes my job very easy. I only need redirect, so here I go.

Hell yes, this is in your chart. This is your curse and this is your gift. At the moment, you are using your gift to curse yourself, but it is utterly possible to reverse that. Gift yourself with your curse.

First, come to understand that this thing you do is ultra, ultra creative. Think about it. Sow’s ear becomes silk purse in your hands. That’s talent, babe. And it’s there. It’s your energy and it needs an outlet.

Compare this to a person with an overload to male energy. Someone who is just very YANG. What would be their options?

Well, they might run roughshod through life, obliterating everything in their path. Alternately they might focus their energy and become an Olympic athlete. But either way, the energy WILL play, see? So you have a choice like this.

Let me give you a for instance.

At the moment, your energy plays in love affairs, to disastrous result. But what if you were on stage, hmm? Think you could act as if you love some guy playing opposite you on stage? Well, hell yes! Like breathing, you could do this and guess what? No pain! You do your thing - your art - then go home to your man who is REAL.

Say you took up belly dancing. And you went and danced in some Greek restaurant on Fridays. You would be the object of people’s projections, yes? And you’d be working, but it’s all about illusion, isn’t it?

I’m telling you, you’re a creative artist and you can take command of your own energy. Quit wasting it by dreaming up losers. Instead find a more appropriate stage for your undeniable talent. At that point you will find your real partner, because he’s out there.

Good luck.

Your relationship with your mother begs for revolution, but once will not be enough. This is a static situation - a life time challenge that shows up in YOUR chart. Recognize that your mother stimulates you, and get as hip as you can to this, to maximize benefit.

For example, your success in part, is a rebellion against her negativity. Not that this is an easy way to go! But compare to some other gal who is coddled by her mother. In this way, your mother is the sand in your oyster.

But the main key here is DEATCHMENT. Learn to scope your mother in a cool and intellectual way and I’ll tell you a story to illustrate.

My daughter had a mean teacher awhile back. She was authentically mean, (and well meaning) and hoards of parents complained. I thought about complaining myself, but didn’t. I decided to teach my daughter something important, instead.

I explained to my nine year old, that this woman was slightly skittish. Maybe even really skittish. I told her there were people like this in the world and in fact - for the record, I was sort of skittish and so was she. However, in spite of her fairly bizarre methods, I felt her teacher was really into teaching. She very much wanted to help children, she just had a very unconventional and nutty way of doing so.

“Now I can and will complain, if you want. But there are skittish people all over the place, so how about you try to figure her out? See, I really don’t think she’s going to cut your fingers off, hon. She just thinks that’s a funny way to teach kids…”

Next day, my daughter went to school, completely empowered. She had this teacher’s number. Within a week, she had that teacher eating out of her hand, and my point?

Well this is the power in detaching. Basically, my daughter recognized the fact she was dealing with (good-hearted) Psycho Teacher. Armed with this information, she quit reacting to her emotionally, and Voila!

If you can adapt this scenario to your situation with your mom, I can just about guarantee improved relations.

Good Luck!

Dear Credit,

This is a very sad situation. Nothing could gross me out worse, than a parent who does not appreciate their loving, hard-working, caring, and competent child. Really, I’d like to slap her, but then I looked at her chart.

The woman is a mess. And she’s looking at you, right? She’s not looking in the mirror, so she’s not apt to be changing anytime soon. And this means it’s up to you which is brutally unfair. Your mother should be in your corner, rooting for you hard! But she’s not. At the moment, your mother is not a working model! So what are you going to do? Be broken yourself? Stay hitched to her, like some sort of sink? I wouldn’t. I’d detach.

Now what do I mean by that? Well, I’m not recommending you permanently write off your mother. There are degrees of detaching! But you do need to find a new way of dealing with her so here’s my idea.

Quit imagining she’s your Apple Pie Mom. She’s not. She’s more like Psycho Mom, okay? So when you’re called to the phone, don’t even get in your head, “maybe she’s appreciate x, y, or z”. Instead, call it like it is. Know up front that “Disapproving Control Freak Mom” wants to have a word with you and act accordingly.

“Blah, blah, blah, blah.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“You aren’t taking me serious.”

“Yes I am. Anything else on your mind, then?”

See that? You can be detached, and still have integrity. Because you are taking her seriously. You seriously know, there is no reasonable way to please her! So what are you supposed to do, huh?

Well, I’ll tell you. Independent from her, you’re a brilliant star. This is fact, based on your post, so I’d run with that. Cut the rope! And catch the magic in this, you Virgo! If you grow, she’ll grow. She’ll have to. So this means, acting in your own best interest serves you both. Pretty appealing, huh?

See, at the moment she has you to reflect back at her. She serves it up, and you return the ball. But what if you learn to duck the ball? To dodge the ball? She’ll have to find a new game, yes? And that’ll be good, because this one sucks.

So there’s the surface, but I want to go deeper with this one, so I’ll be back.

To be continued.

Dear Broken Hearted,

The deal here is exactly what you say it is. He doesn’t want to settle down! He wants to have sex. He wants to have fun. And he does not want to settle down!

And this is part of his appeal. Can you see that? He’s elusive and he’s dashing and he can’t be broken. He can’t be contained and this is one of the reasons you’re passionate for him.

See, he’s this free bird out there and he’s simply not looking to have his wings clipped. Your issue is CONTROL. You want to control the situation and it would be very good if you could see that if you were to ever be successful in this endeavor - you’d have *nothing. Well, you’d have some broken puppy-man, but you’d hate that, wouldn’t you?

So figure it out. Do you want dashing and elusive? Or do you want safe and predicable?

If you’re like most people, you want both! And if this is the case, then quit trying to kill the goose that’s laying your eggs!

I know you’re thinking, “We have good sex, so let’s settle down.” But he doesn’t think that at all. He thinks - we have good sex, so let’s have some more good sex! And some more good sex after that. And it’s not because you fall short in anyway. It’s just the way he’s strung.

So can you honor this? Can you love him the way he is? Because he’s making it real clear he doesn’t sign any documents and I’m pretty sure the more you cling, the more he’s going to pull back.

I gotta tell you, I don’t think there is a failure here. He’s 23 and when I was that age, I was just like him. I wanted to have fun and I wanted to have sex. Lots of men wanted to contain me - nail me down and this just never occurred to me. The less it occurred to me, the more it occurred to them and it didn’t take long until the whole thing collapsed.

The man I wound up attached to was the one who let me go - and even told me to go, on occasion. And it’s easy to see why, huh? He was the one who “got me”.

So there you go. This is what you’ve got, and from here, it’s your pick.

~~

photo credit - “Flight Pattern” by selva

Dear Sagittarian,

Mostly you sound confused, so how about a clearer perspective? Number one, I don’t think you have the right man. There’s no actual ambivalence regarding this, in your post. What you do have is a sense of responsibility that is overblown and over the top.

See, you’re unhappy in the relationship, so must be something wrong with you, right?

::coughs::

Well that’s just sick. Not that I don’t think you’re responsible, because I do! But you’ve got this twisted.

It’s your responsibility to set up your life in a way that makes you happy. It’s not your responsibility to make yourself happy with guy “A”, or guy “B” or any other specific man out there. Make sense?

I agree, your little town dreams of nirvana are probably escapist. But you’re unhappy in the relationship and so is he. You say you have the ways and means to leave, yes? Well, why would you stay?

I know you can understand sacrificing yourself to an unhappy relationship is not a very good plan for the future. You’re sparing him? No. He’s getting creamed, remember? In not taking your freedom, you are costing him his.

Look. You have your Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars… etc. in Sadge. You must live your truth. You must live a life you believe in. This is your JOB. And this is your problem, too. Because right now, your life is one big fat lie.

You want to be responsible? Fine. Then find yourself some real ideals. How about living a life that reeks of truth and integrity? Because this is what you were made for this - nothing less. You’re supposed to be the proud horse looking out over the horizon, an example to us all, not some crippled up little thing. Get up and run and I promise you, you’ll find your path.